Of this one song....

I've been waiting to upload a song that the husband got recorded recently and presented it to me as a surprise mother's day gift, but every day I forget to bring the CD from the car to my desk. Today I remembered to do so :).

He got 3 songs recorded, but the one that I (and my daughter) liked the most is: "pyar maanga hai tumhi se, na inkaar karo". Here is the link to the audio.....(warning: the quality of the uploaded version is not as good as the CD version, but this is the best I could do to share online).

https://soundcloud.com/sthakkar/pyar-maanga-hai-tumhi-se-sam

So, since the first time we heard that song, whenever I drive the daughter to school (or anywhere else in my car), she buckles up in her car seat and says: "mumma please pay pappa's song". {I love when she says "pay" instead of play - oober-cute :)}. And soon as it turns on, I look behind to find her grinning ear to ear. Her happy smiling face makes me heart melt....every.single.time.

Then, one day, she insisted on listening to that song at home too. I explained to her that we only have the CD in the car, and we cannot play it on our iphone or ipad. But I also said, you can listen to the same song in a different voice. And she was eager to listen to it :).

So I played the above, and she was mesmerized. She must have watched this video more than 100 times by now. And when I asked her, whose voice is better, she tells me: "mumma in one nine nine two I like man's voice; in mumma's car I like pappa's voice". Smart cookie! {one nine nine two is our house number hence the reference}.

Then one day, after watching the video, she tells me: "mumma I sad. Man sing song and lady cry. Lady very sad mumma she not stop crying" - LOL! {watch the song and you will see the heroine crying and that's what she is referring too}. I have tried telling her that the man singing is Kishore Kumar but it has still not registered in her head :)!

She loves music, and she loves dancing. She can sing so many hindi songs now....even though she cannot speak fluently in Hindi or Gujarati, she really enjoys bollywood music...and I am thankful for that :).

Overall though, the daughter is going through a very rough phase right now. That is the main reason I have not been able to post more regularly on this blog. I don't know if its because of the preschool or a growth thing. We checked in with her ped and everything seems to be okay, nothing alarming. So we are doing our very best to understand her, empathize with her, and keeping our patience when dealing with her tantrums. She went through a phase couple weeks ago where she would hit the baby zillion times a day, but this week we have seen a remarkable improvement and they both have been playing very well with each other. We hope it only keeps getting better :)!

Hoping to write more regularly from June onwards....and ending this post with a few pictures from the Mother's Day photoshoot!

Happy weekend!!!!

Baths and Swings

One of the very few things (or maybe the only thing?) the kiddos love doing together is bath time. They share toys, and have fun frolicking in the water. I am yet to try it out in the big tub, coz the son is still unsteady on his bum...but the little tub in our master bath is working great for now.

And they both lurrrrrrrrrrve the swing - ya there's swings at the park and they are oh-so-much-fun but we can't go there all the time.....both the kids can fall asleep in this swing at home, the daughter will eat her snack while swinging, and any tantrums going on can be resolved by putting the child in the swing. For less than 20 bucks, this one is a great addition to any home with infants and toddlers.

And today is my mum's birthday....mum n dad and the kiddos came to work to have lunch with me (thanks to my friend A who played chauffeur) - we have a vegetarian station in the cafe whose fabulous cook presents us with new yummy dishes every day. I am yet try out something here that I did not like. Today was no exception. We had a quinoa and brown rice thai salad with pineapples, red cabbage, green beans and asparagus in a peanut-sauce. We also had peanut-curry tofu with cauliflower, a barley salad and some yummy falafel. The daughter had way too much fun at her mumma's workplace :).

Next up - Mother's Day Weekend :)! Fun Fun Fun!

Book Review - The Secret Wish List

Preeti Shenoy is one of my favorite bloggers and friend in blogosphere. She also happens to be one of my favorite personalities (now a celebrity :)), someone who I admire a lot, and someone who never fails to inspire me in anything she does.

I instantly fell in love with her writing when I chanced upon her blog one day, a few years ago. I remember spending an entire Sunday afternoon browsing through her posts. I soon read her first book, 34 Bubblegums and Candies" which had just been released. Although I loved the book then (and still do), I must say that she has improved leaps and bounds in her writing since her first book was released. Her writing has gained so much confidence.

I won a copy of  her latest (fourth) book, "The Secret Wish List",  from one of the contests on her blog and the book was waiting for me when I arrived at home during my recent India trip. It took me a while to start reading it, but I finished it in a couple of days (hard to do it in one sitting with a toddler and a full-time breastfeeding infant) and even though its been a while I read it, the story and its message is still lingering on in my mind.

The Secret Wish List is a love story beautifully woven into words. And the part of the story that appealed the most to me is how the protagonist finally realized how miserable she was with her current life and did something about it. Since I was in India when I read the book, I could see many people like her around me. Most Indian women who are homemakers are very submissive to their spouses or family, and after reading the book I wished that were not the case. I wished more women voiced their opinions during conversations (I found this to be huge coz I totally lacked company in this department during my visit). I wished they spent more time pursuing their hobbies. I wished each and every one read Preeti's book, made their own wishlist and decided to fulfill it, slowly but surely. I did made a mental note of my wishlist and will work on fulfilling it for sure!

Preeti's lucid writing, her definition of the characters and the cities they live in, the places traveled - it all feels so real when you read it, that you instantly form a bond with her books and start relating your own life to it. She always transports me back to my happy memories - whether its college, a close friendship, a place I visited, and so I say that she's an amazing writer.

Another thing that Preeti's books and blog posts always remind me is to live in the moment, be sincere + work hard and be grateful for the blessings in life. Life can change any minute, and there are no warnings given. We should greet each new day given to us with a smile, give it our best, and when we go to bed, we should fill our gratitude journal with positive notes and fill our minds with content.

I cannot end this post without mentioning one more thing. Preeti is also a woman of her words. She will do what she says. And even after achieving so much success and fame, that quality of hers has not changed. She was there for me when I needed her.....and I will forever be grateful for that.

Her fifth book is very much awaited....and I wish her much more national and international success as a writer in future!

Thoughts on maternity benefits

I read this article yesterday:
http://money.cnn.com/2013/04/30/technology/yahoo-maternity-leave/index.html?fb_action_ids=10152798888910721&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

If interested, read the comments. Very interesting, to say the least.

I have mixed feelings about this whole maternity paid leave thing. I have voiced my opinions earlier about how Intel does not give us even a single day of paid maternity/paternity or bonding leave. Also, the state of CA classifies maternity as a short-term disability condition and because we pay for a short term disability plan through our paycheck, we get those benefits.

On one hand, I applaud large corporations like Cisco, Google, Facebook, and now Yahoo, for providing such generous benefits to new moms and dads. Any amount of leave for a new mom is not going to be enough. So whatever you get is great. However, I am of the opinion that such benefits have to come from the government (state or country), not from private corporations. Or, there should be a standardized policy that everyone follows. Atleast the minimum requirement. And then they could go above and beyond the minimum requirement, and that's entirely upto the company and its policies. That is how it is in many of the European countries, where the government itself has generous policies for new parents. In some countries, moms get upto 2 years of leave (not all is paid but their position in the workforce is guaranteed). Most countries do a year of leave in Europe.

I can see how the current situation where the benefits largely vary from one company to another in the US can cause lots of grief. Within the company as well, it brings on feelings of discrimination between employees. Another point that is sure to bring feelings of discrimination is these private companies dishing out cash for baby gear. Why is that? Isn't having kids part of your life plan? Don't you plan your expenses in such a way that you can accommodate the additional expense of bringing in a baby in your life? How do you compensate to the employees who choose not to have children or who don't have them yet or have fertility issues? Again, the appropriate thing is the tax breaks that you get for having more dependents in your household, and any deductions/credits you can take for their care....but such policies are already in place.

Not only the leaves - atleast with Intel - most of the "Great Place to Work" perks and events are also catered towards employees who have children. We have spring carnivals, movie nights, free museum and water park days, discounts on kids activities, etc. There are a ton of college graduates in the workforce who don't have a family, many childless couples, many more whose kids are college-age, and not to forget, the few single souls, who feel totally left out. This one colleague of mine who is single is never able to utilize any of the perks. He even skips the holiday dinner coz everyone brings their spouse and he feels odd to show up by himself.

The whole childcare-daycare ecosystem is also not too great in the US. From infants to preschool age children, there is a big dirth of quality childcare centers or individual providers who are licensed and experienced. I am experiencing all the issues first hand. I'm reading a book (bringing up bebe) which talks about creche's in France and how good they are, and how you have to get into the waitlist, etc and I feel why don't they have such places here in the US? Why don't they train people specifically for this purpose and pay them well enough to take up this career as a living?

An ideal life is where one parent stays home and takes care of the kids and the house, and the other one is the bread winner. But then we would never evolve as a society, would we?

I've mostly ranted out here...but what do you think?

How do I look :)?

This picture is from last weekend.

A couple of things happened while I was on vacation in India.

First, I lost 10+ lbs (I think 12 lbs but definitely more than 10). YAY! All the weight that I gained during my second pregnancy is gone. I didn't have to diet, or exercise. Just breastfeeding the baby full-time and watching what I eat helped me lose it. I also had to cut out dairy from my diet for a few weeks, and I'm sure that helped me shed some pounds. Now I have about 10 more lbs to lose....its the excess from my first pregnancy with the daughter, and as I introduce a little bit of exercise this summer into my routine, and continue to be mindful of my calorie intake, combined with breastfeeding the baby past his first birthday (or as long as he wants to nurse), I will be able to shed it.

Second, I cut my hair shorter. A lot of people are noticing it and commenting. My neighbors in India were very sad....they never commented that they loved my long hair, but after the haircut, they told me they had always longed for hair like mine. After coming to the US, the person who is disappointed the most is the husband :). He had grown a mustache while we were gone, so when we met him at the airport, he said he grew it to mourn my haircut without his consent - LOL!. Personally, I love the shorter do. I can wash my hair everyday and leave it open and don't have to spend much time caring for it. I had loooooong hair for 10+ yrs and a change was overdue. With a toddler and an infant, I barely manage to shower everyday. There could not be a better time to enjoy this new hair style.

Both refreshing changes for me....looking forward to enjoying summer and being outdoors and active!

Back to work....

:: First day back at work after a longish break - I find it peaceful and relaxing so far....I miss the kids but not so much that I would want to run back home :).

:: Cleaned my desk thoroughly - I find most cubicles filthy and full of junk....I like to keep my working space neat and organized.

:: Was pleasantly surprised to find a divisional recognition award plaque at my desk for a small research project I did with Barcelona team a while back.

:: Went down to the cafe and was happy to see that all disposable items - cups, lids, spoons, etc have given way to reusable mugs and steel utensils.

:: Spoke to my manager and found out he got a well deserved promotion. Extremely happy for him and feels great to work for someone who is much above the rest of the staff (in terms of technical expertise and mentoring) on our project..and is a true leader. Now only if he would cut down on his micro-management (and to be fair, he has succeeded in doing that in the recent past) then he would be someone I could learn and grow from and enjoy working with in the years to come. We had a bumpy beginning but we seem to be getting along fine since quite some time now.

:: The entire family, including moi, was sick with a bad bacterial infection as soon as we landed. It took us more than a couple weeks to recover. The baby has had back to back ear infections (seriously, he needs your prayers) and I seem to have caught another cold yesterday. It's been very challenging, to say the least, in terms of illnesses since 2013 began.

:: For our daughter: I've toured many preschools and have done trials at 3 of them. I have come to a conclusion that for our daughter's personality, a Montessori will work best in the beginning years. She has an interview today (good luck to her :)) and if she does well then she will start half-day preschool this week - I'm excited and nervous! {Any inputs on preschools, montessori, etc are appreciated}.

:: Tried out a new chaat dish recently - did not take pics but will post a recipe soon. It's a lot of work to make it (soaking dal, grinding, baking, etc) but its sooper yummy and nutritious.

:: I am already planning a short vacation in summer {sigh} - it will only be a week long but looking forward to it!

Here's a recent picture of the kiddos....{got a few matching outfits stitched in India...feel so happy to see them wear those :)}

Back to work now!

Ordinary days

Our India trip is coming to an end this weekend. We've spent almost 3 months here, and even though most of our bags are packed, we don't feel like leaving. I know my parents and daughter would rather stay here forever. Although I miss my hubby, my home and my work, I wish I could stay here longer :).

This trip has been very challenging on all levels. Many things did not go as expected. Kids falling sick so many times, changing weather all throughout our stay, zillions of mosquito bites, dealing with a very defiant and stubborn toddler, potty training, an infant who never naps well during the day, feeding issues for both, mom's illness, and much much more.

But the trip has also been a triumph of sorts. When a problem arose, we figured out a solution - help came in quickly and from unexpected sources. It made us more resilient. I never lost my patience or found myself crying on the bathroom floor during tough times (when I traveled with my infant daughter, I had several breakdowns, and way too may conflicts with my parents during my stay, so I was anxious about such stuff happening again,  but thankfully, none of it did). The best gift that I have been rewarded with is how well the daughter has integrated herself into the culture and lifestyle here. She talks Gujarati, sings hindi/gujarati songs, eats Gujarati food, spends more time and eat more meals at the neighbors' houses than at our house, bathes/naps with other folks, travels by scooter and rickshaw everywhere, has loved and enjoyed with all the relatives she has met, has been on a long train journey, has visited so many local parks here, and so many other things. Even though I have a very tough toddler at my hands, I am proud to see the Social Gujarati Butterfly she has become here, and that too with so much ease.

Just to give you an example of her day:
Yesterday evening, she ate pani-puri at someone's house at 6pm; she ate dosa at another aunty's house at 7pm and then she had dessert at a neighbor's house at 8pm. She only comes home at bedtime, and insists that we keep the door open for her to walk in at night. I truly envy her life!

The son has graduated from tummy time and back time to playing in a sitting position all day....and he too spends a considerable portion of his time during the day "socializing". He prefers women over men (true story) and little girls over boys (yep). We tried a few more foods and he still only likes eating mangoes. He sure is lucky and blessed to have spent his first summer in India!


When I come for extended stays like this trip, what I enjoy the most are the ordinary days. Where the milkman delivers milk first thing in the morning, followed by the newspaper vaala. Where my day starts lazily and I can browse the newspaper while brushing my teeth. Where mom cooks our routine meals. Where the neighbors chit-chat all through the day. Where the apartment kids go to school and return. Where the vegetable and fruit vendors make their daily rounds. Where we have a full meal for lunch and then everyone naps for a couple of hours. Where we eat mangoes daily. Where we drink sugarcane juice (with ginger and a dash of lemon) on hot summer days to quench our thirst. Where we can go out for a walk in the evening and watch the neighborhood kids play cricket. Where we only have to run an errand or two during the day. Where relatives call to check on how we are doing. Where mom-dad do Satsang three times a day and there is ample opportunity to join them or just listen and enjoy. Where the awesome neighbor brings by a plate of hot snacks they have just made. Where bapuji visits almost daily and talks about interesting stuff. Where radio mirchi is playing on the radio all day in the background. Where I have ample time to bathe the kids, to read books to them, to feed them, to sings songs and poems, to do drawing or crafts, or to just watch them run around and play or interact with other children. Where there is no shopping to be done, no agenda to be accomplished, nowhere to get to....just being home is blissful. Such ordinary days are true vacation days....where the mind is at peace and the heart is content.

And these ordinary days are the ones I will miss and cherish the most!!!!