Right now....

I have been up since 45 minutes, and the rest of the family is still asleep.

To be blessed with such a blissful pocket of time, especially after a night of Garba dancing, where I danced till I got blisters on my feet, is precious!

I had such a good time last night at Garba, I'm still on a high. After 4 years, I danced until I got blisters on my feet. One of the blisters broke, and as the daughter looked at it, said, "mumma bud is coming out". {a minor one, nothing to worry about}.

I came home and took a long, hot shower. Hot water and hot showers are very high on my list of luxuries that I am grateful for. Every single time I step into the shower, I express my gratitude for the luxury.

The cleaning lady came yesterday afternoon and the whole house is sparkling clean today morning.

I made butternut squash soup for dinner last night, and the aroma of nutmeg, cinnamon, bay leaves and the vegetables is still lingering in the house.

It's sunny and warm outside. I can't wait for the kiddos to wake up and take them out for a walk.

I am soaking in the warmth of the sunshine and the quiet in the house as I write this post, and feeling blissful!!!!

You know he's in good hands when....

She ALWAYS welcomes your child with a huge smile, and open arms.

She needs the money, but the driving force is her passion to care for babies and toddlers.

She agrees to fit to YOUR schedule vs. changing his schedule to fit hers.

She is probably the most patient (yet firm) person I've ever met.

She texts you a picture of your baby sleeping on her shoulders - for 2 hours straight - and when you ask her why she didn't put him down, she says because he reminded her of her youngest son who looked exactly like him at that age. She cherishes those moments.

You can be assured that your child will be well fed. NO MATTER WHAT.

Unlike other places, she never asks you to abruptly leave at the door at drop-off. She insists that you come inside, settle your child in, make sure he is comfortable, before saying goodbye. And every single day, she will call you within 5 minutes of leaving to make you hear his giggling voice.

She calls you every afternoon after lunch time, when your baby has gone down for his nap.

She says "thank you" for letting me take care of your sweet precious child...coz even though its not her own baby, she has SO much fun with him.

When your child is sick and refuses to take any medicine, she comes with her husband to your house, in the middle of the night, and spends as much time as required to get the medicine into your child's body.

She never reminds you of payment, ever.

She is someone who an extension of your role as a mommy. Someone who you can trust completely. A gem of a person.

 I am grateful for her as I can leave a piece of my heart with her everyday and go to work. Its a win-win - she works for her children and I for mine.

I love our kids' daycare provider. I am beyond blessed and lucky to have found her.

The last 24 hours....

So...

The grandparents left for India yesterday afternoon!

Miss R went to the airport to drop them and cried buckets of tears coz she wanted to go to India with them and had to be forced to come back home. Dealt with her somber mood until bedtime.

Mr R, the softie, has had high fever - 104F, since they left. Hubby and I kept a close watch on him all night long - we did bath, sponges, medicines. He got checked by his pediatrician and it looks like a viral fever so far. He is still running 102+F....hoping it comes down by tomorrow.

A close friend's dad passed away this morning. She was in a mess before taking her flight to India this evening. I sacrificed 45 mins during my lunch hour to meet her and provide much needed hugs and strength. I packed her bags, gave her lunch, took codes to access her house, and ensured she had her passport/cash/phone in her purse before she took off with a friend for the airport.

The grandparents reached Dubai and did FaceTime with us (they had a lovely flight). The scene unfolded like this: grandma was crying, grandpa was crying, Mr R was inconsolable, forgetting to breathe in between his sobs and saying "nana nana nana", Miss R was about to cry but put up a brave face to tell her "nani" to stop crying.....I could only handle it for 4-5 mins before hanging up. Too much heartache on both ends!!!!

Hubby's manager is being a pain in the A$$. She is an old woman who does not have kids. She does not understand what our daily struggles are. He is very stressed as he had to take the day off today. We had no choice though - the son was running 103+F in the morning at 7am when he typically leaves for work. We had not slept much through the night, and we had to get the daughter ready for her school. I was more worried of the chills and heavy breathing that the little one had all night, and needed him with me in case we needed x-rays or tests. He tells me they are jealous of the 6-week bonding leave he recently took. Well, its a State of CA benefit for which the State pays us (pennies, but still something) and I don't understand why it is causing so much grief. And, it was planned well in advance.

With two children so young, parents need flexibility. I don't know how we can manage if our managers and employers don't understand that. I have 3+ weeks of vacation left for this year, and I have saved it precisely for such times. I am taking time off tomorrow to be with the sick kiddo. Hubby also has time off banked in reserve for such times, but its still an issue if he takes it. And he is not allowed to work from home either. So can you suggest what we can do?

The clothes from the dryer are occupying the guest bedroom. The sink is filled with dishes that need cleaning. There is fresh food for all of us, but no appetite. The sun is behind the clouds, making it a boring dull day.

The grandparents have been gone for only 24 hours, but our lives have turned upside down in that short time! {sigh}

PS: I have a lot of drafted posts - must do a week-long marathon to get them all published :)!

My biggest fan

Today morning, she said "Mom, your earrings look like Candy".

Last week, she said "Mumma, your shoes are so cute."

The week before, she said "Mummy, I love your dress".

At bedtime, she invariably says "Mumma I love you sooooooooo much".

Every morning, she wants to put lip-guard and a dash of my body spray. She says "Mumma I want to look just like you :)".

When I cook her favorite meal, she says "Mumma, this is yummy in R's tummy".

When I occasionally find time to blow dry and style my hair, she says "Mumma your hair is so straight, I like it so much". I always reciprocate "you have beautiful curls".

Hubby leaves early for work, and I used to miss him in the mornings when I got ready. There was no one to comment on my appearance. But now, I look forward to dressing up and wait for a compliment from the kiddo :).

Often, after she sleeps, I will kiss her. More than once. And often, she smiles at me in her sleep. She knows I'm there, and she loves the touch. Her favorite thing to do is sleep on my arm, cuddled into my body, gently being massaged, and being kissed once she drifts into deep sleep.

She loves to give tighty-tight hugs.

I love having a child who loves to express, and makes me feel so good, every single day.

I am grateful, and I am blessed, to have her as my daughter (and my biggest fan). Love you betu!!!!

Post #300

Last year, on this day, I was lugging around a 40-week pregnant belly (yep, my due date was 9/9), wondering why this baby was making me wait soooooooo much (especially after the doctor had confidently told me the baby will be early)!. My curiosity about having a son or daughter was at its peak, and I was also very anxious about the whole labor and delivery process, along with establishing a good breastfeeding relationship with this new baby.

Well, he arrived just a few days later (we are celebrating his first birthday this week :)), labor was tough but I had an amazing birth experience, and he was a champ at nursing. I could not have asked for more, and I'm very grateful!

This year has been a learning experience for us. It has been the toughest on the daughter - she loves him, she hates him, she really has a lot of conflicting and uncertain emotions running through her. We have been mostly patient, understanding, and sensitive - but there have been times (more often than I would have liked) when we have had to be strict and discipline her.

Overall, though, however it happened, I'm glad she got a sibling. I cannot think of even one moment where I have felt that this was a bad idea, for any of us.

And the baby - well, he has stayed true to his name - the ever peaceful one. He is the calm in our everyday stormy life. He patiently bears all the tantrums, whining, and hitting from his big sister. If and when he expresses his angry or frustrated emotions,we know that things have gone beyond a certain limit - and we can't help but melt away and simply cuddle him and hug him tight - he's a true man in that sense, very very strong from outside, but a softie from within.

She is my drama queen and he is my warrior of peace!

This last weekend - they were both sick. The daughter came home from school with 103.5F fever, and the son came down with a stomach bug. We don't have parents right now with us (although they are coming back for his birthday this week - yay :)), but thanks to our friend A, we got by. It was not easy, but it was alright. They are better now, and I hope they stay that way.

I was looking through a few saved drafts this past weekend, and realized this would be Post #300. So I had to pen down a new, latest one. 300 posts - WOW! I never thought I would get here any day. It's been so effortless. I only write when I really feel like it (except for the marathon I did as a challenge), and I have also managed to keep this place hidden from most of the people I interact with in real life.

I cannot stand all the attention most bloggers seek on every little thing they write (nothing wrong with it, just not my cup of coffee :P). I also do not like to take part in contests, or publicize my posts on social media. I often wonder about the privacy aspects of putting up pictures of my kids online, and sharing my life....but so far, except for one instance when a person I knew was stalking me, I have not felt the need to stop sharing here.

Hubby's 6-week bonding leave comes to an end tomorrow. He now truly appreciates the role of home-makers who tirelessly work day and night to keep the house running and keep the family well fed and happy. I hope he values the lessons he learnt as they were invaluable. This time given to him to just be home with the son was truly a gift.

Over the labor day long weekend, I made a last minute plan to go to the Sonoma Coast. I got hotel reservations right by the bay for one night, and also managed to take a friend and her lovely family along with us. We had a blast - we spent time at the beach on both days (even though the Pacific was COLD, the sand was warm)....kids made sand castles, flew kites, fed the birds, ran around, had FUN! On our evening walk, we spotted seals and dolphins. We saw lots of ranches with cows and sheep on the way. We saw beautiful vistas along HWY1, on a stretch I had not explored before - I returned home so happy and content. On the drive back, we saw gorgeous double rainbows (end to end) in the fields by the freeway.

The son had his first minor fall (from the hotel bed) and got a bruise. His ped said "oh it was a matter of when, not if" when we went for a follow-up. The daughter got lost for a few minutes when she was pretending to hide and we could not find her. I went to the jacuzzi at night, only to be called 5 mins later by the hubby who could not put either kid to bed - haha. So the trip was eventful as well :)!

So that's pretty much a snapshot of what's going on at my end. How about you? Anything fun happening in your lives?

Ending the post with some pictures....hope you like them :)

 

A Friday morning well spent....

“Sail beyond the horizon; fly higher than you ever thought possible; magnify your existence by helping others; be kind to people and animals of all shapes and sizes; be true to what you value most; shine your light on the world; and be the person you were born to be.” -  Blake Beattie

The husband is on bonding leave. Mum n dad are also around for another week, and that means I could afford to take some time to do volunteering. There is a women's empowerment center in downtown that takes homeless women and empowers them with basic skills (through sessions that last 8 weeks) and helps them find jobs. They start earning and can at least afford shared housing of some sort. Some of these women have kids, who are taken care of at the onsite daycare. During the course of the session, temporary housing is provided, along with loads of other perks. Our company sponsors the computer lab, and every week, on technology day, a few volunteers go to teach these women basic computer skills.

I wanted to volunteer here for quite some time, since I first found out about this center. But its requires more than half a day of commitment, and with pregnancy or breastfeeding full time, I could not find the 6 hours that it required. But last Friday, I went. And I'm so glad I did.

The session for last week was to teach them how to write a professional letter - it could be asking for a letter of recommendation, applying for housing, applying for some grant, etc. The second part of the session was to help them export their resume from a software that the center uses to Microsoft word and help them scrub it.

The class started with attendance, introductions, and some women sharing their life stories. Some were alcoholics, some were drug addicts, some were abandoned by family, some were abused by their partners. It was heartbreaking to listen to their stories. Some shared how they are finding courage and inspiration to move on. One of the students was absent, but she sent a beautiful poem on how to stay positive and keep moving forward to the class. She had gone to Vegas to attend one of the trade shows to launch her swim line (and I wish her all the success in her endeavor).

Once we were in the computer lab, we were focused on learning. The women were all so grateful for our presence and guidance. Small things like showing them how to change the template, doing a spell check, formatting tips in word, doing print preview, etc were met with amazement.

One lady was very slow in typing up the sample letter in the assignment we had given them. I sat down with her, and patiently walked her through all the steps and helped her finish. At the end, she told me this: "Thank you for being there for me today. I was having a rough morning but your patience calmed me down. This might look very simple to you but it's not for me. {she showed me her resume and said} - see, I can do things that you may find difficult. Each one of us have special skills. I am grateful that you did not put me down while showing me simple things in Word. Thank you for your time."

Need I say any more?

My Friday morning was truly well spent.

Update:
So I went for volunteering one more time. The same lady, Bridgette, who said the words above, broke down into tears while doing the assignment for that day (Internet search) and ran to the bathroom sobbing. I followed the protocol and alerted her social advisor, who asked me to go and talk to her. So I met her in the women's restroom and asked her if I said something which hurt her. She said, "No not at all. I just feel very bad that I have to ask for help at every step of the assignment. I feel I know nothing". And then I gave her a few examples on why she should not feel that way. One was of my parents....they knew nothing about computers when I moved to the US. Slowly, but steadily, they became computer savvy, and both mom n dad can now make a FaceTime call to me to video chat. It's the most amazing invention ever....and I'm glad they learnt how to do it. I re-iterated the fact that Intel volunteers were there to hold their hand and guide them through this program, and also that the more questions a person asks, the better his (or her) understanding is of the task given.

I'm glad I was successful in driving my point across to her. And also helping her calm down, and bring a smile to her face. I got a warm hug from her, and by the end of our conversation, had 4 other ladies around us who provided their support to Bridgette too.

Again, another Friday morning well spent, truly making a small difference in someone's life.

Turning TH-REEEEEEEE!

Even though I specifically told her not to, my daughter turned three last week ;) 

And what a year it has been - Terrific and Tough! At least the tough part - the terrible two's - are now behind us. Let's see what the three's have in store for us :)!

To my daughter.....

Your year started off with mumma being heavily pregnant and anxious about the baby. We did not know whether it was a boy or girl, and the doctor had said that the baby would arrive early, but the little one was very comfy in his mumma's tummy and arrived past his due date. I had an amazing birth experience, and was delighted to have a son to pamper. And you became a BIG sister!

But you, my betu, hated him. You probably still do. Although, my personal opinion is that you LOVE him a lot more than you hate him. You had a rough time accepting his presence in our lives in the beginning, but in the last 11 months, you have come a long long way. You are now very possessive about him, and you explicitly tell guests that you don't want to share him with them. 

It's a different story that you will share your toys with every other kid but your brother; but when you wake up, you look forward to playing with him; when you sleep, you hug him and kiss him; when we go out, you want to push his stroller; when he wants to snack, you want to feed him; when you take a bath, you want to bathe with him. I love how protective you are of him. I love how excited you get when I tell him that very soon, he will be walking and talking. You can't wait to go on walks with him, and sing loudly with him. Its a blessing to see you transform into a caring big sister role. 

Growing up together - you two will have your fights, moments of jealousy and competition, antics to garner more attention, and what not, but I hope, deep down in your hearts, you always value and cherish the sense of belonging and love for each other.

Personality wise, dear deeku, I'm in awe of you. Really. You had the TIME of your life in India. I was so nervous about managing you and your brother full time, but you took to India - its life, its culture, its people, its food, its weather - like a fish takes to water. I loved watching you living the life I once lived as a child.  

You've reminded us pretty much every single day, why the terrible two's are called so. You are very defiant, or as I read somewhere, defiant with a smirk. You constantly test our boundaries. You know when you are wrong, but still keep pushing your limits. Being exceptionally smart, vocal and independent, you get your way most of the times. 

While potty training you was very easy for us, we continue to have difficulty when you want to assert independence at every step of the potty process. Even when you know you can't reach the basin to wash your hands, you want to do it 'byself'. If you don't get all the soap off your hand and I try to help you, you throw a fit. Sometimes you want to flush yourself, sometimes you want me to do it. You are like this highly volatile volcano who can erupt anytime, and even after eruption, continue to blow out ash and fumes into the atmosphere. 

We see this behavior in pretty much all aspects of your life. With your brother, at times, you are the most loving sister on earth. In a matter of seconds, you hit him. There are days when you wait for the moon to be seen and keep staring at it in peace, and other days, you are terrified of the moon having monsters and ask me to close all the blinds in the house.

Feeding you continues to be challenging. And knowing you so far, I think it will be an ongoing battle with you. You find eating as a boring and time-wasting exercise. The same goes for sleep. It's boring for you....you say you will lose sooooooo much time if you nap. The sun will go away and it will be dark. I can empathize - if I'm reading a book I'm hooked to, and I'm asked to suddenly stop and sleep, I would feel the same way too. For you, every moment, every day, is happening. So meals and sleep are boring for you.

On a few occasions, I've been overwhelmed with your behavior, and have yelled at you, or given you a timeout, or, rarely, have slapped you. But most of the times, I feel you are just asking me to uncover more and more layers of patience, and unique ways to discipline you in a gentle manner.

I can already see you developing empathy, which is profound. When I tell you that I missed you, you cup my face between your palms, and kiss me on both cheeks. You tell me not to worry and that you are the cutest thing on earth. When I drop you at school and tell you that I will pick you up in the afternoon, you say you will miss me, and you will be waiting for me. You LOVE hugs, cuddles, sleeping cozy-cozy with me all night, and being mushy with me. I'm your favorite person in the house, and you have no idea how precious I feel about that!

You are a total chatterbox. You start yapping from the second you wake up, and continue until you go to bed at night. Whether its singing bollywood songs or rhymes , whether its talking about our travels or what we did during the day, whether its describing your day at school, or whether its telling us "hey I have idea" - every person in the house has this silent smile on their face when you are talking. You come across as a very charming personality when you talk. People who talk a lot whine a lot too, but let's just erase that from our memory.

Your cognitive skills are strong - you can quickly solve puzzles, use blocks of various kinds to build things, remember store names & directions, names of people, lyrics of songs, shapes, colors, letters, numbers, play board games, play dress up, form shapes from things on the street, observe objects and shapes in the cloud formations, do puppet shows, and a whole lot more. My job is to nurture these gifted strengths of yours, and I hope I do a good job of that.

You like to leave your curls loose, and hate any kind of hair accessory. You love your hairdresser Jennie, and never say NO to a haircut. I see myself in you, as I had boy cut hair all the way until 10th grade or so. You are very particular about your clothes, your water bottles, your lunch bag, your snacks, etc. - you know exactly what you like and what you don't. 

You LOVE reading books. We have 1000+ books in the house now, and whenever I have to calm you down, I ask you to choose a book and sit down with you to read it. I am looking forward to watching you read by yourself in the next few years - it will be an awesome sight! 

You LOVE singing and dancing and bouncing/jumping. Your favorite song to dance is 'dholi taaro dhol baaje' right now. We went for Garba three times last year, and during the last outing, you were hooked to the music and the dancing. You danced non-stop for more than an hour, and even at midnight, you cried when we drove back home. I can't wait to take you this year....it's some I'm very passionate about and enjoy a lot, and what could be better than dancing to garba songs with your daughter?

You have an infectious smile. You love to laugh, and being goofy. You always crack jokes about farting and poop. You make fun of your brother who still wears diapers. I hope you always retain your great sense of humor, which, combined with your laughter, is absolutely magical. 

We have traveled quite a bit during this year. We went to San Diego and took you to SeaWorld. We've been to the beach several times. We spent 3+ months in India. We toured San Francisco and visited the Eastern Sierras. We made our yearly pilgrimage to Yosemite. And we took you to Disneyland on your 3rd birthday. You love flights, trains, boats, car rides.....it is much easier now to keep you busy and entertained during our travels. At new places, you often stop and observe the surroundings - the shells at the beach, the flowers at the garden, the birds, the rain, the waves. I hope your remain forever curious of the world around you.

I don't have much advice for you, except to ask you to be 'just' the way you are. To be kind and compassionate. To respect others and also stand up for yourself. To be unique. To be creative. To have moments of quiet and peace every day. To be content.

Quoting from "The Help" - always remember this betu - "You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You is strong."

And quoting Dr. Seuss, your favorite author at the moment: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

I'll always be there for you, and will love you unconditionally. 

Happy Happy Happy birthday, betu! 

Love, 

Ma