Conversations with an 8-year old

So my sister-in-law is visiting us from London, UK with her 2 kids - a son who is 13 and a daughter who is 8 years old. Today, my hubby n I had to step out for some time in the evening to run errands, and we took our 8-year old niece N with us.

I love being with kids....pretty much any age. I consider my time very well spent when I am with them, because I always learn something new and I always find something to be happy about, something to laugh on, from the conversations. Today was no different.

One of the most touching things N said today was: "I want this to be Ruhi's best birthday ever". She is in love with my daughter, kisses her zillion times a day, wants to hold her, hug her, feed her, bathe her - she showers all the love she has on the little one. I cannot express in words how good it makes me feel. She has prepared a surprise tap dance for Ruhi's birthday party and I can't wait to see her perform. She wants me to give her measurements of the room where the party will be held, so that she can make all the decorations at home by hand. She has been asking me about Ruhi's favorite toy, favorite spot in the house, etc etc and I am sure something cool is cooking in her mind from the answers she is getting.

We asked her if she would like to take Ruhi with her back to UK. She said it would be the best thing ever to happen to her :). We asked our nephew too, and he also said yes, but he was like it would be better if Ruhi was a boy :). He wanted a baby brother as his sibling but got a sister instead :).

N found a piano book from Ruhi's pile of toys and books, and she started playing nursery rhymes for Ruhi. She is so innocent and selfless. I wonder why we can't be like this all our life. There is so much purity in the way the kids live their life.

As soon as both the kids arrived at home yesterday, they gifted her with a set of gold bangles. Both of them took a bangle each, and made Ruhi wear it. My daughter is so lucky and blessed to have cousins like these.

I asked N what she would like to be when she grows up, and she said she wants to be an optician. She said she loves to look into people's eyes.....paused for a bit....and then said eyes are wonderful and I would like to look after everyone's eyes. I find her thinking so profound.

When I asked her what movies and music she likes, she responded in a detailed manner. And when she was done, she asked me what movies I liked and why. I find her so sensitive at such a young age....all the time while talking to her I kept imagining how wonderful it will be when Ruhi grows up and talks to me like N is doing right now.

They will be gone tomorrow for 3 days to visit Yosemite and San Francisco, and I am already starting to miss them, and want them to be back soon......

Alaska Musings Post #3 Denali

Denali means "The Great One" or "The Tall One" in Athabascan....it is the name of the National Park which has the highest mountain peak in North America - Mt. McKinley, which the natives like to call as "Denali". Personally, I would prefer to call it Mt. Denali as well....

We took a flight tour over the National Park and landed on a glacier - I think it was the best experience so far of my Alaskan trip. The Alaskan mountain range is spectacular, and getting to see it from such a close distance was just amazing. The great gorge, the glaciers, the valleys - it's fascinating to get to see the rugged wilderness so close. And then landing on a glacier - out of this world! I kept firing my camera and took as many shots as my lens would allow....so I will have lots of photos to share once I get back, but here is one for now.

The mountain itself was covered with clouds, so we did not get a perfect view of it on the day of our flight, but then we saw it all day in Talkeetna from our BnB, so I was not disappointed at all.

We then drove to Denali National Park and checked into our lodge for our last stay. The location was again fantastic....the lodge was on the banks of Nenana river, and had great views of the mountains. It also had very good trails along the river which were easily accessible, and a great visitor center plus gift shop. We took an 8-hour bus tour into the National Park up to Eielson Visitor Center.

There is no food or water available inside the park, and no private vehicles are allowed. There are also no paved roads, only a dirt road on which these buses travel. It is 6 million acres of pure wilderness, and as our bus driver Wayne told us...this is a place where we put people in a cage (bus) and take them around to visit the animals....(the zoo is the other way around).

The entire area is spectacular....pristine....picture perfect....a slice of heaven. It is so quiet...my baby slept for more than 5 hours on the bus trip, so it gave me much needed time to ponder and reflect, which was nutrition for my soul :). We saw bears (one right outside our bus), gall sheep, caribou, moose, lynx, arctic squirrel, along with the tundra and the mountain range. The wind was blowing hard (we saw a fallen tree on the road on our way back), and it got chilly at times. The clouds were hovering over Mt. McKinley, but they cleared only for a few minutes while we were at the Eielson visitor center to give us a picture perfect view. Traveling through the park was like quiet rolling meditation.....it gave me so much peace from within.

It certainly reminded me of the movie - "Into the Wild" which was shot in Alaska. There is a rustic cabin inside the park, called Artist-in-Residence cabin, where artists are allowed to stay up to 2 weeks in wilderness and pursue their art (see picture below). Their work is then displayed at the Eielson visitor center. I saw some works on display which were stunning.

It started raining today (at times it rained heavily) on our drive back to Anchorage....and we just felt grateful to be blessed with awesome sunny n warm weather throughout our stay. This trip was a small token of gratitude to my parents for having helped us take care of our daughter through her precious first year of life, and I feel so happy to be able to give this experience to them. I asked them today how they felt and whether they enjoyed, and they are WOW'ed. This was easily the best trip of their lifetime in terms of exploring nature at its best.

I did not do much hiking or camping or backpacking. But just to be able to pull off such a trip with an infant and retired parents was difficult. I hope to come back again some day, when my daughter is old enough to hike and camp with me :).

Alaska Musings Post #2 Whittier, Seward and Talkeetna

So the last three days have been no-words-can-describe-them kind of days. Surreal. Amazing. Picture perfect. Heavenly.

We took 2 cruises - a 26-glacier cruise out of Port Whittier, and a whale watching cruise out of Seward. We were greeted with gorgeous 70F sunny warm days, with partly cloudy skies, which was unusual for this region, but perfect for our cruises. The picture below is of Surprise glacier on one of our cruises.

We also checked in at our first bed and breakfast for this trip, and it's perfect n cozy for our little family, with so much attention to detail by the owners. The patio deck overlooks a glacier, the mountains and the Resurrection bay....we are really enjoying our stay :). 

We also hiked to the edge of Exit Glacier in the Kenai Fjords National Park, and saw clear views of Mt. McKinley on our drive from Seward to Talkeetna. At Talkeetna, our second bed and breakfast had this view greeting us from our patio....what you see is Mt. McKinley at 20000+ feet, North America's highest mountain peak. It's rare to be able to see this view, coz the peak is usually covered with clouds all year round.

So here are my musings from the last three days:

- My daughter hugging me tight, and falling asleep while laying down on me – in the car, on the boat, on a hike, at the hotel…..just priceless. I totally don’t mind traveling with her, she is such pure joy to be with!

- A mix of clouds, occasional drizzle, patches of sunshine, water, mountains, glaciers, rail road running parallel to the highway - this makes a deadly combination. During these drives in Alaska, I went to happy places in my head that I don't get to visit often while living my routine mundane life. 

- Glaciers - there's nothing quite like it....you gotta see some once in your lifetime.

- Calving sound of the glaciers - Thrilling!

- Sea otters - my new favorite sea animals. They don't have an ounce of fat on their body, they swim on their backs (the cutest sight to watch), their fur is so thick and warm, and they live in the water all year long. 

- The spout of a 50 ton humpback whale – something you don’t want to miss.

- The town of Seward – so cute :). No street lights, and a population of only 3000. Tsunami evacuation route signs posted on most streets. The harbor is full of boats, and the Resurrection Bay that the town overlooks is fantastic. So many birds and ocean wildlife. It drizzles often, which our BnB owner calls “It’s Sewarding outside” :).

- The Kenai Fjords National Park – we could only visit the Exit Glacier via a short but strenuous hike, however, I would love to come back one day and do some more exploring around here. We spotted a moose (female) crossing the road. This was our second moose spotting (a male one being at Kincaid Park in Anchorage). Few visitors spotted a black bear but we didn’t.

- The view of Mt. Mckinley on the drive to Talkeetna and from the patio of our BnB – Splendid and Gorgeous!

Alaska is HUGE…..so you can keep coming back here and do new activities and visit new places. After California, this place will remain close to my heart for many years to come…..

Alaska Musings Post #1 Anchorage

I wanted to journal a few things during my current Alaska trip on the blog here....I will write up a detailed post on my trip after it's done.

- I am now used to flights getting delayed. But my family is not....which causes lot of stress for me.

- Handling the baby at the airport and during the flight was "okay", except for the part where she kept pulling the hair of the lady in front for her. She did this with 3 different ladies - one at airport, one on our first connection, and one during our second connection :). We got lucky to encounter "gentlewomen".....and I sure hope the trend continues ;)

- We checked the weather a few times before we left - forecast was for rain, and max temp of low 60's throughout our stay, so we packed accordingly. Today, it did not rain even once, and the temperature reached 79F. The baby is sleeping in a onesie, albeit it's a full sleeve so she has rolled up the sleeves. If this continues, we will be buying a lot of souvenirs in the form of clothing ;).

- Costco in Anchorage has fresh made Gelato - too bad the line was so long that I could not try it out. As always, Costco rocks....found everything I needed and then some.

- I asked the lady at the hotel reception desk about things to do in Anchorage. She said "We have a mall" and that's pretty much it. Duh, did I pay so much and lug all this baggage here to go to the mall? I asked another guy who looked like a helper about "Portage Glacier" which is like an hour away from downtown Anchorage. He said he's never been there - he looked like he was atleast 60yrs old, if not older. I was not surprised by his answer though, coz I have heard this from other people at many different destinations. I guess we are blessed and privileged to be able to travel. 

- The sun does not set here until midnight....and then rises back again in 2-3 hours....it's pretty cool to experience this. As I type this, it's 12.45am and it's still bright outside :). One of these days I will go for a walk at midnight, or later :).

- We visited 2 places today - the Alaska Native Heritage Center, and Kincaid Park. Both were great...we hiked about 5-6 miles at the park, and spotted a moose. We also saw views of the Alaskan mountain range, and the cook inlet. The park has an area for disc golfing, which was a new game I saw being played today. At the heritage center, we learnt about the native tribes and the homes they lived in, and the kind of life they lived (or still live). It was fascinating!
- The greenery around here and the flowers are something which I love. It's soothing to my eyes!

Giving time in relationships....

"Giving time in any relationship demonstrates our love far more powerfully than anything else" - Shachi Thakkar

Relationships are so important to each one of us. Whether its with our parents, siblings, spouse, children, neighbors, cousins, colleagues or friends.....we thrive and feel alive because of these relationships.

I have experienced a few delights and a few setbacks recently with some of my relationships. As I carefully analyzed my setbacks, I realized that giving time in any relationship is the most important ingredient. You can say you love and care a lot, but if you are never there during the time of need, then it's not good.

When you give time, the other person automatically feels loved and cared for. The sense of belonging naturally comes. When you give time and listen, the other person opens up. (S)he shares their fears, insecurities, worries, etc with you in a candid manner. It is very healthy for both parties. The person sharing is relieved of stress and feels unloaded n lighter (emotionally and mentally), whereas the person listening feels great to have been able to provide the listening ear and support. Time given in any relationship strengthens the bond between two people like nothing else does.

When only one person keeps giving the time and the other person does not reciprocate, the relationship is not healthy. You can give the benefit of doubt until a certain point, but in the long run, you are sure to get hurt. It is best if this is addressed by having a conversation early on, coz when you keep tolerating it, you go through unwanted heartache and disappointment, and keep getting hurt. Arguments and conflicts arise because the person who is hurt tries their level best to make the situation better. Honesty and transparency is also another important ingredient. If you are not giving time to a relationship because of a genuine reason, then be transparent and let the other person know. On the other hand, if you are not getting enough time, then request the other person to stop playing games and tell you the truth. If it doesn't happen, take a step back, or walk away...whatever suits you best.

I have come across many people who portray that they care a lot for me, but when I actually call them during a crisis situation, they do not reciprocate. Most people I find are truly fake. I don't know what they get by being this way, but that's how they are. Genuine people are very hard to come by. So hold on to them no matter what.

Most people I also find do not want to give the time to listen. They hear, but don't listen. They find it a waste of their time. They do expect me to listen when they need it, but are hesitant to reciprocate. I find such people selfish, and keep them away as well.

I have found genuine people through the blog world, and even though I have never met them, I can feel a connection. I know I can open up to them if need be. It may not substitute the feeling you get when the person is sitting next to you, however, just the thought that they are there to listen to you when you need it is comforting.

Between your spouse and you, giving time is the most essential element. Talk and share as much as possible. Be there for each other as much as possible. Express your feelings as much as possible. Be yourself, and be authentic. And be tolerant of the other persons nuances. It will go a long way.

With kids, no matter how much time you give, it will never be enough. So, give as much time as you have to them. Reduce your TV time, internet browsing time, social networking time.....cut down on other things as much as possible, and spend time with your child/children. Especially in the younger years, the bond that you will create with them will make a lifetime impact on your relationship with your child. Invest heavily and maximum in this relationship, more than any other.

With parents, as they grow older, I find that they have so much to talk, and no one to listen. So sit down periodically with them, or call them if they are living away from them, and just chat. Ask them about their daily routine. Nudge them to go for walks. Ask them to read books, and go on trips. Be sensitive to how they would be feeling with aging, and the thought of death.....and be comforting. Hug them often....they are the ones who get the least hugs. Give them massages if possible. Take them out with you when you travel. Remember, they spent the cream years of their life looking after you and providing you with a good education so that you can live a good life....so give back in return. Again, nothing that you do can beat the value that time can provide.

Always bond the closest with your siblings.....above or at par with any other cousins or friends. When everyone turns away, they will be there for you. When parents are no more, they will be there for you. I am blessed to have a sister who is extremely close to me, and is my strongest ally and asset. She will be there for me, no matter what!

With friendships, pick and choose the genuine ones. Treasure them. Do not give too much time to acquaintances. Always be there for the ones who truly care for you. There should not be too many people in your inner circle. Because if that is the case, you won't be able to give justice to all of them. You can have many friends, but the close ones are few. Just like other relationships, give them time when it is truly needed. Keep in touch regularly, and don't take them for granted, just because they give you more than 100% in the relationship. Make them feel cared for and loved by expressing it on a regular basis, in some form or the other. Close friendships need more nurturing than family, because it is always easy to toss out a friend from your life than a family member. So the more you nurture it and show that you care, the longer it will last.

Learn to say NO and move away from people who are time and energy sinks. It's just not worth it. Only give time to people who genuinely care for you, who admire your strengths, who help you grow, who inspire you with how they live their life, who support you, who reciprocate, and are honest, transparent and authentic.