Satellite TV

I've always had cable for TV and Internet since I arrived in the US. I lived in apartments until a couple years ago, and never went through the hassle of getting Satellite or DISH installed. More often than not, the apartment would not be facing in the proper direction for the Dish to work. Sometimes, the apartment authorities would prohibit from installing individual Dish in your unit. Or, I might not be planning to stay in the apartment as long as the contract required for getting a connection. Whatever the reason, cable was more convenient. And often cheaper too.

But ever since we bought our home, I wanted to get Dish installed. However, until today, I never needed it. Now my cable is moving to full price (I got promotional discounts before) and I know I won't be moving anytime soon from here, so I felt it was the right time to get the Satellite installed.

Today, it's finally up and running. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but the technician never showed up. After a few phone calls, I got it rescheduled for today. He first put up the Satellite on the front side of the roof, but thanks to the timely intervention of our excellent neighbor (who dropped by during his lunch time to inform us that we were already pre-wired to install it at the back) we got it removed from the front and installed it in the back where it was supposed to be in the first place. Once that was done, the programming and connectivity inside the house went smooth.

I was excited when the technician left the house after setting everything up. After all, as of now, I have America's top 60 channels, a Hindi Super Pack for trial purposes, Free Cinemax and Showtime for 3 months, as well as ICC World Cup 2011 in HD for Free.

However, as I write this post at about midnight today, guess how much TV we (hubby n I) watched :)? Zilch.

Or as my hubby would say it - we watch "Ruhi TV" all day :). With an infant in the house, we hardly watch Television. So once all these trial packs expire, we will be paying just the minimum amount for America's Top 60 channel package (it's their cheapest package) and we hope that we still would get to enjoy only "Ruhi TV" all day :)!

Losing a cell phone.....

And being reunited with it after 4 days....

I went through a whole bunch of feelings and thoughts while the above happened.

I left my cell phone at the bank, and when I figured out after few hours that it's missing, I called them. They refused to have found it. I went to the bank, and the manager was very rude, and defensive. I had made no accusations whatsoever, still, he insisted more than once that his staff would not steal it. I went back to a couple of stores where I had been before going to the bank, but as I made the rounds, I came to the conclusion that either I forgot the cell phone at the bank or dropped it on the ground in the bank parking lot or home parking lot.

I went back to the bank to talk to the employee that helped me with my banking needs, and he refused to have seen it.

I came back home, and deactivated it. I changed my email passwords, and tried to locate my data backup on the PC. I had 95% of the data backed up, as well as all my contacts. I was only worried about a few videos of my daughter that I had not backed up. I sent an email to the company whose application I was using to create the videos and whose server they were uploaded on, and they promptly got back saying they would help restore them for me. So on that front, I was a bit relieved.

The day I lost it - I felt mentally exhausted. After putting my baby to sleep, I mentally was thinking which phone I will buy, and why. What should I do next time to more cautious about not losing it in the first place. I have not researched cell phones for a while now, so I only had a vague idea of what's out there in the market. I was leaning towards getting an android phone vs another iPhone.

I was a bit disappointed to lose it. More than the money, it was the hassle involved in getting a new one and getting all the data/applications back on.

However, I constantly had a feeling (the sixth sense) that I would find it back. So as soon as I woke up, I asked my sister to call her apartment office and ask them if someone has turned it in. They said no. I asked her to call the bank again, and ask if they could check the surveillance videos during the time I was there and an hour past that....and if need be, we would lodge a police complaint for it. The bank said they would not check their tapes for a lost or stolen cell phone, so we hung up.

However, after 30 minutes, the bank called back saying they found the cell phone. When my sister went to pick it up, they lied to her saying someone had turned it in. Another employee said it was found near the safe deposit box. I had already left my sister's place to return home, so the bank agreed to ship it overnight to me.

I found this whole thing suspicious from the beginning. It was obvious that some employee took it, and then when they realized that we would inform the police or the tapes might be checked, they decided to return it to me.

I got my phone back yesterday, and its working fine. All the data is there, and life is normal again. When you have a smart phone, a lot of your life revolves around it. In fact, it was liberating not to have the smart phone with me for the last 4 days. No email to check, no phone calls to make or receive, no social networking, no news/videos to watch, etc. I'm thinking I should spend this kind of a day at least once a week going forward :)!

An evening to cherish :)

The ocean.

The white sand.

The sand castles.

The shells.

The sunset.

The exotic hotel as a backdrop.

The loving family.

An evening to cherish :)

Taking the baby to the gym :)

It was a windy day today and both my baby and I are still terribly jet-lagged (we just got back from India over the weekend). We were in India for more than 3 months, and had a blast socializing with the entire family, meeting friends, chatting with neighbors everyday, and hosting a wedding in the family. Ruhi got the most attention and love from everyone. Being in India did wonders on her social skills development, and reduced her stranger anxiety to a great extent.

Ever since we have been back, its been kinda lonely. We are not going out much coz she sleeps a lot during the day, and the weather outside is a little bit chilly for her. However, I did not want to get stuck in a boring routine at home, so even though it was very windy today, I took her to a local kids gym for a trial class. This little studio has programs for babies (or bugs as they call it) as little as 4 months for motor skills development. Music, exercise, socializing - sounded like a fun thing to try :)!

Ruhi had an awesome time. There were 8 babies with their moms, 7 girls and 1 boy. The age group was perfect for her....they were all between age 6-9 months. The teacher was also fantastic. The class started with a couple of introductory songs where we were given rattles for the babies to rhyme with. We then did a few upper body gentle moves, after which we did some tummy exercises and some pseudo-baby-somersaults. I tried some of the moves for the first time with Ruhi, and was amazed at how well she adapted to them and liked them.

We then moved on to standing time (with support) during which she socialized with a cute 7-month old. Most of the stuff we did will help with her balance, co-ordination and body awareness.

The teacher then picked up Ruhi and took her to the bars (gymnastics portion of the class), where she tested her grip (which is very strong). She was happy with how Ruhi held on and said she has good core strength.

We then moved on to the most fun part of the class - blowing bubbles. We all stood in a circle with our babies standing up on our palms facing inside the circle (so that the babies face each other), as the teacher blew bubbles in the circle for the babies to play. Ruhi had a blast...she was trying to catch the bubbles while giggling and babbling. She was all smiles, even though she was tired and ready for her nap.

The class ended with two beautiful cleanup and goodbye songs. Overall, I am so glad I went. I got to meet other mommies in the area, and Ruhi had fun socializing with other babies her age.

There are a couple other studios in the area that offer the same kind of classes, so I will be checking them out in the next few weeks, and then will enroll in the one that I feel is best suited for us.

We are also planning to try out a kiddie swimming pool sometime soon, coz Ruhi loves bath time and splashing water around in her small tub at home.

Oh, the joys of parenting :)

Breastfeeding vs Formula

Most of my reading these days is baby related. It's fascinating to learn how babies grow, and reading up on baby development also helps when things are not going perfect with my newborn. After all, we all want only the best for our kiddos, right?

My baby has been on the skinny side of the weight charts since her first doctor visit. She lost more than average weight during the first 3 days at the hospital, she battled jaundice during her first month, and after that she settled into her own growth pattern...which she has maintained till date.

Inspite of being told by doctors, family and friends that she is healthy and okay, I keep worrying about her weight gain. Sometimes when I am told she is skinny or very small or anything else related to this, I get affected. God knows how much I have read online on this topic, and I think I shall continue to do so for the next few months.

Inspite of this worry, I have exclusively breast fed her so far. I know its the best nutrition for her, and I have resisted all advice and temptation to switch her or supplement her with formula. Breastfeeding has been very challenging, and my entire day revolves around that. During the first few weeks, I had to track her feedings to report to the doctor, and I found it extremely stressful. Then my maternity leave got over when she was 6 weeks old, so I had to pump in the day and during the night to have enough milk for her feedings while I was away at work. When she was 3 months old, I took my long break from work and came to India with my parents. I then fed her on demand, and only expressed milk if I had to go out for an errand. I introduced rice cereal and couple other foods to her recently.....mostly to develop her taste buds.

Today, I gave her a taste of Formula. She drank it normally, just like every other thing she has tried so far. I just wanted to introduce her to the taste, and also occasionally be able to give her formula so that I have an alternative when I need it. Also, she is almost 6 months old, so I felt it was the right time to experiment with it.

I found the formula so easy to make. It took me less than 2 minutes.....and a bottle of milk was ready. It set me thinking about the last 6 months when I have had to do so much in order to keep my baby properly fed with my milk. Starting from my intake of food and keeping myself hydrated (both of which affect my milk supply instantly) to monitoring her intake, washing/sterilizing all the equipment used, etc etc - everything needs to carefully managed so that she is happy and content and never hungry.

For a second, I thought life would be so much simpler if I gave her formula from day 1. But I know what I am doing is the best thing for my baby, and I don't mind continuing until I can, and/or until she wants to.

From what I have read online and from the many people I have spoken to....almost everyone finds this challenging. I feel actually blessed to be able to breastfeed my baby...so many moms are not able to do so. In the US, formula feeding is much more common than in India. I could not even find a decent cover-up for breastfeeding in public at stores in the US.....the one I found was like 40 dollars.

There are lactation consultants and free clinics at most hospitals in the US, and many other resources to help with breastfeeding as well, but I don't know how many people take advantage of it. From my experience, nurses always insist on feeding formula if you are not explicit about your preferences. Pediatricians don't seem to care either what you choose to do. Whereas in India, I met 2 pediatricians, and both applauded me for my efforts. I also found breastfeeding in public much easier in India than in US.

Here is a good link explaining the benefits of breast milk: http://www.nrdc.org/breastmilk/benefits.asp

Now than I am going over the 6-month hump, I feel less stressed about the whole feeding thing. I hope the combination of solids, occasional formula and breastmilk brings some substantial weight gain in my daughter over the next few months :).

Girl Child

Even before I got pregnant, I always wanted a daughter. And when we found out we were going to have one, I was beyond thrilled.

However, as and when I shared this news to people (mostly to people who asked me rather than me telling them), I was surprised at their reactions. All my non-Indian friends expressed their happiness, and it didn't really make a difference to them whether it was a boy or girl. But most of my Indian friends were not too happy. The kind of questions that followed after me telling them that I was having a girl were all bizarre.

It took me a little bit of time to shrug off their mentality....and I soon forgot about those comments.

Throughout my pregnancy, I came across many stories, articles and statistics about female infanticide. Here is one such story:

"Lakshmi already had one daughter, so when she gave birth to a second girl, she killed her. For the three days of her second child's short life, Lakshmi admits, she refused to nurse her. To silence the infant's famished cries, the impoverished village woman squeezed the milky sap from an oleander shrub, mixed it with castor oil, and forced the poisonous potion down the newborn's throat. The baby bled from the nose, then died soon afterward. Female neighbors buried her in a small hole near Lakshmi's square thatched hut of sunbaked mud. They sympathized with Lakshmi, and in the same circumstances, some would probably have done what she did. For despite the risk of execution by hanging and about 16 months of a much-ballyhooed government scheme to assist families with daughters, in some hamlets of ... Tamil Nadu, murdering girls is still sometimes believed to be a wiser course than raising them. "A daughter is always liabilities. How can I bring up a second?" Lakshmi, 28, answered firmly when asked by a visitor how she could have taken her own child's life eight years ago. "Instead of her suffering the way I do, I thought it was better to get rid of her." (All quotes from Dahlburg, "Where killing baby girls 'is no big sin'.")"

Each time I read something like this, I went through a mix of emotions - none happy or positive as you can imagine. Over time I would forget such stuff and focus on my baby. 

The birth of my daughter is one of the happiest moments of my life, and motherhood has been amazing. I am thrilled to be spending my time off from work in India with my daughter. I am so happy that she is getting all the love from her grandparents, relatives, friends and so many neighbors here. 

Today afternoon, I happened to have a casual chat with my neighbor's maid who rang my doorbell to borrow my neighbor's apartment keys. This maid's niece Rekha used to work in our house. Rekha had a baby girl couple weeks after me. In their community (rabari), having a girl is still considered a taboo.

So, coming back to my conversation today....I was asked whether I had a normal delivery or C-section. Rekha had to deliver via C-section coz her baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Everyone had pity on her....and said if God had to tear her apart for having a baby, atleast he should have blessed her with a boy, instead of a girl. I said what the heck?

Rekha was very weak when she conceived, and probably did not eat well during her pregnancy either. She did not lactate at all, so she could never breastfeed and now her baby girl is on formula/cow's milk since birth.

Very soon, she will start working again, and her daughter Prachi will be left at home in the care of some aging relative or neighbor. I doubt whether she will be sent to school. 

I cannot help but compare the difference in the lives of my daughter vs Rekha's daughter. Both girls born 2 weeks apart, and the difference in upbringing is going to be huge.

When will this mentality change?

When will people be equally happy on the birth of a girl?

When will a female child be given equal opportunity to go to school in such communities? 

When will a daughter not be treated as a liability since birth?

Such and countless more questions filled my mind today after my chat today afternoon. 

I am going to meet Rekha and her daughter Prachi very soon, and I am looking forward to it. I will do my best to talk to her and convince her into sending her kid to school. I don't mind sponsoring her child's education if need be. I hope, wish and pray that Prachi has a bright future ahead of her, just like I would wish for my daughter!

Diwali 2010

It's 4am here in Ahmedabad, India as I write this post. It's the morning after Diwali, and I can still hear the sound of fire crackers bursting in the neighborhood. I can also hear a distant sound of the morning aarti being played somewhere on a music system and hear prayers from a nearby mosque.

I am home for Diwali after 11 years....my first time since I moved to the US. I am actually spending Diwali in Ahmedabad after more than 20 years....we always used to go to Agra-Soamibagh which is our place of worship for Radhasoami faith during this time of the year. Diwali in Agra is much much more fun than here in Ahmedabad. There is chhoti Diwali and badi Diwali....the sweets out there are so authentic, the food so delicious. But just being anywhere in India during this time is amazing!

I did not burst fire crackers today.... neither did I go out for a meal......I was home with my daughter, my parents and my bapuji. It meant the world to me!

I always feel very lonely in US during this time of year. Festivals don't mean much without family around. We try to have parties, make sweets n savories, dress up in sarees and light diyas, but nothing compares to the feeling that you experience when you are surrounded by all your loved ones here in India.

After Diwali comes Thanksgiving n Christmas, and the feeling of loneliness reaches its peak by the end of the year. Every single year that I have been in the US during this time, I have felt miserable from within. Thanksgiving and Christmas are also times when family gathers, and I don't have that in the US. I do have really close friends who provide much needed warmth n love to make it bearable, and for that I am so thankful!

There are 2 things that made me very happy today.

My mom has a cousin in her native place, who is poor. He used to own a business, made huge losses, and has never really come out of it inspite of trying very hard. His wife is sick and bed ridden since last few years, and the medical bills due to her illness are huge. His elder son has stopped going to school coz they need him to work and bring home a paycheck. The younger son might follow soon if things don't improve soon. In the past few years, my mom n her siblings have provided much needed financial support to him. But my mom doesn't work, neither do any of her siblings. So its difficult for them to help beyond a certain limit. Yesterday  morning, I was talking to my mom about few things that I would like to do during my stay here. And she asked me if I would like to help this family. I readily agreed.

My mom made a few phone calls and got a list of what her cousin's family needs right now. The list was so simple: 100kgs of wheat grain, 50kgs of rice, and 2 cans of groundnut oil for cooking. Mom called another relative who owns a grocery store in her native place, and had him send these things to her cousin. We will send the money for the stuff via mail tomorrow. This grocery would suffice their family for the next few months. By evening when this was all done, my mom was so so happy, she had tears in her eyes. Needless to say, the feeling inside of me was priceless!

I got reminded of this quote: "Charity begins at home"!

I do have fond memories of visiting this family during my childhood, and they used to treat us so well. I am looking forward to meeting them during my sister's wedding in January.

The second thing I did was visiting an old-age home with dad. There is one close to our house here where mom n dad go regularly and donate. All these females are socially and mentally abused. They have been abandoned by their family and have nowhere to go at this old age. Most of them are 70 years or older.

Today, we were given a list of medications for the 62 females currently residing there. Most of them have some illness - diabetes, heart problems, knee pain, back pain, etc. I will buy medicines that will suffice them for the next month. I also inquired if I could go visit them and talk to them personally, and they said I could, provided I don't ask them any personal questions about their family. I plan to do that once I settle down in a routine here. Maybe I will donate one day of meals - breakfast, lunch, dinner (costs $125) and have lunch with all of them. The few minutes that I spent in the premises today were humbling enough.

Apart from that, I went out in the city and bought a really cute traditional jacket for my daughter. This along with a pair of brown leggings is going to be her new year day outfit for Satsang tomorrow :). I'm excited to dress her up!!!! Diwali shopping is so much fun!

Today is new year day for us - we will make a full meal (vegetable, dal, roti, rice, appetizer, dessert, salad, yogurt, pickle) and do Satsang at home in the morning. In the evening we will take prasad and go for another Satsang with mom-dad-bapuji's Satsang group here. There will be lots of phone calls wishing "saal mubarak" to each other! I can't wait for the day to get started!!!!!

I wish all of you had a lovely Diwali and also wish you and your family a healthy, happy n peaceful year ahead!