The Asian Indian Immigrant Curse

 The past few weeks have brought a string of bad news from my friend circle. 

I've been toying with the idea of writing a book - the abstract theme being first generation and maybe second generation Asian Indians who immigrated to America, and how their life stories unfolded. It would be a combination of real life stories and fiction. 

And as I keep getting more and more of these bad news, I am compelled to pen them down in one way or another. Why? I have some reasons which I will share later, as I still need to ponder over them a bit. 

#1: A mom in her 30s has been battling brain cancer for 4+ years now. Her life, since the day of her diagnosis, has been so difficult. She has gone through surgeries, been in coma for several weeks, has had to endure radiation and chemo, and constant use of steroids has made her gain so much weight. But that's only part of the equation. The real sad aspects of this diagnosis and her suffering are beyond just her physical health. Her spouse and kids (as well as parents n extended family) have also had to endure these years. They've all grown apart from each other. The kids don't consider their mom "a real mom" and husband doesn't feel her to be "a wife or partner". Because, whichever way you look at it, she is dependent, and largely disabled. She can't see very well, she can't drive, she cant run/jump, she can't cook much - and no matter how compassionate, empathetic, or kind we are -- until we are forced to be in a situation like this family, we have no idea how we will deal with it when such circumstances fall upon us. As an outsider, I see this family's life and future crumbling down, and at times, it brings unbearable sadness to me. Not sure how they feel about coming here as young professionals in their 20s, leaving behind everything they knew and their entire support system, and being faced with such a tragedy so early in life. It sure feels like a curse!!

#2: 4 different friends have had to fly to India on short notice as one of their parents (or siblings) got diagnosed with cancer, or other life threatening issues. One has prostate cancer. One has nerve damage/lung damage from post-covid complications. One has leukemia. Another had a brother who suddenly past away due to cardiac arrest. Most of our parents are now in their 70s, some also in their 80s. You can argue and say it is expected. But you always hear news about things happening to other people, and only when it happens or affects you directly is when you realize how difficult it is. These friends are young professionals, in their 30s or early 40s, with spouses and kids in schools. The way our life is structured in the US, it is extremely difficult to be a single parent without support. So when one parent has to travel urgently, it's adds a tremendous amount of burden on the parent that now has to pick up single parenting responsibilities. I am wondering if we can anticipate it and plan for it, knowing that as parents get older, they will need our help at some point? None of our parents want to move here, and clearly, we don't want to leave everything behind and move back to India. This is the immigrant curse again, especially for first generation immigrants who left their parents behind when they came here to prosper. 

#3: Retirement - I have also started thinking about how (and where) I would like to retire. I certainly don't expect my kids to take care of me, unless I am severely disabled and cannot sustain myself without help. I try to eat a nutritious plant-based diet, exercise regularly, walk every single day, do daily breathwork and meditation - all in hopes of keeping myself healthy as I age. But I cannot control or choose what the future will bring to me. I wonder how immigrants who have been coming for so many years have managed, and whether they have been happy with their choices, or whether they have struggled, or are still struggling, and what kind of mental emotional issues have they faced. Do they feel they have a support system in place, or they feel they could have been happier if they have never come here? I have so much curiosity about this phase of life. I know my parents are okay so far, but at times, they lament on how none of their kids live in India. But when they come here, they are not thrilled either. Again, that immigrant curse, especially for first generation immigrants, strikes hard!

I will continue to post more of these stories - and would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Hola!

Hope things have been well for you, my dear readers!!

 Time for musings from this year so far....

 

-- Bridgeton on Netflix - Just finished watching Season 2. I am not a big TV or Netflix person, but I happened to watch Season 1 last year and had enjoyed it. The lead female character this season is South Asian, and there are a few other cast members who are diverse as well. It's refreshing to see how mainstream studios are now choosing brown people as their leads. There is a distinct shift in the entertainment industry that you can observe, and it's refreshing to see. Since my involvement with Hollywood or entertainment was always limited, I never really thought how difficult it was for people inclined in creative/visual/performing arts to find projects and jobs because it has always been a white dominated industry. I watched Oscars and Grammys etc and would hear about how black people rarely won an Oscar, but didn't really connect it with the 2nd and 3rd generation Asian population in the US also experiencing similar outcomes. I love what I'm seeing - from beauty brands like Tinted and Ranavat, to Priyanka Chopra's Hair Care brand Anamoly, to talk show host Lily Singh, to Simone Ashley in Bridgerton Season 2 - it seems we have arrived on the scene!! 

-- The Starch Solution by Dr John McDougall - I have known about this book, and the starch solution method/way of eating - for a while now. But it's taken a long, convoluted road for me to adopt it as a lifestyle. I made the switch to eating primarily starch based in the beginning of 2022, and what a life-changing shift has occurred. No other diet worked for me in the past because it always came with calorie restrictions - this one doesn't. I love potatoes, and rice, and fruits, and I can eat to my heart, mind and stomach's content on this plan. I've been vegan for a long time now, so I had the basics nailed down already, but my daily meals were not balanced. I'm eating a lot more vegetables, and have been able to identify and deal with triggers associated with emotional eating and social pleasing. 

I've dropped 22 lbs so far in 2022, and can't wait to get my cholesterol checked in May, to see how it has improved. I feel better than ever, mentally and emotionally, more than physically. 

I've found a great mentor and coach, Linda, who has helped me through this process. And I'm not done yet - there is still work to do. Linda is 78 years old, and has been vegan for 34 years, and eats starch based. She was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 44, and has been cancer free all these years. I've been lucky and blessed to cross paths with her, and have recommended her to friends who have also benefited from her counseling and guidance. 

Please read the book, and read the newsletters online from Dr. McDougall's website. There is no reason in this age to continue to rely on animals for our dietary needs. Meat, Seafood, Eggs, Dairy - they all come with unnecessary torture, suffering and killing of animals and birds. It's the modern day Holocaust that we willingly participate in - day in and day out. As humans, we CAN choose to do better. We have choices to substitute everything that comes from animals to something that comes from the plant kingdom - and I wish more and more people understood and adopted this. 

-- Minimalism: I have a sooper fab update on this topic, that I touched upon briefly last year. I can now say that I have achieved my goal of completely decluttering my entire house of things that I don't need, and it is now a minimalist household. I did a lot of reading, consulting with organizing companies, making plans, etc - and after doing that for almost 2 years, I found one lady - Rachel - who I hired to help me with this process. To start and finish on my own was overwhelming, so hiring Rachel was a blessing. She works by herself, is extremely affordable, and we did a trial day together. We hit it off like we had been best friends for years, and over a period of 2 months, where she came anywhere from 4-10 hours per week to my house (half day, 2 half days, 1 full day each week, depending on her schedule and my availability) - we went through every shelf/drawer/cabinet/closet/storage in my house, and got rid of what we don't need. Not only that, she helped me put systems in place for organizing, so that it takes us few minutes daily or even weekly to keep things the way they always are. We did this in Feb-March of 2022, and I can say that it's been working GREAT so far. The #1 thing I used to dread is folding n putting away my laundry, now it only takes me 5 mins, and my closet is 25% of what it used to be. For the first time since our wedding, my husband and I now share a closet, and we still have space :)!! The kitchen and pantry is also free from unnecessary "nice to have" "may need one day" stuff, and it's all organized superbly. From desperately wanting to move out either to declutter or upgrade our home, we now have an empty living room, and space in all closets. We no longer feel this urgent need to move to a bigger home, and the peace of mind that this effort has brought has been priceless. 

My next goal on minimalism is digital media consumption. And I'm still working on social media addiction, to be honest. I spend way too much time on social media, and am not happy about it. I think it still fills a void for me, and I'm in the process of figuring out why I feel a void without it, what purpose it serves, and how can I be happy without it. I don't want to rush into giving it up without understanding the reasons properly, so for now, I've put time limits on all my apps. And I'm slowly working my way to filling the void without social media. 

-- Breathing/Meditation/Art/Journaling/Daily Walks - I continue to practice all of these daily, in some form or other. Adding blogging to the mix now. These are all sooper important for my mental health, especially my daily walks. 

-- Strength training - I hired a new personal trainer this year, after my previous one relocated to a different part of California last year. As such, the previous trainer was not working out well for my needs. I needed someone who would work on my form, and help me correct mistakes as well as help strengthen weak areas of my body so that I could effortlessly do pushups, pullups, narrow squats, etc. Again, through some networking and manifesting, I found someone who seems to fit my needs extremely well so far. I workout with her, Jackie, twice a week at my house. Her workouts are a full 70 mins, and I'm already doing perfect narrow squats, and assisted band pullups. We are working on strengthening my core, which I think is hindering my progress with doing full pushups. I can do 3-5 pushups, but my form isn't great. I'm sooper happy with the progress this year so far. And I can't wait to see where I'll be with my strength in a few months!!

-- Finance and Investments - This is another area where I really need to grow my knowledge. I was never really taught how to manage all the money I earn. I've been working for 20+ years now in the US, and know a few things. But I am still very much a beginner. One of the goals I have is to generate enough passive income in the next 5 years to not have to rely on a paycheck after that. So I'm learning and spending time understand all the different ways I can achieve that goal. My husband is the same as me - just because he is a man, doesn't mean it all comes naturally to him. He is more laidback than I am, and that hasn't helped us being smart about our investments. Well, better late than never. We were so swamped with raising our babies that we couldn't find time to think beyond our day to day life. Now we can, and I'm making it a priority. I've already made a couple of good investments this year so far, and I'm manifesting that in 5 years or less, I can generate sustainable passive income to not have to work at all. It's a lofty goal, but let's see where it takes me. If you can help in anyway, with books/courses/contacts in US/ideas to help me with this, please do. I'll be sooper grateful if I find resources that can reduce the amount of time I have to spend to learn things myself, or make the mistakes n learn from them, or reduce the time it takes to achieve goals - anything that will help me I'm willing to accept help. 

Next post will be an update on the kids :)

Still the same...

I read my post from April, and realized not much has changed in the last month or so....

We got a few offers for our home, but nothing worked out. We decided not to sell our current home. We will not be moving to a new house. Things have a way of working out for themselves....and this whole process has been very educational, as well as beneficial for us. Purging, cleaning, organizing the home has been the biggest benefit so far. My credit score had taken a beating due to some issues and those issues are resolved now. We've understood the local market criteria, how to stage a home, how to get ready for showings, do open houses, and have learnt a lot about the real estate selling process these past couple months. In a way, I'm relieved I don't have to move. We like this place, and the neighborhood. We are looking forward to enjoying the summer break here!

Things at work are still somewhat stressful. There is no clear direction for our group. The management has changed, even though our project and work has not. I've lived with ambiguity before, so I have not been negatively impacted so far. But you can sense the turmoil when you enter the campus each day. Lots of folks have cancelled vacations and sabbaticals, and in general, the mood is somber. Not an environment I would choose to be in, if I had that choice right now.

Kids have been falling sick quite a bit. It has been extremely difficult to manage these times. The son is napping next to me as I type this. He has high fever, and an ear infection. He vomited his dinner last night, leading to a ton of laundry and midnight bath, as well as a sleepless night for us. 

So yeah, that's life, but if you look, you can always find happiness and joy around :).... 

The daughter had a beautiful graduation ceremony for kindergarten yesterday. She has triumphed this year in a new school, made lots of new-diverse friends, and has grown so much. As parents, we did an average job. The morning routine was always stressful, the evening homework routine was also somewhat stressful, and we could have done a lot better in managing our emotions during this time. We have learnt from this experience and hope that the next year will be much better. 

We have a vacation coming up in June - YAY!!. Tickets have been booked and some trips have been planned. We will be meeting family and friends that we haven't connected with in a long time. Our travel and break from routine is very much anticipated! 

Kids have been learning canvas painting techniques with a friend who is an excellent artist. She lives on a 5-acre farm with chickens, dogs and tortoises. She plants a huge produce garden each year, and kids have helped her this year with planting. Our weekly visits to her place are always so much fun, as well as therapeutic!

Summer is here, and the kids have been having lots of play dates, park outings (including spray parks), and attending birthday parties. Weather has been gorgeous and they are also enjoying bike rides. They've been picking up germs and getting sick too, but I would gladly take these common illnesses in lieu of the awesome outdoor fun any day!!

Here's a graduation picture and a couple of our adventurous boy to end the post....such joy on the kids' faces - more than enough to evaporate all the stress!

January, so far.....

Happy New Year to all of you!

January has been a mixed bag of emotions for us so far.

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Good news first....

I completed 14 years at Intel - and I'm really looking forward to my second sabbatical!

How does it feel? Pretty good. Not like corporate slavery a bit. I'm grateful for being in positions which have always challenged me, and kept me away from politics, paper-pushing and managing people.

However, I feel the need of changing my profile in the near future. My current job is one of the best I can find (architecting new technologies), but I'm tired of the group I work with. Hardly any women around as you go up the ladder (Intel ranks very poorly in growing tech women), and some of the men are just too ruthless. A change would be good - but a change also means my work-life balance, which is superb currently, could go for a toss. Decisions, Decisions....

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So, 14 years at Intel, and 15 years since I left India. I had no idea how life would shape up for me when I arrived here. But I'm grateful that I got a job within 9 months of landing in this country, and by the time I graduated I had enough savings to pay off my student loan. I never got laid off, and we are able to raise our family in a small town with all the perks of a city. I really could not have expected anything better.

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Last January, the son developed breathing issues, and had to be rushed to ER. I pulled him out of daycare, and had no idea what to do. Spoke to mum n dad, and they decided to come down and help for 6 months. They are my superheroes, honestly. They are far better at raising my children than me. And because of them, my kiddos went through the year without needing to be medicated. (They got sick but nothing out of the ordinary).

Come this January, and the son is sick again. Parents were here until a few days ago, and right after they left, he has come down with a bad case of flu. Combine that with a croupy cough, and my child is miserable. We've been home all week nursing him back to health. Experience, good or bad, always helps.....and so we are much better prepared this time. Please say a prayer for him - I really hope he gets better quickly and does not fall sick too much this year.

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The daughter will start Kindergarten later this year. I went for an orientation last night at a private school that is our #1 choice for her, and came back pretty frustrated. They have a 30-minute assessment test that the kids have to take prior to enrollment, and guess what? the test is on the IPAD. Something on the lines of GRE, where the questions get tougher if you answer them correctly, and easier if you go wrong. And I'm thinking, SERIOUSLY? She is only FOUR years old, and has no idea how to work on an IPAD. Apart from a few occasional songs or rhymes we play for the kids, they never use it. No games, no apps.

We focus on reading, life skills, fine motor skills, play play play, having fun, and that's it.

The public school we have is great, but it does not have a good after-school care program. And since we both work full time, we have to put her in private for at least a couple of years.

Again, I have some tough decisions ahead of me. Thankfully, I have options, and I'll have to work harder on making them work. Or I just have to quit working and home school the children.

More on the test here: http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20140707/upper-east-side/quiz-are-you-smart-enough-get-into-private-kindergarten

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Our wedding anniversary is coming up later this month. We don't do gifts. We like to travel, but we are yet to plan a getaway this year. If the kids stay healthy, we will make it happen. If not, I'm looking forward to a nice dinner with the family :)!

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Those bad news that I talked about in December - they somehow don't see to stop. Or maybe I'm just extra sensitive lately.

A dear friend's son got hurt on the foot which got infected after sutures, and is still on antibiotics.

Another friend's 5-month old daughter was in ICU for pneumonia and had a rough time. She is now thankfully okay. Home and happy and healthy.

I met our friend who lost their 17 month old daughter last year - and could see how empty they felt. I could not ask them much about their ordeal, and I also found it hard to say anything about my kids to them. I don't think I can relate to their grief at all.

A colleague has been steadily losing weight without trying, and is very concerned about something wrong with his body. I'm concerned about him too - he is single and does not have family around here. Let's hope it's nothing serious when the tests results come.

There's more but I'll stop here....

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Mom n Dad were here with us for the holidays. They left right after New Year, and we are all feeling homesick in our own home - funny, isn't it?

The son is especially down....he refuses to chat with them on FaceTime and keeps saying that he wants them to come back.

I hope they come back soon, or we get to visit.....

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So that was the mixed bag so far - nothing fancy, but hoping it only gets better from here :) :)!!!!

Here's a sweet bonding moment that I managed to capture on my iphone - too cute for words :) :)!

UBM Post 30 - The work-life balance saga

I was going to post something light and funny today, but I read a few posts related to the evergreen debate on a working mom vs a stay-at-home mom, and hence this post.

These are the posts I read:

http://nychthemeron.blogspot.in/2009/03/kids-and-maids.html (read the comments too)

http://nychthemeron.blogspot.com/2013/07/kids-and-maids-2.html (don't read the comments; I'll post my long one here)

http://www.indianamericanmom.com/2013/07/ditch-the-mommy-guilt.html

http://readingthroughrsmind.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/

http://www.momaical.com/2013/06/women-who-have-it-all-and-other-lies.html

And the one with which I resonated the most:
http://www.blogher.com/are-you-pwm-proud-working-mom

Now adding my two cents:

First, my response on the second post listed above:

I work, and my daughter went to daycare (now preschool), and the son will go to daycare soon. And I live in the US, so I'll speak for what I do here.

This is how I make it work:
- We kept the kids home upto a year...actually a little more than that (until I nursed them). Both of us took ALL the leave we could get (paid and unpaid) so that was like 9 months+, rest of the time parents helped out.
- I had kids at a time in my career where I could get flexibility to work from home as much as I want. I invested 10 years of hard work before I got this luxury.
- I switched to part time for a few months when the daughter started daycare. Hubby did the same. So our daughter who turns 3 this week, has never gone to daycare 5 days a week, 8 hours a day.
- We have no maids to cook, clean, etc. We do have a gardener, and occasionally (once every 2 months) call someone to help with the house. Stuff like windows, doors, blinds, lamps, ac vents, etc that we don't clean routinely, they help out.
- Kids get the socialization they need in daycare, eat lunch, and nap. They eat breakfast and dinner at home, go to activities with us, go to the park with us, go for play dates with us.
- BOTH of us have put our careers in cruise mode...no promotions for a while, no working long hours, no work related travel, no meetings off hours.
- Each of us takes atleast 2 vacation days every month (that's 4 total days) to do fun stuff with kids, or just to be home with them. These are impromptu.
- When they are sick, we are with them 24x7. Daycares here don't allow sick children anyway.

On top of this, finding the right daycare provider is also key. I feel only a mom who has done this with her kids (preferably more than one so that she has more varied experience) can do a good job. Exceptions are everywhere but I am talking about norm. Recommendations matter big time - make sure you pick someone who has nothing but good referrals.

Now, on choosing to continue to work: I feel, if I have invested 6+ years in studying for some profession, and 10+ yrs working in it, it's really unfair to chuck it all away. It's terrific income for the family too. Do you want women to just be moms all their life and not grow in other professions? What about our daughters? what do we want them to do when they grow up? Not everyone can stay home for X no of yrs and get back into the workforce when they please. I have countless examples of frustrated and depressed moms who quit work when their children were born, and now want to work but there are no appealing jobs. Even my own mom who made the same decision when I was born (I am her eldest child) always laments that she could never have a career. Money also matters - not just for survival but for self-esteem and independence as well- it is not easy asking money from your spouse for small small personal expenses, gifts to friends, charging mobile phone cards, etc and not being asked how much you spend each month....it can be a big reason for conflict between a couple. I can continue, but there are countless benefits to women working. Quitting I feel is the easiest option to choose, not necessarily the best one for yourself, your child or your family.

In summary, it is possible to achieve an acceptable work-life balance if you choose to work on it diligently. It requires careful planning and execution, but totally doable. And a good infrastructure that supports working moms is essential in all countries. IF we had that, we would not face this dilemma and guilt.

As I have expressed here before as well, the right kind of infrastructure is key. The government can help you, but the more I think about it, I come to a conclusion that it is upto YOU to create your own infrastructure. Only you can figure out what will work for you and your child(ren).

Another key point for a working woman is: equal contribution from spouse on ALL aspects of parenting. Sure, men can't get pregnant or breastfeed (how I wish they could do that), but other than these two things, they should be able to share the rest of the burden.

My husband starts his 6-week bonding leave today. I think it's incredible that he is choosing to take this leave which is a benefit from the state, but comes with very little pay. He is also a person who has woken up most nights to help with our infant/toddler children. He shares 50% of the household chores with me. He can cook some delicious stuff when the need arises (he was a regular before but now he babysits while I cook, mostly coz I'm much quicker). He can bathe both the kids, dress them up, take them for their activities, park and museum outings, read stories at bedtime and put them to bed. He feeds them all their meals. If I have to be away for work, I know he will be able to manage without me, and he will do a good job. Many times, I have found that I am the one who worries so much about how he will manage a certain situation, but in reality, when I leave it upto him, he does fine (and often, does it the same way I would have).

Our neighbor also starts his 6-week bonding leave today. It is even more incredible as his wife is a stay-at-home mom and they have three kids. Money is tighter for them than us. But he wants to enjoy summer with the kids, and more importantly, give a little bit of break to his wife.

Another neighbor, and a very close friend of ours, he stayed home with two of his children for 5+ years, while his wife worked during that time. I will not go into the reasons why they made this choice, but having known them for close to 8 years now, I can say he did an amazing job with his boys. I always tell my husband to learn as much as he can from him.

So, if husbands start helping out equally, take bonding leave during the first couple years, and there is a network of trusted, reliable daycare providers in town - a working woman has no reason to completely quit her job, if she is really inclined to work.

On a personal level, I'm in awe of women who just quit their careers and choose to stay home with their kids. Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the world, in my opinion. So I have lot of admiration and respect for each of them. It's just that when they take us working moms on a guilt trip, I feel I need to voice my support and level out the field :)!

I now rest my case!!!!

A Day at the hospital

So if you read my previous post, you must have read about my weekend plans. Life seldom goes as planned. This weekend was just another example.

My dad passed out - three times - fell down and injured himself - in the middle of the night on Friday....and we had to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He has epilepsy, which means he has a history of seizures. He also takes cholesterol medication, coz genetically my entire family produces more cholesterol than average...and so is always at a higher risk for a stroke. So with these two risks, he was admitted for a full checkup at the hospital to make sure it was nothing serious.

I was in constant consultation with my cousin who is a cardiologist over the phone, and his tips were very valuable.

We were all anxious throughout Saturday....tests kept running but results were pending. When we finally got most of the results, we were relieved to find out that nothing major was going on. The neurologist also visited late in the evening and diagnosed it to be a minor issue.

But he still had to spend the night in the hospital - coz you see, most seizures for him occur in the middle of the night. So they had to monitor him for 24 hours to make sure this episode would not recur.

Dad was admitted in the same (the only one in town) hospital where I spent 4 days recently when I delivered the baby, so it was all too familiar.

This time around, the emergency doctor and other staff were quite good. But the communication channel between them and the regular hospital staff is kind of broken, so its very important to be your own advocate.

After spending about couple hours in this environment, the sound of all the monitors gets to me. I think babies must feel this way with white noise. It numbs the brain.

The patients in our ward were all seniors. Most of them were frustrated, and wanted to leave as soon as possible. One particular guy was walking around with an IV and each time he met me, he told me he would leave the hospital at noon, whether or not the doctors discharged him.

When I think about or observe the nurses at the hospital, I always wonder how they manage to work 12+ hour shifts. Especially when it's the graveyard shift. They also have family and kids just like all of us - and they would have had to adjust so much to be able to work. It is indeed a noble profession to be in.

The picture at the beginning of the post is of dad undergoing an EEG, where 25 electrodes are placed on his head, and a couple on either sides of shoulder. The technician who did this test has been doing this for 25 years, and is the only one in our town qualified to do so. She has great job security :).

We spent about 36 hours at the hospital, after which we were happily discharged. I hope we have a clean bill of health for the rest of the year, and beyond :).

Don't Forget to LIVE

My husband sent this to me yesterday. It's a powerful message so I am sharing it with all of you.

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I checked my email on my iphone. After that, as usual, I logged in to facebook (via an iphone app) to check the status updates.

I was shocked to find this message from an ex-colleague:

"CP is in shock and in so much pain at the sudden death last night of my husband, M. I would normally not post this so broadly, but so many of you knew him and I am asking everyone to spread the word for me so that all the lives he touched can know of this tragedy. It seems utterly impossible that I go thru these days without the person who loved me unconditionally. Please pray for our family during this time."

And another such message from her today morning:

"Nearly 24 hours w/out my M, our daddy, our son, our brother our cousin, our nephew and our friend. Such tremendous outpouring of support today from all of our friends, neighbors and family. I honestly don't know how to get through the next minute, other than to breathe and love on our kids. We will be setting GA and CA funeral / burial plans. Thanks you for ALL your messages, support & tears. I love EACH of you."

I could not digest this news. Even though I did not know my colleague's husband personally, its such a tragedy. I am still upset and very sad that she has to deal with this loss. She has 3 kids, the youngest only a year old, and I cannot even imagine how difficult it is for her and the kids.

As I read this, all my fears came alive. I was dreading everything that could happen to me.

Life is so fragile. I just simply assume that so many things will never happen to me....and when I read this post, I realized its not true.

I was suddenly thankful of having spoken to my parents the previous night, and to my sister the previous evening. These are routine things that I do but they felt special to me yesterday morning. I had spent a good weekend with my husband visiting a close friend who was sick. I suddenly felt grateful for that. 

I am praying for my friend CP and her family. And I hope they find the strength to go through this pain. And I hope somehow, with a lot of LOVE and with the passing of TIME, that they can lead a somewhat normal life. 

For all of us, I have this quote to share:

"Live each day as if it were your last, and Learn each day as if you live will forever."

Be blessed!