So, after a fabulous Saturday, it was a drab Sunday. Worse than just drab actually.
Managing two kids, even with the help of my parents right now, is sometimes very stressful. But I have one rule for myself: I never find fault with the kids. Its usually my inability to deal with the situation in a better way. Our children are way too young to be manipulative in a way that could affect us badly, and are also yet incapable of creating any major drama. As my mom puts it, they are like tender flower buds, only looking for love, warmth and caring from us. They are definitely huge blessings in our lives, for which I thank the Almighty daily.
The husband unfortunately does not always think like I do. I think he was overwhelmed today. Which is fine, but there was no real reason to be overwhelmed with. We had planned to be home all day, had no errands planned, no house cleaning or arranging planned, and didn't even have to cook dinner. All we had to do is make some lunch (which mom and I cooked), bathe the kids, eat, play with them, nap. But he was mean and nasty (with his words) to me when the daughter threw a 5-minute tantrum just before lunch time. One thing about her is: she cannot gauge her hunger. When she is hungry, she starts whining and behaving cranky. I sense it very quickly, and always give her a small snack to eat if her meal is not ready or it's not yet time for her meal. Today it was lunch time and he could not figure out a way to keep her calm while he heated up her food. And the rest of us were busy so he got very upset that no one came to help him. Which was fine, but then as soon as I heard her whining and went out to help, he greeted me with very insulting taunts.
He has been doing this since the last few weeks, and I have always remained calm and non-confrontative. But today, he crossed a personal boundary where he stooped very low with his words, and I could not just stay quiet.
I have a short temper, and sometimes say things that I regret. And what I've learnt and practiced religiously is to apologize at the first available opportunity to the person affected. Look into their eyes, say sorry, and mean it. My husband will not say sorry. Not right away anyway. It takes him several days to internalize his thoughts and come to terms with his act, and it takes him even longer than that to come up with an apology. Not sure if all men are this way, my dad is certainly not like him (coz he's like me :D).
I'm glad the day is behind me. It can only get better from here, right?
DAY 6798
8 hours ago
