However, as and when I shared this news to people (mostly to people who asked me rather than me telling them), I was surprised at their reactions. All my non-Indian friends expressed their happiness, and it didn't really make a difference to them whether it was a boy or girl. But most of my Indian friends were not too happy. The kind of questions that followed after me telling them that I was having a girl were all bizarre.
It took me a little bit of time to shrug off their mentality....and I soon forgot about those comments.
Throughout my pregnancy, I came across many stories, articles and statistics about female infanticide. Here is one such story:
"Lakshmi already had one daughter, so when she gave birth to a second girl, she killed her. For the three days of her second child's short life, Lakshmi admits, she refused to nurse her. To silence the infant's famished cries, the impoverished village woman squeezed the milky sap from an oleander shrub, mixed it with castor oil, and forced the poisonous potion down the newborn's throat. The baby bled from the nose, then died soon afterward. Female neighbors buried her in a small hole near Lakshmi's square thatched hut of sunbaked mud. They sympathized with Lakshmi, and in the same circumstances, some would probably have done what she did. For despite the risk of execution by hanging and about 16 months of a much-ballyhooed government scheme to assist families with daughters, in some hamlets of ... Tamil Nadu, murdering girls is still sometimes believed to be a wiser course than raising them. "A daughter is always liabilities. How can I bring up a second?" Lakshmi, 28, answered firmly when asked by a visitor how she could have taken her own child's life eight years ago. "Instead of her suffering the way I do, I thought it was better to get rid of her." (All quotes from Dahlburg, "Where killing baby girls 'is no big sin'.")"
Each time I read something like this, I went through a mix of emotions - none happy or positive as you can imagine. Over time I would forget such stuff and focus on my baby.
The birth of my daughter is one of the happiest moments of my life, and motherhood has been amazing. I am thrilled to be spending my time off from work in India with my daughter. I am so happy that she is getting all the love from her grandparents, relatives, friends and so many neighbors here.
Today afternoon, I happened to have a casual chat with my neighbor's maid who rang my doorbell to borrow my neighbor's apartment keys. This maid's niece Rekha used to work in our house. Rekha had a baby girl couple weeks after me. In their community (rabari), having a girl is still considered a taboo.
So, coming back to my conversation today....I was asked whether I had a normal delivery or C-section. Rekha had to deliver via C-section coz her baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Everyone had pity on her....and said if God had to tear her apart for having a baby, atleast he should have blessed her with a boy, instead of a girl. I said what the heck?
Rekha was very weak when she conceived, and probably did not eat well during her pregnancy either. She did not lactate at all, so she could never breastfeed and now her baby girl is on formula/cow's milk since birth.
Very soon, she will start working again, and her daughter Prachi will be left at home in the care of some aging relative or neighbor. I doubt whether she will be sent to school.
I cannot help but compare the difference in the lives of my daughter vs Rekha's daughter. Both girls born 2 weeks apart, and the difference in upbringing is going to be huge.
When will this mentality change?
When will people be equally happy on the birth of a girl?
When will a female child be given equal opportunity to go to school in such communities?
When will a daughter not be treated as a liability since birth?
Such and countless more questions filled my mind today after my chat today afternoon.
I am going to meet Rekha and her daughter Prachi very soon, and I am looking forward to it. I will do my best to talk to her and convince her into sending her kid to school. I don't mind sponsoring her child's education if need be. I hope, wish and pray that Prachi has a bright future ahead of her, just like I would wish for my daughter!
