A Friday morning well spent....

“Sail beyond the horizon; fly higher than you ever thought possible; magnify your existence by helping others; be kind to people and animals of all shapes and sizes; be true to what you value most; shine your light on the world; and be the person you were born to be.” -  Blake Beattie

The husband is on bonding leave. Mum n dad are also around for another week, and that means I could afford to take some time to do volunteering. There is a women's empowerment center in downtown that takes homeless women and empowers them with basic skills (through sessions that last 8 weeks) and helps them find jobs. They start earning and can at least afford shared housing of some sort. Some of these women have kids, who are taken care of at the onsite daycare. During the course of the session, temporary housing is provided, along with loads of other perks. Our company sponsors the computer lab, and every week, on technology day, a few volunteers go to teach these women basic computer skills.

I wanted to volunteer here for quite some time, since I first found out about this center. But its requires more than half a day of commitment, and with pregnancy or breastfeeding full time, I could not find the 6 hours that it required. But last Friday, I went. And I'm so glad I did.

The session for last week was to teach them how to write a professional letter - it could be asking for a letter of recommendation, applying for housing, applying for some grant, etc. The second part of the session was to help them export their resume from a software that the center uses to Microsoft word and help them scrub it.

The class started with attendance, introductions, and some women sharing their life stories. Some were alcoholics, some were drug addicts, some were abandoned by family, some were abused by their partners. It was heartbreaking to listen to their stories. Some shared how they are finding courage and inspiration to move on. One of the students was absent, but she sent a beautiful poem on how to stay positive and keep moving forward to the class. She had gone to Vegas to attend one of the trade shows to launch her swim line (and I wish her all the success in her endeavor).

Once we were in the computer lab, we were focused on learning. The women were all so grateful for our presence and guidance. Small things like showing them how to change the template, doing a spell check, formatting tips in word, doing print preview, etc were met with amazement.

One lady was very slow in typing up the sample letter in the assignment we had given them. I sat down with her, and patiently walked her through all the steps and helped her finish. At the end, she told me this: "Thank you for being there for me today. I was having a rough morning but your patience calmed me down. This might look very simple to you but it's not for me. {she showed me her resume and said} - see, I can do things that you may find difficult. Each one of us have special skills. I am grateful that you did not put me down while showing me simple things in Word. Thank you for your time."

Need I say any more?

My Friday morning was truly well spent.

Update:
So I went for volunteering one more time. The same lady, Bridgette, who said the words above, broke down into tears while doing the assignment for that day (Internet search) and ran to the bathroom sobbing. I followed the protocol and alerted her social advisor, who asked me to go and talk to her. So I met her in the women's restroom and asked her if I said something which hurt her. She said, "No not at all. I just feel very bad that I have to ask for help at every step of the assignment. I feel I know nothing". And then I gave her a few examples on why she should not feel that way. One was of my parents....they knew nothing about computers when I moved to the US. Slowly, but steadily, they became computer savvy, and both mom n dad can now make a FaceTime call to me to video chat. It's the most amazing invention ever....and I'm glad they learnt how to do it. I re-iterated the fact that Intel volunteers were there to hold their hand and guide them through this program, and also that the more questions a person asks, the better his (or her) understanding is of the task given.

I'm glad I was successful in driving my point across to her. And also helping her calm down, and bring a smile to her face. I got a warm hug from her, and by the end of our conversation, had 4 other ladies around us who provided their support to Bridgette too.

Again, another Friday morning well spent, truly making a small difference in someone's life.

Turning TH-REEEEEEEE!

Even though I specifically told her not to, my daughter turned three last week ;) 

And what a year it has been - Terrific and Tough! At least the tough part - the terrible two's - are now behind us. Let's see what the three's have in store for us :)!

To my daughter.....

Your year started off with mumma being heavily pregnant and anxious about the baby. We did not know whether it was a boy or girl, and the doctor had said that the baby would arrive early, but the little one was very comfy in his mumma's tummy and arrived past his due date. I had an amazing birth experience, and was delighted to have a son to pamper. And you became a BIG sister!

But you, my betu, hated him. You probably still do. Although, my personal opinion is that you LOVE him a lot more than you hate him. You had a rough time accepting his presence in our lives in the beginning, but in the last 11 months, you have come a long long way. You are now very possessive about him, and you explicitly tell guests that you don't want to share him with them. 

It's a different story that you will share your toys with every other kid but your brother; but when you wake up, you look forward to playing with him; when you sleep, you hug him and kiss him; when we go out, you want to push his stroller; when he wants to snack, you want to feed him; when you take a bath, you want to bathe with him. I love how protective you are of him. I love how excited you get when I tell him that very soon, he will be walking and talking. You can't wait to go on walks with him, and sing loudly with him. Its a blessing to see you transform into a caring big sister role. 

Growing up together - you two will have your fights, moments of jealousy and competition, antics to garner more attention, and what not, but I hope, deep down in your hearts, you always value and cherish the sense of belonging and love for each other.

Personality wise, dear deeku, I'm in awe of you. Really. You had the TIME of your life in India. I was so nervous about managing you and your brother full time, but you took to India - its life, its culture, its people, its food, its weather - like a fish takes to water. I loved watching you living the life I once lived as a child.  

You've reminded us pretty much every single day, why the terrible two's are called so. You are very defiant, or as I read somewhere, defiant with a smirk. You constantly test our boundaries. You know when you are wrong, but still keep pushing your limits. Being exceptionally smart, vocal and independent, you get your way most of the times. 

While potty training you was very easy for us, we continue to have difficulty when you want to assert independence at every step of the potty process. Even when you know you can't reach the basin to wash your hands, you want to do it 'byself'. If you don't get all the soap off your hand and I try to help you, you throw a fit. Sometimes you want to flush yourself, sometimes you want me to do it. You are like this highly volatile volcano who can erupt anytime, and even after eruption, continue to blow out ash and fumes into the atmosphere. 

We see this behavior in pretty much all aspects of your life. With your brother, at times, you are the most loving sister on earth. In a matter of seconds, you hit him. There are days when you wait for the moon to be seen and keep staring at it in peace, and other days, you are terrified of the moon having monsters and ask me to close all the blinds in the house.

Feeding you continues to be challenging. And knowing you so far, I think it will be an ongoing battle with you. You find eating as a boring and time-wasting exercise. The same goes for sleep. It's boring for you....you say you will lose sooooooo much time if you nap. The sun will go away and it will be dark. I can empathize - if I'm reading a book I'm hooked to, and I'm asked to suddenly stop and sleep, I would feel the same way too. For you, every moment, every day, is happening. So meals and sleep are boring for you.

On a few occasions, I've been overwhelmed with your behavior, and have yelled at you, or given you a timeout, or, rarely, have slapped you. But most of the times, I feel you are just asking me to uncover more and more layers of patience, and unique ways to discipline you in a gentle manner.

I can already see you developing empathy, which is profound. When I tell you that I missed you, you cup my face between your palms, and kiss me on both cheeks. You tell me not to worry and that you are the cutest thing on earth. When I drop you at school and tell you that I will pick you up in the afternoon, you say you will miss me, and you will be waiting for me. You LOVE hugs, cuddles, sleeping cozy-cozy with me all night, and being mushy with me. I'm your favorite person in the house, and you have no idea how precious I feel about that!

You are a total chatterbox. You start yapping from the second you wake up, and continue until you go to bed at night. Whether its singing bollywood songs or rhymes , whether its talking about our travels or what we did during the day, whether its describing your day at school, or whether its telling us "hey I have idea" - every person in the house has this silent smile on their face when you are talking. You come across as a very charming personality when you talk. People who talk a lot whine a lot too, but let's just erase that from our memory.

Your cognitive skills are strong - you can quickly solve puzzles, use blocks of various kinds to build things, remember store names & directions, names of people, lyrics of songs, shapes, colors, letters, numbers, play board games, play dress up, form shapes from things on the street, observe objects and shapes in the cloud formations, do puppet shows, and a whole lot more. My job is to nurture these gifted strengths of yours, and I hope I do a good job of that.

You like to leave your curls loose, and hate any kind of hair accessory. You love your hairdresser Jennie, and never say NO to a haircut. I see myself in you, as I had boy cut hair all the way until 10th grade or so. You are very particular about your clothes, your water bottles, your lunch bag, your snacks, etc. - you know exactly what you like and what you don't. 

You LOVE reading books. We have 1000+ books in the house now, and whenever I have to calm you down, I ask you to choose a book and sit down with you to read it. I am looking forward to watching you read by yourself in the next few years - it will be an awesome sight! 

You LOVE singing and dancing and bouncing/jumping. Your favorite song to dance is 'dholi taaro dhol baaje' right now. We went for Garba three times last year, and during the last outing, you were hooked to the music and the dancing. You danced non-stop for more than an hour, and even at midnight, you cried when we drove back home. I can't wait to take you this year....it's some I'm very passionate about and enjoy a lot, and what could be better than dancing to garba songs with your daughter?

You have an infectious smile. You love to laugh, and being goofy. You always crack jokes about farting and poop. You make fun of your brother who still wears diapers. I hope you always retain your great sense of humor, which, combined with your laughter, is absolutely magical. 

We have traveled quite a bit during this year. We went to San Diego and took you to SeaWorld. We've been to the beach several times. We spent 3+ months in India. We toured San Francisco and visited the Eastern Sierras. We made our yearly pilgrimage to Yosemite. And we took you to Disneyland on your 3rd birthday. You love flights, trains, boats, car rides.....it is much easier now to keep you busy and entertained during our travels. At new places, you often stop and observe the surroundings - the shells at the beach, the flowers at the garden, the birds, the rain, the waves. I hope your remain forever curious of the world around you.

I don't have much advice for you, except to ask you to be 'just' the way you are. To be kind and compassionate. To respect others and also stand up for yourself. To be unique. To be creative. To have moments of quiet and peace every day. To be content.

Quoting from "The Help" - always remember this betu - "You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You is strong."

And quoting Dr. Seuss, your favorite author at the moment: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

I'll always be there for you, and will love you unconditionally. 

Happy Happy Happy birthday, betu! 

Love, 

Ma