UBM Post 11 - Surgical deliveries

Yet another news from India of a sweet baby girl's birth (in my circle of family/friends), and along with it, yet another news of a C-section delivery. In the last 3+ years, I have not heard a SINGLE person delivering naturally in my circle. And it is SO concerning, SO alarming. This particular person that just delivered - she did yoga, she attended prenatal birth classes, she read books on natural birth, and prepped herself very well for labor and delivery. But during labor, she was told that the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck (a very common reason given to patients) and what choice do she have but to agree for a C-section?

C-section is a major surgery for women. Not many realize that. The recovery is much slower, and you have to pop in so many pain medications post-surgery before you finally feel okay. You also need a lot more help at home for an extended time as your movement is limited. There are long term implications and side affects too. Another major factor is its negative effect on breastfeeding. Its traumatic in those first few weeks - first, the milk does not come. If it does, the baby does not latch. Then there's engorgement, nipple bleeding/soreness, and so many other things that I don't even want to describe here. Why would you want to deal with an unnecessary surgery on top of all this? I feel it would totally take away the joy of spending those initial precious days with your baby in peace.

I recently put up this concern in a blogger group on FB, and someone thought I was bashing c-sections. Truth is, I was not. When medically necessary, it is the most amazing thing ever. But there are not many cases where it's absolutely necessary to delivery a baby surgically. My heart cries out for all these friends of mine in India, who have to unnecessarily go through a major surgery just because the doctors, hospitals and staff want to make more money. It's a huge scam, one that is running based on pure emotional blackmailing of the patient and her family who are in a very vulnerable and tense situation anyway.

There is a doctor in the above group who said she made a choice to go for a c-section. And that there is no risk in doing so. And that I'm wrong about the concern I'm expressing. I really don't understand - when did birth become a sophisticated thing to go through? what is the shame in natural birth? who are we to change the laws of nature? Pregnancy, labor, delivery and breastfeeding - these are the times in my life where I have felt most raw, most human, most humble. I would not trade these feelings or experiences for anything else in the world. If a woman is given the right support she needs, proper monitoring and assistance during labor, and much needed confidence that the baby and her body know how to deliver, she CAN do it naturally. There is pain, but as I remarked to many friends earlier, it's one day of pain vs. a lifetime of gain. It's just one painful day in your life for a happy, healthy baby in your arms for the rest of your lives.

I'm lucky to have had 2 normal deliveries. Both very tough labors, both 26-28 hours, both weird in their own ways - the first time it was the posterior position of the baby, while the second time it was prodromal contractions which I had never heard of before. Here in the US, the nurses and doulas are so helpful and supportive. They are in no rush and let the baby work its way down the birth canal. They provide you with whatever you need, and also have an array of pain medications (epidural, intrathecal) to help manage the pain. It's an intense time, one that is managed superbly by the OB staff. No matter what the state of hospitals, medications, and their pricing is in the US, the OB staff goes above and beyond their duty to ensure a memorable birth for all patients (atleast in my experience). And not just me, almost all of my friends have had normal deliveries. A couple of them who have not had obvious complications that necessitated a surgical birth. For this one reason alone, I'm glad I was in this country during this time of my life. I have a paranoia about surgeries and I'm glad I avoided them.

Also, think about my mom's generation. I have asked around and found that during their time, c-sections were rare. Most people had home births (although my mom did not) and most of them delivered normally. Agree that the infant and maternal mortality rates were higher, but with science making so many advancements and a majority of the births happening in hospitals, that has considerably dropped.

I could go on and on about this issue since it is very close to my heart. But rather than blabber here, I will work with a few people I know in India who are doctors (and come from families of doctors) and see what steps can be taken to address this issue. One idea brewing in my mind is to open up a firm of doulas and midwives whose mission is to simply assist women during labor and delivery and ensure a natural delivery as often as possible, at a minimal cost. What do you say?

Celebrating Myself

This post is an entry to the "Celebrate Myself" contest on Women's Web. Here is a description from their website:

"Every year on Women’s Day, we celebrate inspiring women, we celebrate the achievements of our near and dear ones and while that is great, how often do we celebrate ourselves? It is indeed time to be less humble.

Tell us what about you is worthy of a celebration. Our theme this year, ‘Celebrating Myself,’ is about looking for the good in each of us and feeling GREAT about it!"

Women's Day comes and goes by every year.  We have several celebrations at work - luncheons, talks by senior business leaders, volunteering activities.....however, this year, I did not participate; neither did I know what had been planned.

But whether someone cares to celebrate me or not, I do celebrate myself. And not just on one day. Every day.

Why? It's pretty simple: if I won't celebrate myself, then no one else will. I have to believe in myself - in my strengths, in my achievements, in my aspirations, in my beliefs, and be my own huge advocate. Only then I have a chance of having others celebrate me, if they choose to.

On some days, it is harder to remain positive at the end of the day. Celebrating yourself on those days sounds like a far-fetched thought. But I have cultivated a small habit for myself. Every night, before going to bed, I think about 3-5 positive things that made me happy and/or smile during the day. On some days, it takes time to push aside the negative thoughts and bring the positive into light. On some days, they come without having to try. But each day definitely has something positive to cherish. You just have to find it.

It could be a very simple achievement, like being able to feed the picky and fussy daughter all her meals. Or making some good progress at work. Or talking to a family member or friend who called and needed me to listen. It could also be a random act of kindness that I did during the day. Or sending a warm positive email to someone far away from me. This habit works wonders. It calms me down, and fills me with gratitude, instead of stress, worry and anxiety. It relaxes my nerves, slows down my breath. It helps me sleep well. It helps me feel good about myself.

As I write this today, I have helped two people get their first ever job interviews in their life. One of them will be offered the job. I happened to be there for them when they needed it the most. I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Also, as I write this today, I visited someone in the hospital who was involved in a car accident. I don't know what it was - my words, my touch, my presence - but as I was leaving, this person showered so much love on me....she took my palms and put them around her face...she gave me a warm bear hug (even though she has broken ribs) and she gave me kisses. Rather than being on the giving side, I clearly felt I was on the receiving end of love and warmth. I feel blessed about the fact that I was able to move such emotions in a person who is struggling with injury on a hospital bed.

Each one of us has gifts and strengths. We have weaknesses too.....but I strongly feel we have more strengths than weaknesses, and if we just focus on the positive, we can do wonders with our gifted life. Women, especially moms, have sooper powers. Just one example of going through pregnancy and child birth is enough to highlight this. We are naturals at multi-tasking. We have every right to celebrate ourselves - our body, our mind, our soul, our intellect, our love for our children-family-friends, our professions, etc.

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mom, an engineering professional working full time and making a living since the last 12+ years, a caring friend and a compassionate human being. And each day, along with celebrating everything else in my life, I celebrate myself too!!!!

Women's Tennis

While waiting at the lab this morning for a blood draw, I was browsing through the Sports Illustrated magazine. It had an analysis of the Australian Open Finals, both men's and women's. Of all the sports that I play or watch, I love tennis the most - both playing, as well as watching.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night with my dad when I was 6 years old to watch Grand Slam matches. Because of early morning school, I usually only got to watch the quarters, semis and finals, and those times were fun. Steffi Graf, Martina (Navratilova and Hingis), Sabatini, Chris Evert, Seles - that era was something else. Of all the players, I admire and adore Steffi Graf the most. I loved watching her games.

The men's game can be rated as the best of all times right now. There is so much versatility and competitiveness - as we can see from the Fab Four players (Djokovic, Nadal, Federer, Murray) who consistently wow us with their performances at each event. Sadly, there is no such wow factor to be found on the women's side.

Did you see the finals of the Australian Open? Sharapova rightly deserved the drubbing. She was just standing on the baseline and hitting the ball with as much power as she could manage. She was using very little of her brain to come up with some volleys, drop shots, coming to the net or varying her game to beat her opponent. Both the finalists were grunting so loud on the court - it was almost unbearable for me to watch, honestly! A few years ago, I thought Sharapova was going to be another Steffi....but I was wrong!

If you look at the last 4 Grand Slam events played, Petra Kvitova won Wimbledon (1st Grand Slam win), Li Na won the French Open (1st Grand Slam win), Samantha Stosur won the US open (1st Grand Slam win), and Victoria Azarenka just won the 2012 Australian Open (1st Grand Slam win). Caroline Wozniacki held the #1 ATP ranking for many weeks during 2011, and she is yet to win a major.

 It's okay for different players to win Grand Slam events, and each one deserves their win. However, they shine in one major, and then go out in one of the early rounds at the next major. Or succumb to injuries. Or, like in the case of Justine Henin, personal life takes over. I wonder why they don't take their game seriously and improve upon their performance at each event. We don't see this on the men's side, only in the women's. And I hope the situation improves - soon enough.

I'm the only one among my group of friends (who all love tennis) that watches the women's games. Everyone else finds them boring, and to an extent, I agree. However, I support the players, and the game, and am always hopeful of a good match.

One other thing to observe is the lack of top players from the US. Serena and Venus Williams are almost towards the end of their career (or so I hope), and Andy Roddick seems to be on the downward spiral as well. There are so many academies here and so many leagues being played regularly - I'm wondering why there is a dearth of top US players in the ATP rankings. 

Of all the top players on circuit right now, I really think Kim Clijsters is the most promising player. She made a wonderful comeback as a MOM in 2009 (I admire her for that), won the US Open back to back in 2009/2010, and also won the 2011 Australian Open. I like her quick paced game, and she does not fear from coming to the net often. I also love her personality - she is so charming to watch!

As the article I read today stated - if the men's game is an oligarchy, the women's game has been a study in anarchy :). Let's see what the future holds!

PS: Here is the article I read: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1194465/1/index.htm