Rusham!

The much-awaited surprise has finally arrived! Meet Rusham, my son :)!

Rusham is pronounced as "Ru-shum" - it's a hindu name and it means 'peaceful'. So far, my little man has totally lived up to his name. He brings so much serenity into our lives. All the anxiety and worry that I was experiencing in the past few weeks has disappeared. I love hugging him, kissing him, cuddling him, taking in all his newborn smell, and just gazing at him while he sleeps.... occasionally flashing that dazzling smile which can never be captured by the camera!

Even though I did not know for 9 months whether I was having a son or daughter, it feels I knew him all along. To experience a baby inside of you - moving when you sing or pat your belly, nudging you with his arms and kicking you with his legs, hiccuping, waking up suddenly when you drink something cold or sugary - it's something that is best experienced rather than being described in words. The mother already has a strong relationship established with the baby, even before birth...and it does not matter to her whether she knows the sex of her child or not.

I had a very painful labor - as long as my labor with my daughter - and this time around, with my doula's help, I went through it without epidural. An hour before birth, to help me wait for the doctor coz she was busy delivering another baby, I took a little bit of pain medication which provided relief for about 45 minutes....and by the time its effect wore off, I was ready to push the baby out. It was a day when hospital rooms were full (I was told to wait a couple of hours at home so that I would not have to wait in the hospital lobby) and the OB/GYN was sooper busy. In contrast, when my daughter was born, I was the only patient in the entire maternity ward.

Inspite of the 25+ hours of painful labor, I enjoyed this birth experience thoroughly. I knew what to expect, I was mentally prepared, I had my doula to help me push through, and I had my regular OB/GYN on call that day to deliver my baby. As soon as he was born, they laid him on my chest, and I held on to him (skin-to-skin) for a couple of hours, before they took him to do his first bath and check his vital signs. The moment when you first look at your baby is magical.....it feels out of this world (even though just moments ago all you could think of is the acute pain).

Rusham shares his birthday with my late grandma. She was my only grandparent that was alive since I was born. She lived with us for 20 years. While growing up, I shared my bedroom with her. She passed away a month after I came to the US, and I have nothing but fond and precious memories of all the time I spent with her. It feels special that he chose to arrive on her birthday....whenever I see him, I get reminded of 'baa', who I loved a lot.

So now I have a son, and a daughter - I feel immensely grateful and blessed. All I wish is for my children to be happy and healthy. May my ability to love surpass my desire to be loved. I know that there is no one way to be the perfect mother, but there are infinite ways to be a good one - so may I always be able to offer the best I can to my children.

I hope Ruhi and Rusham grow up to become each other's best friends. I hope they find a sense of belonging and security in each other, and a confidence that their bond is stronger than the rest of the world. I hope they always have this feeling in their heart that if everything else goes away.....we'll still have each other.

As for me, I'm just grateful to be their mom.....I love them both gazillion infinite much!

These days.....

:: I'm a domestic diva. On the cooking front, I've tried out several new recipes. Yesterday, I made Orzo Pasta Salad with cherry tomatoes, olives, fresh basil, peas, corn, toasted pine nuts, and a homemade dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper and Italian seasoning - it was heavenly! I love all the time I'm spending in the kitchen....it relaxes me.

:: On the home front, I've taken care of every single thing from my July to-do list. I've actually done a lot more than what I had listed in the list. A lot of junk has been cleared from the house, and lots of things have been organized. So much that I had thought was misplaced (or lost?) has been found. It makes me a very happy person :).

:: On the personal front, I've started sewing lessons. And, I've managed to read many books in the last month. Nothing too heavy or serious, all light reads - Mitch Albom's For One More Day and Have a Little Faith (both were good), Chicken soup for the Mother's soul (it was a gift and I loved it....perfect timing for me to read it), Mandela's Long Walk to Freedom (close to 70% done), Brooke Burke's The Naked Mom (again a gift, and the first time I attempted to read something by a Hollywood celebrity, but it's surprisingly not trashy - pretty average with good bits of humor - good timing for this one as well), Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers (the statistics made me think why didn't I plan to have my babies in January ;) ), and a couple others that I can't recollect. I have many interesting books in the pipeline, but not sure how much time I will get once the baby is here.

:: I've also been watching loads of US Open Tennis.....with my parents. It brings back many many memories from my childhood as well as the recent past. Today is a super Sunday with the men's semis, women's singles & doubles finals. It was a delight to watch Leander Paes in the men's doubles final - at 40+ yrs, he's still so active on the tennis circuit. In his career so far, he's played with 90 different doubles/mixed doubles partners - it was a 'wow' statistic for me.

:: I took the kiddo to the library for storytime on Friday. We've been trying to keep her home as much as possible, and spending lots of quality time with her. Our library outing was a blast.....storytime had 25+ kids, and I met a couple mommy friends too. I also requested a few books for myself, and I'm hoping they arrive soon (they are on shelf at other libraries in the network so they should arrive early next week).

:: I love it when R says "checkup" for "ketchup". I also love it when she completes the sentences I started, for example: I'll say "You are my" and she say either "Darrrrrrrrrrrrrling" or "Cutie Pie" :)!

:: Hubby and I finally managed to go to the theater after ages (I think it was the first time after R was born) and watch a movie. We went with my sister n hubby and watched "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" - I personally liked the movie....the story was unique, and performances were likeable. I love Jennifer Garner so it was a delight to watch her. Even though the outing was only a couple of hours, I felt so good. Thanks to mom n dad for taking care of the kiddo and giving us a break.

:: I am at an anxious stage....baby is likely going to be overdue, and insensitive people from all over the world are shamelessly continuing to bug me for updates. If there was one, or if the baby was here, wouldn't they know? I'm not someone who does not share openly....especially with close ones. Also, people keep commenting on how big the belly is, or how I am carrying (higher or lower) and whether its going to be a boy or girl.....it did not irk me until now, and I was able to laugh it off (I've dealt with it for 40 wks already), but now it pisses me off. I have nothing personal against any particular person, its just that pretty much anyone I talk to passes some comment or the other, and it has this cumulative effect at the end of the day which is intolerable. This is the time when I expect my community to step up, and this is precisely the time when they are letting me down.

:: Having said the above, personally, I am quite enjoying this calm before the storm. I keep myself busy with either reading or cooking or running errands or doing projects at home. I do my kick counts twice a day, and I keep thinking about baby names and the newborn smell and cuddles that are going to greet me very soon. Many people find the newborn phase very difficult to enjoy (and I won't say it's easy) but I loved that phase with R....partly coz my parents made life easy for me and I was never too overwhelmed with having to do it all myself. I enjoyed all the playtime at night and nursing sessions for over a year....I enjoyed napping with the baby on my chest......I loved having one-way conversations and only getting a smile or ooo-aaa as a response.....I loved baby-wearing.....it's something I already miss and I can't wait to experience it again!

Here's a maternity portrait from our photo shoot last month.....talented Megan (our photographer) makes me look beautiful!

Sewing

I've long dreamt of being able to stitch my own outfits. When I was pregnant with R, I really wanted to learn how to sew so that I could make cute outfits for her. However, it was all too overwhelming the first time around - pregnancy, labor, delivery, the newborn jaundice phase, issues with R's weight gain, getting a handle on nursing, and then trying to find a work-life balance.

The second time around - even though I am busier than before, I am much more relaxed. That helps in finding time to do creative things. Growing up in India, I've always enjoyed shopping fabric for outfits, sarees, home furnishings - and providing input to the tailor on the design/pattern, and seeing what you visualized come to life. When I go back home now, I don't have time to do this leisurely....there is always a rush, and I miss those days when I could take my own sweet time to browse and pick up stuff.

Earlier this week, Mom-Dad and I spent an afternoon at Joann's, browsing and shopping for fabric. We felt like little kids in the store, exploring every section with so much curiosity. We bought a few items, and came back home. I got online, and to my delight, I found a local sewing studio which was offering an introductory sewing class that same evening. I was sooper excited, I called them right away and signed up for the class!

I got there on time, not knowing how my evening would go, whether I would enjoy this experience or not, what would the instructor think of me, etc etc. The instructor - Marj - is a 70+ year old lady, who has taught sewing for years. She instantly reminded me of my grandma, who taught me how to knit and do embroidery while growing up. She was very patient, and had a calming presence. I liked her right away. She helped me pick the fabric for my first two projects, and we got started (I used a loaner sewing machine as suggested by her. I will try out a couple before deciding which one to buy).

My first project was a fancy pillow-case. We picked three different fabrics - one for the body, one for the border on the top, and another small piece of lining separating the two. It sounds like an easy project, but for a first-timer, it's a perfect one to pick. It pretty much took me the entire class duration to learn how to use the machine and get the pillow cover done. I made some mistakes, which Marj showed me how to fix. I completed the whole thing myself, and was quite proud of it in the end!

When I showed it off at home, mom-dad-hubby were impressed too :)!

For my second project, we picked a lovely blue+pink flowery print fabric for a wrap-around dress for R. I have studied the pattern, but I ran out of time to start cutting. I hope to finish it during the next class.....whenever that happens!

I have a few projects on my mind already: dresses for R, onesie/bib for baby, Hawaiian shirt for dad and hubby (we bought the fabric already), a skirt for my sister, an apron for mom, etc.

I'm excited to get my sewing journey started!!!!