Remembering K Foi....

Last year, this time, I was in Mumbai at my in-laws. Before I got married, whenever we visited Mumbai, we would camp at my aunt's (dad's older sister) house. We were so emotionally close that she always complained about me not staying with her anymore and spending more time with my in-laws than her in recent years.

She was the BEST cook in our house. Years ago, she owned a fast-food joint in Andheri and ran a sooper successful business. Whenever we visited her, she would pamper us with hot breakfasts, lavish lunches, and new items for dinner. During every trip, I would come back with atleast one new recipe from her. She made the best pani-puri's in the world.

Last year, during my visit, I met her a few times. And I also spent an entire day with her....we went shopping together :). And when we were near Andheri station, we saw McDonald's and she was craving junk food, so we went in and ate McAloo Tikki burgers, with fries and a drink (a true Happy Meal). It was a rare indulgence for her, as she was a heart patient and always closely watched her diet.

Last month, my dad made a trip to Mumbai just to spend time with her. He stayed for 3 days, and we did FaceTime while he was visiting. She saw the kids, and was delighted to see the son running around the house and talking so much......when she last met him, he was a chubby baby who liked to be held :).

Aunt K suffered a couple of heart attacks and passed away in hospital early Monday morning. She had health issues, but was managing quite okay when we last spoke. So it was sudden, and a shock for all of us. It's the first sibling loss for my dad or mom, and they are grieving a lot. As with such news, it takes time. Acceptance only comes later, after internalizing all the grief. I still can't believe it either. I am remembering all my conversations with her, and still can't believe that I will never be able to talk to her again :(.

It's been an emotional roller-coaster....to say the least. I feel bad that mom n dad cannot be there with the family at this time. They JUST arrived from India...it has been less than a week. I called them over because the son was constantly falling sick in daycare, and needed to be kept home. I pulled him out of daycare in early January, and worked from home for 3 weeks until mom n dad got here.

The parents are constantly on the phone with all my uncles and aunts.....talking about her life and remembering the good as well as the tough times. You see - she was the only one in our family who lost her husband 25+ years ago.....a young widow, she raised 3 young children by herself, and eventually they started working and helped her repay the debt that my uncle could not clear before his sudden death. She had a tough life, but I always saw her smiling. What I will always remember is her beautiful face, her long black tresses, and her lovely smile.

When I visit my older aunts and uncles now, they always tell me "good we met and spent time...who knows, we may never see each other again". And I understood the sentiment and reality behind the statement, but always shrugged it off in my mind. But it is really true. It's true for any of us, but more so for the aging generation. I am glad I visit India often and spend almost all my time with family. I try to visit as many relatives as possible. I've sacrificed many vacations and outings with friends just to be able to visit family in India. And I feel it has been the best use of my vacation time.

I love you K foi (that's what I fondly called her)....you will always hold a special place in my heart. May you rest in peace.

What comforts you?

I was reading a book to the daughter last night at bedtime. In the book, a girl named Sophie gets very angry, and runs away from home, to calm down.

After our reading session, I happened to ask the daughter: "Why do you like to go to the beach?".
And pat came the answer: "Because it comforts me."
Wow. I was blown away by her response.
I told her: "I feel the same."

And it got me thinking. What else comforts me?

These days, it's Running. It's weird - I never look forward to it. But when I'm running, I find it comforting. The rhythm, the focus on breadth, the trail next to the river - it all comes together beautifully.

Reading a good book. Currently reading "Lean In" by Sandberg.

Cooking. I find comfort in my cooking skills - for I know I'm good and my family enjoy the meals I make.

Love, hugs, touch.

Conversations, kind words, compliments.

Coffee.

Meditation. Yoga. Prayers.

Long walks.

Flowers.

Gardening.

Music. Movies.

Workout. Biking. Swimming. Or playing a sport.

Sleep. Rest.

Laughter.

Time with kids, and family.

Quiet time.

Hot showers.

Cleaning. Either dishes or scrubbing bathroom floors.

Green tea. Lemon-honey-ginger water.

Mom's food. Chocolate.

Hiking to the top of the mountain and enjoying the view.

And last but not the least - Writing. Either here on the blog, or in my journal.

What comforts you?

Day 15 - Blog Marathon break :)

Things are really difficult right now. I have never been so busy in life.....never, ever. And I never imagined it would be THIS tough to just get through routine.

So, I need to call it quits on this blog marathon. I hate to take this step, but other things need to take priority.

I'll keep blogging - I just don't want to force myself to post everyday when I'm dead tired and I rather sleep early each night. Also, my work PC was having issues the last few days where I was only able to access the Intranet, and when working from home (which I am doing all this week because the kiddo is still recovering), I would not be able to access Internet at all. That made it difficult for me to write blog posts during the day. And by the end of the day, I was totally spent.

We also travel tomorrow to Southern California for a short break. We had planned this trip a while ago and I'm really looking forward to the warmer weather and the beach :).

I'll post as often as I can, just not daily.

Leaving you with a few pictures of my bum-chums.....

Aren't they precious :)?

Day 11 - Mind vs Body

I woke up feeling very lethargic today. With the ER visit and a sick kiddo at home, the week was tiring.

On top of that, it is the time of the month when Aunt Flo is visiting me, making her presence felt strongly with cramps and more lethargy.

It was also predicted to rain this morning.

SO many reasons to NOT go for my half-marathon training today.

But I went.

I was not sure how it will go.

The trainer changed plans on us - instead of a 4-mile run as per our training plan, he asked us to run 5 miles.

5 miles - never ran that distance before in my life. I've walked 20+ miles but never ran.

The warmup itself was brutal. But no rain, yet. Fingers crossed.

I did not want to run alone. I knew I would not be able to push myself if I did. So I joined a team of 4 women who trained at my pace. We all motivated each other.

The trail, as usual, was beautiful. And it was busy too. Lots of runners and cyclists on the trail. And it did not rain at all - we were so lucky.

I DID IT - 1 hour, 9 mins - 5 miles. The farthest I've ran in my life. (To be honest, it was a run+walk, but that is my goal for this first race anyway).  WOOHOO!

I felt SO good after the run. The core workout post-run was a piece of cake. Yep, even the 60-second planks and the squats and the pushups felt sooper easy.

I was not the fastest, or the strongest, but I gave my hardest. And for that, I'm very proud of myself.

What was I thinking while running? I just kept telling myself: "I CAN do it." Baby steps. Kept counting from 1-10 and repeating it. Chatted with friends along the way, getting to know them better. One has GIRD so she is running to build her lung capacity, one is retiring next month and wants to live an active life filled with travel and adventures post-retirement, one lost 20lbs last year and wants to get fitter and lose more weight before her wedding. So many inspiring folks out there....it was lovely!

You have to have this desire within you to achieve something. For me, right now, it is to GET FIT. Not so much to lose weight (it will naturally come off), but I need to get my fitness level back. And I'm doing it - one workout, one run, one day at a time!

Day 10 - {this moment} Family walks

"A Friday ritual. A single photo - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember" - SouleMama

This picture is from our trip to Mendocino in November.

Both the kids LOVE to go for walks. The daughter will walk/hike as much as she can when we travel and take trails. And she enjoys it too. We find little adventures to do on the way for her. 

My husband also is a nature lover. He enjoys such outings, and rarely says no. He prefers that over movies, socializing with friends, dining out, etc. 

I can't wait for summer when we can be outdoors much more often!

Have a good weekend! We will be staying home and taking care of the baby who is still feeling poorly!

Day 9 - ER musings

Spent a few hours in the Emergency Room (ER) today. The son has caught a nasty virus and he was in respiratory distress. Took him to his pediatrician and she sent us to the ER.

Have I mentioned before that it is a crime to fall sick in this country? And the medical system is the #1 thing I hate about this country? Well, if I haven't, I now have.

I've had the pleasure of visiting the ER a few times, either for myself or for others. And rarely it has been a pleasant experience. Today was frustrating, initially, but we came across a really nice physician who thought on the same lines as I did, and agreed on a treatment plan that I proposed, and somewhere, by doing that, he kept a hope alive in me that there are always a few good individuals in every bad system.

Frustration #1 - From the moment we checked in, it took them 90 minutes to get my son his first breathing treatment. I could have done this myself with the nebulizer at home in 10 minutes. The reason for the delay? No one told the respiratory technician which medicine to give. So he was hanging out with us waiting for an order to be placed. I mean, really? People are that lame and slow when a 15 month old is waiting to receive treatment at the other end?

Frustration #2 - His charts said that he had already been checked for flu virus. They do a nose swab these days to check if he tests positive for influenza. But I clearly remembered that a nose swab was not done. My friend A concurred. So we brought it up to the physician and he sent a technician to do it. Another lesson for US folks - ALWAYS find someone to be your advocate when admitted to a hospital - ER or otherwise. I have nightmarish personal stories to share.

Observation - Except for one female nurse at checkin, all staff we encountered was male. And I always thought female nurses far outnumbered their male counterparts.

Observation - They don't keep kid friendly snacks around. Thank God our home is close by and we were able to stock ourselves with food, water, milk and supplies. But if not, all they offered to my child was "apple juice from concentrate" which he has never tasted in his life so he would spit it out for sure. I mean, how much does it cost to keep a few goldfish crackers, cheerios, nuts, or fruits like bananas and apples?

Observation - You REALLY feel alone when illness strikes you in this country. Unless you explicitly make a phone call and tell someone (or post a FB update which I prefer not to), they would not know what is going on. Whereas back home, you go missing for an hour unplanned and people look out for you. I remember when my daughter was hospitalized for a day during my last visit. My 74 year old bapuji dropped all his work and came to spend time with her. She enjoyed his company SO much - they read books, talked, slept, ate, and had a great time.

I feel very blessed to have my friend A. He not only came with us to ER and helped us manage both kids, but he also cooked dinner for us (organic veggie stir fry with baked tofu) after we returned home. It cannot get any better than that. So, contradicting my above statement where I said you really feel alone - sometimes, all it takes is one individual to pull you through a tough situation. I'm glad I had that someone today.

I'm watching my baby breathe heavily as I write this post. He is fine, but still sick. We will be home with him for the next few days to help him get better. Thankfully, he is still very perky, and playful. Just a while ago, we woke him up for his breathing treatment and he was roughhousing with me. I hope he gets better really really soon. Please please pray for him!

Day 8 - Work Anniversary #13

The husband was sooper nice to me this morning....he woke up early and did many chores that normally I would do. Before leaving for work, he came by to wish me "Happy Anniversary". For a minute, I felt terrible for forgetting our "wedding anniversary".

But then I paused - and thought again, and told him, "but our anniversary is not until the end of the month".

And he said - no, it's your "Intel Anniversary" today - another pause - and his wish brought a huge smile on my face :).

13 years - jeez, it's a long long time. I never knew I would stick around with one company for SO long. Thank God I don't feel stuck though. I've changed groups and positions and work profiles, and my current job has been the most challenging assignment that I have taken up in my career. My manager, who is technically exceptional, always pushes me to do more and better (it's another story that he only does that and appreciates very little of what I deliver, but that's okay) so there is never a day when my work day is boring.

There is still SO much to learn for me.....and honestly, as much as I like being a mom and cooking new recipes and doing things at home, I think I would be miserable not having a career.

Also, I LOVE being in California. Southern California would be slightly better than this, but where we live currently is blissful. Small town - everything is within 10 minutes of driving, excellent schools, great weather, great social circle, an affordable lovely home to live in, and lots of nature around to enjoy for us. The entire country is gripped by the Polar Vortex but we have warm sunny weather out here....could not be more blessed in that department!!

I treated myself with a sooperb massage during lunch time. The therapist Cassandra was really good, and my sore running muscles are thanking me tons right now!!!

One more year and I have my second sabbatical from work - looking forward to a paid quarter off :)!