Sunday, November 29, 2009

A book review on Rowing the Atlantic

St. Augustine quoted:
"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering."

Adventure fascinates me. I love to explore. And travel. I think I got it from my dad.

Growing up, we traveled a lot across India. Every couple years, we would visit new places. I have been to Kashmir twice, and it is still #1 on my list of "favorite places I have visited so far". Each trip with my family would be an adventure. We were not rich, so we traveled mostly by train and bus, and mom packed lots of meals from home to save money on food. Every trip brought our family closer, and every trip taught me few lessons worth cherishing.

After coming to the US, I have done several adventurous things....and maybe the most significant has been my hike to Half Dome in Yosemite (~18-mile round trip with 4800 ft elevation gain). Each trip to a national park in the US has been amazing - kind of sacred - and has taught me so much. Apart from hiking, I love biking, playing tennis/racquetball, kayaking, etc and have tried adventurous things like hang-gliding, white water rafting and most recently sea kayaking.

I read an article recently on CNN.com about Roz Savage , the ocean rower. I read a few of her blog posts, and came to know that she was releasing her first book "Rowing the Atlantic" - Lessons Learned on the Open Ocean...and was intrigued. I decided to order the book and finished reading it last week.

Let me start by saying that I absolutely loved the book.

How many of us would dare to leave our jobs, divorce our husbands, leave all materialistic possessions behind and decide to row SOLO across an ocean to find happiness and a purpose to live? I just admire the guts this woman has. Agree that the measures she took to find happiness are extreme, and not everyone needs to go to the great lengths she did, but I do admire her courage.

While reading the book, I reflected upon my life a lot. I love books that make me do that. I realized I am fairly content with how my life is right now. I am not unhappy. I don't hate my job....I would love to do something different than engineering, if given an opportunity, but I certainly don't hate my work at this time. I feel extremely loved by my family, my husband, and my friends. At every point in my life when I am going through difficulty, I feel blessed to have people who I can rely upon and who can be trusted.

Having said that, there are few things that could definitely change in my life to make me feel happier (it's a relative term, isn't it?).

Coming back to the book, what I loved the most is Roz's description of all her challenges at sea, and how she handled them, and the thoughts that went through her mind at that time. She was the last person to start the race, and she didn't like that. She secretly hoped she would do better, and she did. I saw a bit of myself in her when she described that.

Throughout the book, she beautifully illustrates Mr. Self-critical, Mr. Self-Doubt, Mr. Guilt and Mr. Competitive. I enjoyed reading how she deals with them during her adventure.

While reading through her pages which described her upbringing and education, I reflected a lot upon how I grew up. In a very different environment, to say the least. I will not say that I don't desire for materialistic possessions, but I do feel I am mostly content with what I have, at any point in life. When I came to the US, my dad helped fund a loan for my education, and it was the first time I had taken such a huge debt. So I used to think twice even to buy a banana for a snack, which I found very expensive coz I was still converting $$ to Rupees in my head all the time.

When I recently purchased a home, I bought the most affordable one, which a lot of my friends feel small. I find it more than spacious for my needs and I am happy. It doesn't have a huge backyard, or a pool, or a big kitchen, or a jacuzzi....but it has all the basics that a couple would need, and much much more than that. It has a lot of upgrades, which I like, and its brand new. More than anything, it fits our budget at this time, and when I go to bed every night, I feel peaceful, rather than stressed.

Coming back to Roz's adventure. I loved how she always found a way to believe in herself. When, one by one, all of her oars broke, and she figured out how to move on. Her blisters, her tendinitis and how she dealt with them. Her days after her satellite communication failed. I was impressed that she carried a sprout maker with her on the boat - a lightweight inexpensive thing which had such a great use for this kind of journey. The Ziploc bag of homemade greetings cards from her mom reminded me of mom's love - nothing can beat that.

Solitude - how many of us have spent so many days by ourselves, anywhere on this earth, with no contact with human beings? It's frightening for most, I am sure. I routinely have days when I am off the internet, minimal phone calls, no TV, with just a book to read. But that's just a day and its easy.

These are the life-learned philosophies that Roz has shared on her website :








  • Don’t waste mental energy asking yourself if you CAN do something. Just do it. You’ll surprise yourself. I did.
  • Be clear about your objectives. Ignore others, stay true to yourself and measure success only against your own criteria. I was last to finish the race – big deal. I went out there to learn about myself, and I did.
  • The only constant in life is change. So don’t get depressed by the bad times, and don’t get over-excited by good ones. Accept that things are exactly as they are, and even bad times have something to teach us.
  • Life can be magical, but magic only gets you so far. Then you need discipline, determination and dedication to see it through.
  • Hope can hurt. The danger is that you hope for too much and set yourself up for disappointment. Be optimistic but realistic. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you expect it to be.
  • Be mindful of the link between present action and desired future outcome. Ask yourself: if I repeat today’s actions 365 times, will I be where I want to be in a year?
  • Decision-making: act in faith, not fear, and don’t worry about making a ‘wrong’ decision – the way you implement it is more important than the decision itself.
  • Be your own best friend. The more you rely on other people, the less control you have over your destiny.
  • Be proud of your own obituary: a few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living.


To sum it up, I was inspired by the book in many ways. It gave me one more example of someone who dares to dream big, finds a cause to fight for, and overcomes challenges to become successful in the pursuit of their dream. Roz is a great campaigner for our environment. Way to go Roz!

Here are some sentences in the book that I found very thought provoking:

"My lifelong tendency to rely on others meant that my repertoire of practical skills was sadly limited, and although I suspected that I was capable of more than I imagine, in ordinary life the temptation to take the easy option and ask for help was too much for me to resist.


Whatever you do, put your whole heart into it.


That night, I sat at my desk with two blank sheets of paper in front of me. I had decided to write my own obituary. What might people say about me when I died? Or, more importantly, how would I perceive my life as it was drawing to a close? Would I be proud of the way I'd lived, or full of regrets? I was going to write two versions. The first version would be the obituary that I wanted to have, and the second would be the one I was heading for if I carried on as I was.


What mattered was what I did, not what I owned. 


Life is easier in the storms. My strange ocean existence seemed more tolerable while I had the occasional crisis to divert my thoughts from negative emotions, and keeping myself busy with chores around the boat made me feel I was in control of at least some small aspects of my life. 


Loneliness had not been one of my demons. No, the demons that had plagued my first month on the ocean were feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration.


A large bank balance didn't provide insurance against unhappiness, and wrapping myself in cotton wool was no guarantee against injury. It was better to get out there and live life, and to live it large, than to continue in my supposedly "secure" lifestyle, quietly dying of boredom.


Fear is rarely logical. Nor does fear have any reality - it exists only in the mind. 


It is the odd things that the mind chooses to focus on in a crisis.


For here am I sitting in a tin can far above the world,
Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do.


I have learned a lot, although sometimes I feel I have acquired just enough wisdom to know how much more there is to be learned.


When you stand at the bottom of the mountain and look up at the mountaintop, the path looks hard and stony, and the top is obscured by clouds. But when you reach the top and you look down, you realize that there are a thousand paths that could have brought you to that place.


For we are all on a great adventure--the adventure of life--and even for the majority who will never row across an ocean or climb a great peak or trek to a pole there is much to be learned from living life with mindfulness and awareness."


Roz is currently rowing the Pacific - she has completed 2 stages and will begin her third and final stage in Spring 2010. Looking forward to it :)







Wednesday, November 25, 2009

2009 Birthday



Last Wednesday (18th November) was my birthday. 


Birthdays are very special to me. Not just mine, but everyone's. And I love it if I can make someone feel special on their birthday. I try my best to give unique or handmade gifts, write something original, arrange a surprise party, or plan a nice getaway for my family and friends on their birthdays.


For my birthday, I always like to celebrate it with my family and loved ones. Since the last 10 years, I have been away from home. So my friends here in the US have ensured that they make me feel special. The last couple years my hubby has done his part to make me feel loved on this day :)


This year, I had my sister with me on my birthday (after 10 years). The above picture you see is my Birthday Cake home-made by my sister....Vanilla + chocolate cake with strawberry filling, layered with an orange zest flavored mousse, topped with kiwis, strawberries and Ghirardelli dark chocolate shavings :) YUMM-OOOO!!!! She is an extremely talented chef and I am enjoying the luxury of her cooking as well as spending some quality time these days with her, after a gap of more than 13 years.


My birthday actually started on the 17th itself, with loads of phone calls from family outside of the US. The first person to wish me this year was my dearest+nearest bapuji (dad's elder brother in India). I love him and adore him so so much! 


Every year, I have a small group of close friends at work who take me out for my birthday lunch. This year was no different. Arvind, Saikat, Shubh and Jay took me to Mimis cafe for a wonderful lunch....even though this restaurant is girly and was filled with ladies over the age of 60, they didn't mind coz I wanted to go there :) Thank you and love you guys!


In the evening, my sister made a pasta baked dish for dinner, and a few close friends (some of them are also neighbors) came home for the cake cutting and dinner/snack. Since it was a Wednesday (middle of the work week), I did not do much post-dinner and slept early.


Throughout the day at work, I got tons of phone calls, emails, facebook/orkut messages and texts. I really really felt happy and blessed and LOVED - so many people remembered my birthday and wished me, and they do so every single year. Thank you everyone!


I hope next year I can celebrate my birthday with my parents and bapuji. It would be wonderful to be with them in India, and celebrate my birthday as well as Diwali/New Year at home.




Thursday, November 12, 2009

Africa se leke America.....

Today, as I write this.....

Dad is in Zimbabwe, Africa.

Mom is in Gujarat, India, Asia.

I am in California, USA, North America.

Three of us in Three different continents.....its sooper cool and sooper uncool at the same time.

Miss you ma-pa!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Weekend getaway to LA/San Diego

The third year in a row that I would be celebrating my sister's birthday (8th Nov) in LA....and the second year celebrating her fiance's (10th Nov) birthday with her.....

It all started with booking "expensive" tickets for the Lion King Show - yeahhhh, finally I was going to see it live on Broadway....

And then the fight to get a free rental car for the weekend from Hertz.....

One of the few trips where I packed an hour before leaving....

The crappiest rental car (Ford Focus) ever....

The beautiful drive to LA with the sun doing its magic on the mountains and the fields....

Leaf Organics being closed at 8pm instead of 9pm (as listed on their webpage)....warranting for change in dinner plans......

Fantastic dinner with Rohit, Sejal, Anish, Dharam n Hubby at CPK ....soup and tostada pizza yumm-O!

Followed by a "like it" coffee+dark chocolate Coldstone  icecream topped with toasted almonds....mmmmmmm!

Meeting Nikesh (Anish's roommate) for the first time, hours before his India trip....and having a very interesting conversation on whether he should get married, get engaged, do both or niether :)

Lunch at Fresh Paradise - Fresh squeezed sugarcane juice with ginger and lemon, dosa, chhole, pav bhaji, and grilled sandwiches!

The awesome drive to San Diego in the carpool lane - again with the sun rays playing their magic on the Pacific.....

The cloudy but fantastic sunset at Del Mar beach .....while watching the surfers riding out the last waves of the day......

The Lion King  show - live on Broadway San Diego...it was truly a delight to watch all the brilliant performances....and the orchestra was sooperb!

The drive back to LA with "Happy Birthday To You" songs for Dharam at midnite :)

Buying the lucky bamboo in a cute elephant pot from Ralphs....

The Gujju Thali awesome-amazing lunch at Rajdhani  in Artesia.....

The most peaceful and relaxing drive back from LA to Folsom....read a book for most of the time along with soothing music. Hubby treated me royally by driving the entire 400 miles himself :)

All in all, a great break from the routine life, mouth-watering food, and wonderful memories of fun with family!!!!

Here's a picture of my hubby, me, my sister and her fiance in LA!




Happy Birthday Dharam and Anish! Here's wishing you guys a great year ahead!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Trivia from National Geographic

I read these today in National Geographic and the answers were surprising....worth sharing with all of you.

1. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung.
Ans: True. The left lung is a little smaller because there needs to be room for your heart.

2. Relative to size, the strongest muscle in your body is your big toe.
Ans: False. It's your tongue.

3. Your brain generates more electrical impulses in a single day than all of the world's telephones put together.
Ans: True - Imagine that.

4. An average human scalp has a million hairs.
Ans: False. But the average scalp does have 100,000 hairs.

5. Every square inch of the human body has an average of 3 million bacteria on it.
Ans: False. Would you believe the real number is 32 million?

So how many did you guess correctly?

Friday, October 30, 2009

Getting back in touch with my aunt....

I was a student back then.

I was very new to the country (US), and was still adjusting to being in a new country all by myself. I was very motivated and determined to pursue my MS and get a job in the silicon industry. I didn't realize I was such a strong person from within until the time I came to the US. You see, I always had my mom with me.

But she was the one who pushed me to go for higher studies. And so I did. She still does....she wants me to get an MBA - don't know whether it will happen or not.....

Those days were difficult. I was lucky and blessed in a lot of ways. I found an on-campus job with a management professor (Dr. Patricia Cheshier) as her grader cum assistant right away. She was very kind to me. It was an easy job that paid me well ($8 an hour, I think). It also gave me access to the Management building keys, her office keys, and access to a computer with an internet and printer 24x7. It is a luxury to have all this, let me tell you.

That was my first year in the US. Year 2000. During that time, every few months, I would get a package from India. It would either be a letter, or a card, or some goodies, etc. My family would always send it by registered mail, which means my signature would be required for the delivery.

I would always miss the package when the postman came to deliver it at home, coz I would be in school all day. So on Saturday morning, I would take the bus from school to the intersection on Arden n Howe Avenue, from where I would walk about 2 miles to the post office to pick up my package.

On one such Saturday, during my walk to the post office, I saw an Indian restaurant named "Taj Mahal". While walking back, I was hungry and decided to have lunch there.

That's where I met my Jayshree aunty. She owned and ran the restaurant, along with her husband. She is one of the most caring individuals I have met here in the US. Till this day, she cares for me as her daughter. It was as if I found a mom here in the US. We clicked instantly - she was from Ahmedabad - used to live in the same area as I did....and we had a ton of things in common. Both her and her husband (Narendra uncle) welcomed me whole heartedly into their life.

During the 3 years that we spent together in Sacramento, we had a blast. We used to meet almost every other day, taking care of each other in every possible way. We went out for dinners, movies, watched football, had cookouts, hosted their family, went out on trips together (I remember our Hwy1 trip from Monterey to Mexico), and so much more. She cared for me when I was sick, and she cooked for me regularly. I never missed out on home cooked meals while she was here.

She needed help at the restaurant, and a desperate day off. So I introduced her to some of my college friends, who started working at her restaurant during evenings and weekends. They made some quick cash to help them with their expenses, and aunty got the much needed time off due to their help.

But then they decided to move out of town. They closed the restaurant and first moved to Fairfield, and then to Vallejo (about a couple hours away from where I live). They still live there. We could not meet often after they moved out. Also, I was single at the time they were here. I got married, and we both got busy with our lives.

We used to meet every couple months, but it was not the same anymore. I hate it when this happens - you adjust to a routine, and then it has to change. However, we still kept in touch.

Since last year, I lost touch with her. I tried to call her few times, but could not connect. I did not have her new cell phone number and she never picked up the home phone.

She finally called me today morning, and I spoke to her for an hour. She found out that I bought a home through a common friend, and decided to call me right away. I have no complaints from her as to why she lost touch.

We just picked up from where we left, and I'm sure we will meet soon, now that I have her new cell number to bug her :)

I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with her. It brought back so many happy memories of the great times we spent together.

It was a great start to my Happy Friday.....Wish you guys the same :)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Diwali and New Year 2009

Here's wishing all my readers a VERY HAPPY DIWALI.

I also wish each one of you a very happy and prosperous New Year.

Most of you don't celebrate New Year at this time of the year. But where I come from, the state of Gujarat in India, we celebrate New Year on the first day of the month of Kartak according to the lunar calendar, which is typically the day after Diwali.

Growing up in India, New Year was all about wearing new clothes, visiting family, bowing down to elders to get their blessings and receiving gifts (mostly cash ;). Since I never worked while I was in India (except for the 3 months after my BE graduation), I always use to joke with Dad saying - "New Year is the day where I make the most money ;) :)".

It's been 10 years that I have been away from home now. This was the 10th year in a row that I spent Diwali and New Year away from my parents. I am going to try my best to be with them next year. Festivals have much more meaning when elders are around. Without them, I am kind of lost and spend all my time in social gatherings and outings.

Having said that, this year we celebrated our first Diwali and New Year in our new home. It was SPECIAL!!!! My sister is staying with me, so it was her, my hubby and me. We did not do anything fancy, but we did many little things that are memorable - I will cherish them for a long time to come :).



We bought Xmas lights, and even though we didn't have a 8-ft ladder to hang the lights from the roof, we managed to arrange them in a decent manner with my friend Andy's help, as you can see in the picture above. On Diwali day, my hubby lighted diyas and candles outside as well as inside the house.

The morning on Diwali was spent in making phone calls to family spread around the world - India, UK, Middle East, US, etc. Then my dear friend Prateek drove over from San Jose to surprise us....he bought a new car earlier that week, and wanted to show it to us, and also spend some time with me at my home, since it was my first Diwali in the new house. We had a great few hours with him, after which my friend Ekta came home to visit me from San Francisco. I went with her for garba at my college that night, and met so many college friends that I had not connected with in a long time.

Sunday we had arranged for a potluck at our place. I woke up early and spent time cleaning the house, and after my sister woke up, we started preparing the food (ras malai's for dessert :)). My sister had marinated all the veggies the previous night, and we were going to BBQ them on our brand new grill that was gifted to us at the housewarming.

The BBQ was a blast. We BBQ'ed paneer, bell peppers of different colours, onions, pineapple and corn. It was yum yum yum :). The rest of the potluck items was okay. I was little disappointed with the quantity of food that "some" people brought, but we managed it fine.

Since we are on the topic, I want to share my frustration w.r.t potlucks. There are few people who almost always show up with less food. Or some with no food. I actually don't like potlucks at all. I rather cook everything and treat my friends to a good meal, than deal with this kind of frustration. But since I work and don't have so much time to cook for everyone always, this works out good.

How do you tell these people (who are friends) to bring enough quantity? It is easy for me to ask each of my friends to bring something, and so I don't have an issue where someone shows up with nothing now, but I still find it hard to ask a person to bring more quantity. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Ofcourse one option is to avoid inviting such people, but its not always possible.

Anyway, after the lunch, we all played cards for a while, and then my friends had tea, and left. The sky was cloudy and we saw a rainbow from our backyard.

We spent the evening doing Satsang for an hour, and watching some telly.

I will remember doing the lights outside our home, also the look of the house with lights n diyas, Prateek's surprise visit and driving his new car, garba with Ekta, the first BBQ in our backyard, and the relaxing evening Satsang with my sister and hubby. And I will remember all the blessings and good wishes from my family and friends who I spoke over the phone.

I had a great festive weekend, and hope you did too!