Conversationing

An attempt to capture some of our daughter's oh-so-cute-and-fun-conversations:

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R: mumma (or pappa or nana or nani) - wayyyyy aaaaaaaa you?
After finding us: "oh here it is"!

:) :) :) :)!!!!

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R: ooh what's that?
Me: Brushie
R: Ruhi do it
Me: okay! Be careful, don't fall down from the stool...you'll get booboo...
R: Ruhi put gheeeeeeee, gheeeeeeee  on booboo!

The kiddo loves ghee - eating it, applying it on her lips, smothering it on her booboo's - so she is always waiting for an opportunity to lay her hands on the ghee container - HA!

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R: Ruhi is very angry
Me: why?
R: Ruhi is veryyyyy upset
Me: why?
R: Ruhi is pissed offfffffffffff
Me: why betu? what happened?
R: Ruhi is veryyyyyyy happy {and gives a smiley face} :)!

She says this throughout the day....and has learnt it from me. If she misbehaves, I tell her I'm angry or upset. I don't use pissed off in front of her, but might have said it to someone else a few times and as it goes with every toddler, she picked that up too!

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R: mumma's bum is so big big!
Me: How is Ruhi's bum?

R: Ruhi's bum is so small small!

Me: How about Rusham baby's bum?

R: Rusham baby's bum is veryyyyyyyyyyy small!

She's figured it all out :)!

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R: {playing doctor-doctor} mumma Ruhi check your ears
Me: is there a ladybug in my ear?
R: Nooooooooooo! Ruhi give mumma a shot!
Me: ouch....big booboo...it hurts!
R: soddy mumma soddy....{gives me a kissie on my booboo}....
Me: Thank you Ruhi
R: mumma Ruhi use monitor (for thermometer)
Me: what does it say?
R: Mumma is veryyyy sick! (her pretend-play thermometer has a setting for sick or healthy)
Me: oh oh mumma is sick....Ruhi give medicine!
R: Here it is (she brings an imaginary medicine and a cup of water for me)!

After her recent bout of illness where she got antibiotic injections and had several doctor visits in a row, I bought her a doctor role-play costume set and a supplies kit. She is enjoying it a lot. When she is wearing her coat and we ask her name, she says "Dr. Ruhi  {last_name} " :)!

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Her varied responses when you ask her where she wants to go:

R: Ruhi go hotsipal (for hospital)
R: Ruhi go muzuem :) (for museum)
R: Ruhi go seemeetee park (for Yosemite park)
R: Ruhi go seeming pool (for swimming pool)
R: Ruhi go laabaadee (for Library) - {cutest thing to listen to!}

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She is now tall enough to reach all the switches in the house....and it's a mammoth task trying to ask her not to keep flipping them. All day, you can find her saying:

R: Ruhi ON it
R: Ruhi OFF it
R: Ruhi tain on the light
R: Ruhi tain on the fan
R: Ruhi broke it (if she flips a switch which is not connected to anything and nothing happens)
R: Nana fix it (it seems her nana fixes whatever is broken in the house :))

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Me: Who is gogu?
R: S maamu
Me: Who is gegu?
R: Ruhi
Me: What is Rusham bhailu's new name?
R: bebu

She has come up with gegu and bebu as their funny pet names in the last week. They keep changing though....so not sure how long this will last :)!

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Back to work

So....the paltry 6 weeks of disability leave that the State of California allows me to take is over....and I am back at work today...Boo :(!

I've brooded over this topic many times before, here and with friends in several discussions - but I still have to vent it out one more time today - just 6 weeks of leave - isn't it a joke? And that too, it's classified as disability..not maternity. Even third world countries have better benefits for new moms.

I am barely out of pain.....the baby is so little...dependent on his mother entirely. Thank God for my parents who I know are as devoted as I am to my children for helping us out.

Now I am certainly blessed...and it's my choice to come back to work sooner, and save more time-off for later. But that time off is one that I've accumulated for 2 years....and some of it is because I've been in the workforce for 12+ years, so it's given to me as an added benefit. I have more than 5 months off, which I plan to take in 2013. It just works out better for me that way. I did the same with my daughter and I'm sticking to the formula that worked just fine at that time. Also, I have a choice to quit working and stay at home for some time......a huge factor mentally and emotionally. But I don't feel like quitting....just yet. These are the few months that I have to stick it out.....if I can manage somehow for a couple of years, I know it will get easier, and I will not have a long break in my career...you never know when you will get back into the workforce once you are out.

The daughter has terrible sibling rivalry....she has not accepted the baby yet. It's been rough, if I'm honest. However, each day, there are moments that are fun, and precious. Some days there are no tantrums and I feel on top of the world. Some days are full of tantrums with just a few moments here and there that are worth remembering, so I just choose to focus on those moments and forget the tantrums altogether. It's getting better everyday, and I hope it continues.

The baby is chugging along fine. I'm missing his cuddles and smiles at work today, but I'll make up for it during lunch, in the evening and at night.

Here's a close-up of RnR clicked earlier this week at home - my darlings :)!

A rough night, a beautiful sunrise

The daughter is still very sick. Her fever went down a couple days ago, only to return with full vengeance. Even after filling up her body with drugs, it refused to budge. We were alternating between Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen, dunking her in the bath, putting iced water sponge cloths on her forehead.....and inspite of all this, it took us until 3-4am to finally break it. A rough night for sure...but hey, it's already behind us :)!

One ordeal was over...another one started in the morning. The kiddo was so fed up of taking all these medications orally, that she refused to take the antibiotic. We tried at home, we tried at her daycare, we tried at the doctor's office - no luck anywhere. We had to get the medication in otherwise the fever would return. So we went to the Emergency Room and got her an injection.

She is doing okay as of now....she needs injections for 3 more days to complete the antibiotic course, but thankfully, the fever has not returned. Her appetite was gone but is slowly coming back, and she seems perkier, which is always a good thing :)!

I learnt a lot in the last couple days, while going through this experience....

- We are lucky to have a very patient and empathetic pediatrician for our kids. If not for her, I would have been much more stressful and frustrated in dealing with this episode of illness. She listens, and works with us to provide a solution that we are comfortable with. She used her network to get us to the ER for the injection, and has been proactive in her treatment (so much better than reactive) all throughout.

- Doctor visits are never fun. But our kiddo adores her pediatrician. So its easy for us to convince her to go to her office. Today, I knew that her regular ped was out. While waiting in the room to be examined, the daughter was getting bored. I took a few of those wooden tongue depressors and started making letters and shapes with them. The kiddo loved it so much...she didnt want to leave even after we were done. It's important to be creative when it comes to entertaining a toddler - at the doctor's office or elsewhere!

- The thing in US is - if someone in your house is sick, people stay away from you. They don't visit...they check over the phone or email on your health. Some offer help.....but only a handful really mean it when they do. I find it so odd. My parents were commenting the other day - it's so different in India. People would come over to check on your health, and they dont worry a whole lot about getting infected and stuff. It probably makes sense to keep the kids away from a sick person, but an adult can certainly drop by for a few minutes to visit a sick child. I'm so grateful for our wonderful friend A for keeping our daughter company every evening since she fell sick. He got the infection from her (just like hubby and I) but it's just a common cold for us which we can get over with easily. In times of adversity, you know the true character and values of the people in your life!

- Another thing I recently experienced is - people use me when they have some bad news to share.....or are going through tough times. They know I'm nice, I listen, I empathize, I help. I go online and read about their issue and give them my 2 cents. I keep checking on them often. They get through the tough times....and then when something good happens, they disappear. They come back after weeks, or months, and then share the news. They say it was too personal to share before. WTF???? Totally pisses me off. I feel much more content helping strangers, or volunteering in hospitals, than helping some of these people I know. Seriously, I mean it.

- After the rough night that we had a couple of days ago, I was up in the morning playing with the baby. He always wakes up early, and I get a couple good hours of personal time with him before everyone wakes up in the house. I enjoy this time to the fullest...I feel he is already growing up way too fast. I had left the window shades open, hoping to see the sunrise. And what a wonderful sunrise I was greeted with that morning - it melted all my stress from the night before....it refreshed me, relaxed me, and instantly put me in a great mood to take on another challenging day.

The colors you see above lasted for less than 5 minutes....they were so beautiful! I tried to photograph them the previous morning as well, but before I could call my mum to hold the baby and grab my camera, the sun was up shining brightly....the oranges had turned to yellow, and I had missed my window of opportunity.

- It's been busy....but there are so many sweet moments that make me stop and smile. See this picture from today morning:

She came over and wanted to hold the baby. Look how she has placed her hands to secure him.....she was nervous coz he didn't quite fit in her lap.....and he was wiggly, but I am glad she made the effort!

- The day before the rough night (and before the fever came back), I went for an Autism walk to downtown Sacramento to support my mommy group friend whose daughter was diagnosed with Autism recently, at 18 months old. She's felt so lonely and depressed since her daughter's diagnosis....all other kids in our mommy group are thriving, whereas her daughter is behind on even the basic milestones - I feel for her a lot. A few of us from our mommy group went - and even though we've only known each other for a couple of years now, we can count on each other for anything (literally). I cherish this group of mine and I'm lucky to have found them at a time when I needed it the most!

Team Lucie Rocks!!!!

- Even when she is so sick, the daughter continues to provide much needed entertainment to all of us using her immense imagination and conversational skills (much to learn from her attitude for us adults). She not only has preferences on her outfits, but mine too. So the other day I asked her which pant I should wear after I was done with my shower....and she pointed to a pink one. While I was putting it on, she blurts out: "Mumma's bum is big big" - Thank you kiddo, so very much, for your candidness ;)!

She saw me pumping (expressing) breast milk one day...and since then, she's been fascinated by it. She's always asking me to pump.....she stands next to me and does massage to help more milk come out (it's so cute and funny to see her imitate me)....and once we are done, she immediately wants her naani to put the milk in the baby's green bottle (it's a glass bottle with a green sleeve) and feed him. The smart cookie that she is - she also asks me to pump and give him a bottle when she sees me nursing him (and she wants her turn with mommy right then), or when I tell her that he is hungry and mumma needs to feed him (and she does not want to let mumma go away from her).

She loves saying automatic and pajama/majama (rhyming words in english/gujju) these days. Also, she loves saying "checkup" for "ketchup" and "chicken" for "kitchen". She uses the word "Aah-mazing" liberally which cracks us up all the time.

So yeah...we are all recovering from this bout of illness....hubby has been home all week....it's been fun taking care of each other. And, as usual, these two kiddos rule my life for now......and I let them :)!

So...howz it going :)?

Sorry for the disappearing act from this space....a newborn's entry into the toddler's kingdom has created much-expected chaos and we are struggling to figure out our new normal :)!

Our pretty-much-potty-trained toddler has regressed....badly. As per the expert (her ped), it's one of her ways to steal attention from the baby. But it has caused the maximum amount of disruption in our lives. She is terribly cranky and keeps on screaming all day, all evening. We do whatever we can to help her go potty, but she just does not co-operate. Finally, as of last week, we have figured out a solution to her constipation issues....and sadly, it involves her not using the potty at all. She needs to forget that going to potty is an issue, or that its painful...before we try to train her again.

She is also down this weekend with a bad case of fever - we still don't know if its viral, or strep, or something else. But the fever has not broken yet - its hovering around 102-103F and the little girl is visibly miserable. She is getting all the TLC(= attention) she needs and we are hoping that the virus runs its course by tonight and she has a better (= fever-free or low grade fever) day tomorrow.

My postpartum pain is finally gone. I had a lot of it this time around. After the daughter was born, I was up on my feet after a week or so. With the son, it took almost a month. I'm fine now, but I dealt with many days and nights of almost-unbearable pain. During that time, my only focus was on breastfeeding the baby. Thankfully, that did not get affected...and we have established a good nursing routine for both of us. Milk supply issues have not cropped up yet as well....and that's a relief! When this tiny little human's existence depends entirely on you, its always frightening....

Other than this, it's been fun :). The baby is loved by everyone - even his big sister. She gives him zillions of kisses everyday....she is gentle with him....she loves it when he smiles at her.....she likes watching his diaper changes and massages and baths. She's dealing with a roller-coaster of emotions but she only shows her best side to her little brother...and I'm quite in awe of that!

The baby is simply adorable....a sweet sweet blessing in our lives. I love newborns....even though caring for them is exhausting, the joy they bring is unparalleled! He has started cooing when he sees familiar faces. He adores his big sister and whenever she is nearby and he can hear her voice, he starts smiling and turns his head towards her. He smiles, a LOT - when awake and while asleep - and we all love it. We have started his massage and bathing routine - usually mom massages him and I do the bath.....its simply the most relaxing time of my day.

The baby is already a month old...can you believe it? Time is flying by so quickly. It's been a much different (= better) month this time around than with the daughter. We've had fewer visitors (and for a change, I'm thankful for it).....the people who really care have been there for us, and I'm grateful for that. I am so much more in control of myself (= my emotions) with respect to handling every aspect of a newborn....I had so much anxiety and stress with the daughter. For months, I worried if I was providing her with enough breast milk. This time, I know I am....and I am so relieved about that aspect.

I've found time to host a gathering for my mommy group.....this picture below is of Gen2.0 kids (my mommy group has all kids my daughter's age).....

I've gone for a nice relaxing massage and I'm going for another one this week....

I've taken the daughter for a train ride festival that happened in town recently....

I've already applied for the baby's passport.....(and we are starting to make plans for India...I'm so excited :)).....

I've managed to watch a few movies at home....

I've also managed to finish reading 4 books in the last month....

I make dinner for the family everyday - on the menu today are lettuce wraps with tofu, zucchini, bell pepper, ground peanuts, etc....my time in the kitchen is also one of my favorite and relaxing time of my day....

I've sorted through the many hand-me-down clothes that we got for the baby....and he now has his wardrobe set for pretty much his entire first year of life....(I have awesome friends and neighbors).....

I've enjoyed all my nursing sessions with him - day or night - and I've slept with him on my chest as much as I can.....(it's the BESTEST feeling in the world).....

And we've all spent loads and loads of quality time as a family.....cherishing the sweet blessing of a new baby in our lives....

So...how have you all been :)?

Rusham!

The much-awaited surprise has finally arrived! Meet Rusham, my son :)!

Rusham is pronounced as "Ru-shum" - it's a hindu name and it means 'peaceful'. So far, my little man has totally lived up to his name. He brings so much serenity into our lives. All the anxiety and worry that I was experiencing in the past few weeks has disappeared. I love hugging him, kissing him, cuddling him, taking in all his newborn smell, and just gazing at him while he sleeps.... occasionally flashing that dazzling smile which can never be captured by the camera!

Even though I did not know for 9 months whether I was having a son or daughter, it feels I knew him all along. To experience a baby inside of you - moving when you sing or pat your belly, nudging you with his arms and kicking you with his legs, hiccuping, waking up suddenly when you drink something cold or sugary - it's something that is best experienced rather than being described in words. The mother already has a strong relationship established with the baby, even before birth...and it does not matter to her whether she knows the sex of her child or not.

I had a very painful labor - as long as my labor with my daughter - and this time around, with my doula's help, I went through it without epidural. An hour before birth, to help me wait for the doctor coz she was busy delivering another baby, I took a little bit of pain medication which provided relief for about 45 minutes....and by the time its effect wore off, I was ready to push the baby out. It was a day when hospital rooms were full (I was told to wait a couple of hours at home so that I would not have to wait in the hospital lobby) and the OB/GYN was sooper busy. In contrast, when my daughter was born, I was the only patient in the entire maternity ward.

Inspite of the 25+ hours of painful labor, I enjoyed this birth experience thoroughly. I knew what to expect, I was mentally prepared, I had my doula to help me push through, and I had my regular OB/GYN on call that day to deliver my baby. As soon as he was born, they laid him on my chest, and I held on to him (skin-to-skin) for a couple of hours, before they took him to do his first bath and check his vital signs. The moment when you first look at your baby is magical.....it feels out of this world (even though just moments ago all you could think of is the acute pain).

Rusham shares his birthday with my late grandma. She was my only grandparent that was alive since I was born. She lived with us for 20 years. While growing up, I shared my bedroom with her. She passed away a month after I came to the US, and I have nothing but fond and precious memories of all the time I spent with her. It feels special that he chose to arrive on her birthday....whenever I see him, I get reminded of 'baa', who I loved a lot.

So now I have a son, and a daughter - I feel immensely grateful and blessed. All I wish is for my children to be happy and healthy. May my ability to love surpass my desire to be loved. I know that there is no one way to be the perfect mother, but there are infinite ways to be a good one - so may I always be able to offer the best I can to my children.

I hope Ruhi and Rusham grow up to become each other's best friends. I hope they find a sense of belonging and security in each other, and a confidence that their bond is stronger than the rest of the world. I hope they always have this feeling in their heart that if everything else goes away.....we'll still have each other.

As for me, I'm just grateful to be their mom.....I love them both gazillion infinite much!

These days.....

:: I'm a domestic diva. On the cooking front, I've tried out several new recipes. Yesterday, I made Orzo Pasta Salad with cherry tomatoes, olives, fresh basil, peas, corn, toasted pine nuts, and a homemade dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper and Italian seasoning - it was heavenly! I love all the time I'm spending in the kitchen....it relaxes me.

:: On the home front, I've taken care of every single thing from my July to-do list. I've actually done a lot more than what I had listed in the list. A lot of junk has been cleared from the house, and lots of things have been organized. So much that I had thought was misplaced (or lost?) has been found. It makes me a very happy person :).

:: On the personal front, I've started sewing lessons. And, I've managed to read many books in the last month. Nothing too heavy or serious, all light reads - Mitch Albom's For One More Day and Have a Little Faith (both were good), Chicken soup for the Mother's soul (it was a gift and I loved it....perfect timing for me to read it), Mandela's Long Walk to Freedom (close to 70% done), Brooke Burke's The Naked Mom (again a gift, and the first time I attempted to read something by a Hollywood celebrity, but it's surprisingly not trashy - pretty average with good bits of humor - good timing for this one as well), Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers (the statistics made me think why didn't I plan to have my babies in January ;) ), and a couple others that I can't recollect. I have many interesting books in the pipeline, but not sure how much time I will get once the baby is here.

:: I've also been watching loads of US Open Tennis.....with my parents. It brings back many many memories from my childhood as well as the recent past. Today is a super Sunday with the men's semis, women's singles & doubles finals. It was a delight to watch Leander Paes in the men's doubles final - at 40+ yrs, he's still so active on the tennis circuit. In his career so far, he's played with 90 different doubles/mixed doubles partners - it was a 'wow' statistic for me.

:: I took the kiddo to the library for storytime on Friday. We've been trying to keep her home as much as possible, and spending lots of quality time with her. Our library outing was a blast.....storytime had 25+ kids, and I met a couple mommy friends too. I also requested a few books for myself, and I'm hoping they arrive soon (they are on shelf at other libraries in the network so they should arrive early next week).

:: I love it when R says "checkup" for "ketchup". I also love it when she completes the sentences I started, for example: I'll say "You are my" and she say either "Darrrrrrrrrrrrrling" or "Cutie Pie" :)!

:: Hubby and I finally managed to go to the theater after ages (I think it was the first time after R was born) and watch a movie. We went with my sister n hubby and watched "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" - I personally liked the movie....the story was unique, and performances were likeable. I love Jennifer Garner so it was a delight to watch her. Even though the outing was only a couple of hours, I felt so good. Thanks to mom n dad for taking care of the kiddo and giving us a break.

:: I am at an anxious stage....baby is likely going to be overdue, and insensitive people from all over the world are shamelessly continuing to bug me for updates. If there was one, or if the baby was here, wouldn't they know? I'm not someone who does not share openly....especially with close ones. Also, people keep commenting on how big the belly is, or how I am carrying (higher or lower) and whether its going to be a boy or girl.....it did not irk me until now, and I was able to laugh it off (I've dealt with it for 40 wks already), but now it pisses me off. I have nothing personal against any particular person, its just that pretty much anyone I talk to passes some comment or the other, and it has this cumulative effect at the end of the day which is intolerable. This is the time when I expect my community to step up, and this is precisely the time when they are letting me down.

:: Having said the above, personally, I am quite enjoying this calm before the storm. I keep myself busy with either reading or cooking or running errands or doing projects at home. I do my kick counts twice a day, and I keep thinking about baby names and the newborn smell and cuddles that are going to greet me very soon. Many people find the newborn phase very difficult to enjoy (and I won't say it's easy) but I loved that phase with R....partly coz my parents made life easy for me and I was never too overwhelmed with having to do it all myself. I enjoyed all the playtime at night and nursing sessions for over a year....I enjoyed napping with the baby on my chest......I loved having one-way conversations and only getting a smile or ooo-aaa as a response.....I loved baby-wearing.....it's something I already miss and I can't wait to experience it again!

Here's a maternity portrait from our photo shoot last month.....talented Megan (our photographer) makes me look beautiful!

Sewing

I've long dreamt of being able to stitch my own outfits. When I was pregnant with R, I really wanted to learn how to sew so that I could make cute outfits for her. However, it was all too overwhelming the first time around - pregnancy, labor, delivery, the newborn jaundice phase, issues with R's weight gain, getting a handle on nursing, and then trying to find a work-life balance.

The second time around - even though I am busier than before, I am much more relaxed. That helps in finding time to do creative things. Growing up in India, I've always enjoyed shopping fabric for outfits, sarees, home furnishings - and providing input to the tailor on the design/pattern, and seeing what you visualized come to life. When I go back home now, I don't have time to do this leisurely....there is always a rush, and I miss those days when I could take my own sweet time to browse and pick up stuff.

Earlier this week, Mom-Dad and I spent an afternoon at Joann's, browsing and shopping for fabric. We felt like little kids in the store, exploring every section with so much curiosity. We bought a few items, and came back home. I got online, and to my delight, I found a local sewing studio which was offering an introductory sewing class that same evening. I was sooper excited, I called them right away and signed up for the class!

I got there on time, not knowing how my evening would go, whether I would enjoy this experience or not, what would the instructor think of me, etc etc. The instructor - Marj - is a 70+ year old lady, who has taught sewing for years. She instantly reminded me of my grandma, who taught me how to knit and do embroidery while growing up. She was very patient, and had a calming presence. I liked her right away. She helped me pick the fabric for my first two projects, and we got started (I used a loaner sewing machine as suggested by her. I will try out a couple before deciding which one to buy).

My first project was a fancy pillow-case. We picked three different fabrics - one for the body, one for the border on the top, and another small piece of lining separating the two. It sounds like an easy project, but for a first-timer, it's a perfect one to pick. It pretty much took me the entire class duration to learn how to use the machine and get the pillow cover done. I made some mistakes, which Marj showed me how to fix. I completed the whole thing myself, and was quite proud of it in the end!

When I showed it off at home, mom-dad-hubby were impressed too :)!

For my second project, we picked a lovely blue+pink flowery print fabric for a wrap-around dress for R. I have studied the pattern, but I ran out of time to start cutting. I hope to finish it during the next class.....whenever that happens!

I have a few projects on my mind already: dresses for R, onesie/bib for baby, Hawaiian shirt for dad and hubby (we bought the fabric already), a skirt for my sister, an apron for mom, etc.

I'm excited to get my sewing journey started!!!!