Baby musings - 1

Each time when I nurse the baby, she takes breaks in between. During those few precious moments, she gives me priceless smiles. Also, each time, a drop or two of milk drops out of her mouth and lingers around those pink rosy lips for a moment or two before I wipe it out. That sight is to behold!

Her new routine is sleeping as late as 11pm. Every evening, I start the process of putting her to bed around 9-9.30pm. She loves rolling over from her back to her tummie, smile at me, then roll right back in the reverse fashion and cuddle into me. I could keep doing that forever :). She then plays with her toys in bed, bursts into giggles as I tickle her, and loves to jump while sitting up on my tummie. All this goes on for atleast an hour, if not more, during which she nurses atleast twice. She is finally tired, and then dozes off while nursing! I think I am going to hold off on buying that crib for a while :).

When she wakes up, daddy has always left for work, except weekends. She looks at me, and gives me numerous smiles. I hug her, kiss her, cuddle her, and she keeps giving me smiles. After nursing and a diaper change, she is ready to roll! The day gets busy, but those few quiet moments in the morning with just me and her are priceless!

When she is very tired, she sleeps on her tummy. She looks ooberly-cute and I have to resist hard to leave her alone.

She is starting to develop stranger anxiety. When someone new tries to hold her, she turns her head towards me and clings on. Feels special that I am so dear to someone!

I spoke to her on the phone for the first time today. My parents said she was smiling and very happy to hear my voice :). I will do a video chat one of these days, and see how she reacts.

When she was younger, she used to sleep on my chest. She still likes to do that sometimes, although she is so tall that her feet touch the bed if she does that. I still don't mind though, coz very soon she will "grow" up and not want to do that anymore!

She LOVES bubbles. We introduced bubbles to her at the gym class, and yesterday for the first time we blew some at home. She is amazed looking at them and tries to catch them. The sparkle/twinkle/wonder in her eyes when they are blown is sooper innocent and cute.

Enough for now....it's past 5pm, and time to go home and HUG my babie!

Getting back to work

It's been a week that I got back to work after the longest leave of my life. I took my 2010 vacation, sabbatical, and partial bonding leave - all together, ~5 months, to enjoy motherhood at the fullest :). I know I feel really blessed to have such a good job and to be able to take such a long time off and be with my baby and family, however, as I resume work this week, lots of thoughts are running through my mind.

- The biggest question is - Am I okay with putting my baby in daycare or with a nanny? That would mean someone "else" NOT me is raising her. Someone else is teaching her all the important skills that she is going to learn in these early stages of childhood and developmental years. Many of my mommy friends who work full time have suggested I should make the most of the time I do have with my daughter - kind of hinting at - "quality is better than quantity"....I am somehow not convinced about this. When it comes to babies, quantity is important. They learn things slowly. You have to repeat the same thing over and over again before they get it. They observe so much, all day, and absorb everything - and learn through that. If I am not going to be around all day, how am I going to impact her as much as I would like to?

- My work is purely technical, where I need a huge amount of focus. I also cannot finish my work in the regular 8 hours, and very soon, when things ramp up, I would be totally consumed (mentally) by work related thoughts. When that happens, how effective will my evening/weekend time be with the kiddo? Not to mention the daily cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, socializing, etc that will need to be taken care of during the course of the week.

- Does it make sense to switch to 50% or 80% workload until the baby is old enough to go to school?

- Or does it make sense to switch my job profile to something which utilizes more of my strengths and is easier for me to handle during this stage of life? It would mean that I can easily complete my deliverables without being totally consumed by work, so that when I come home, I am effective in the time I spend with my daughter, and not very tired. It would also mean I can finish my tasks during the day so that I don't have to work at night or during the weekends on a regular basis. Occasional overload can be handled.

- During my time off, I did so many activities with my daughter. I took her for play n learn gym classes, swim lessons, music lessons, reading programs at the local library, play-dates, networking at a mommy n me group, social outings, etc. I want to be able to do at least some of this stuff even now, but weekdays are all gone with work. I can probably do one activity on a Saturday....nothing more. I don't like this compromise I am having to make.

- The whole breastfeeding thing is really hard to manage with a full time job. I either have to go home and feed the baby, or pump regularly at work to keep up my milk supply. Since my daughter is always low on the weight charts, I ensure that she eats all her meals in a timely manner. The moms' rooms at Intel really suck. They are very inconveniently located, and extremely small. They look like a highly compressed cube, and just the thought of visiting it makes me feel sick. So I never pump at work, and time my lunch hour according to the baby's feeding schedule.

- The good thing about being so busy is I don't watch any television....except for a little bit of cricket lately. I spend very little time on the Internet. I am much faster when it comes to completing my routine tasks at home and work. Phone calls are only made to the near and dear ones. Sleep is rarely compromised. Since we co-sleep, I enjoy sleeping next to my baby. I don't have the heart to put her into a crib yet :).

It's 5pm on Friday....so time to go home and be with the babie until Monday morning :)! I am thinking through what I mentioned above and will figure out what works best for me and my family, in the coming few weeks.

Satellite TV

I've always had cable for TV and Internet since I arrived in the US. I lived in apartments until a couple years ago, and never went through the hassle of getting Satellite or DISH installed. More often than not, the apartment would not be facing in the proper direction for the Dish to work. Sometimes, the apartment authorities would prohibit from installing individual Dish in your unit. Or, I might not be planning to stay in the apartment as long as the contract required for getting a connection. Whatever the reason, cable was more convenient. And often cheaper too.

But ever since we bought our home, I wanted to get Dish installed. However, until today, I never needed it. Now my cable is moving to full price (I got promotional discounts before) and I know I won't be moving anytime soon from here, so I felt it was the right time to get the Satellite installed.

Today, it's finally up and running. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but the technician never showed up. After a few phone calls, I got it rescheduled for today. He first put up the Satellite on the front side of the roof, but thanks to the timely intervention of our excellent neighbor (who dropped by during his lunch time to inform us that we were already pre-wired to install it at the back) we got it removed from the front and installed it in the back where it was supposed to be in the first place. Once that was done, the programming and connectivity inside the house went smooth.

I was excited when the technician left the house after setting everything up. After all, as of now, I have America's top 60 channels, a Hindi Super Pack for trial purposes, Free Cinemax and Showtime for 3 months, as well as ICC World Cup 2011 in HD for Free.

However, as I write this post at about midnight today, guess how much TV we (hubby n I) watched :)? Zilch.

Or as my hubby would say it - we watch "Ruhi TV" all day :). With an infant in the house, we hardly watch Television. So once all these trial packs expire, we will be paying just the minimum amount for America's Top 60 channel package (it's their cheapest package) and we hope that we still would get to enjoy only "Ruhi TV" all day :)!

Losing a cell phone.....

And being reunited with it after 4 days....

I went through a whole bunch of feelings and thoughts while the above happened.

I left my cell phone at the bank, and when I figured out after few hours that it's missing, I called them. They refused to have found it. I went to the bank, and the manager was very rude, and defensive. I had made no accusations whatsoever, still, he insisted more than once that his staff would not steal it. I went back to a couple of stores where I had been before going to the bank, but as I made the rounds, I came to the conclusion that either I forgot the cell phone at the bank or dropped it on the ground in the bank parking lot or home parking lot.

I went back to the bank to talk to the employee that helped me with my banking needs, and he refused to have seen it.

I came back home, and deactivated it. I changed my email passwords, and tried to locate my data backup on the PC. I had 95% of the data backed up, as well as all my contacts. I was only worried about a few videos of my daughter that I had not backed up. I sent an email to the company whose application I was using to create the videos and whose server they were uploaded on, and they promptly got back saying they would help restore them for me. So on that front, I was a bit relieved.

The day I lost it - I felt mentally exhausted. After putting my baby to sleep, I mentally was thinking which phone I will buy, and why. What should I do next time to more cautious about not losing it in the first place. I have not researched cell phones for a while now, so I only had a vague idea of what's out there in the market. I was leaning towards getting an android phone vs another iPhone.

I was a bit disappointed to lose it. More than the money, it was the hassle involved in getting a new one and getting all the data/applications back on.

However, I constantly had a feeling (the sixth sense) that I would find it back. So as soon as I woke up, I asked my sister to call her apartment office and ask them if someone has turned it in. They said no. I asked her to call the bank again, and ask if they could check the surveillance videos during the time I was there and an hour past that....and if need be, we would lodge a police complaint for it. The bank said they would not check their tapes for a lost or stolen cell phone, so we hung up.

However, after 30 minutes, the bank called back saying they found the cell phone. When my sister went to pick it up, they lied to her saying someone had turned it in. Another employee said it was found near the safe deposit box. I had already left my sister's place to return home, so the bank agreed to ship it overnight to me.

I found this whole thing suspicious from the beginning. It was obvious that some employee took it, and then when they realized that we would inform the police or the tapes might be checked, they decided to return it to me.

I got my phone back yesterday, and its working fine. All the data is there, and life is normal again. When you have a smart phone, a lot of your life revolves around it. In fact, it was liberating not to have the smart phone with me for the last 4 days. No email to check, no phone calls to make or receive, no social networking, no news/videos to watch, etc. I'm thinking I should spend this kind of a day at least once a week going forward :)!

An evening to cherish :)

The ocean.

The white sand.

The sand castles.

The shells.

The sunset.

The exotic hotel as a backdrop.

The loving family.

An evening to cherish :)

Taking the baby to the gym :)

It was a windy day today and both my baby and I are still terribly jet-lagged (we just got back from India over the weekend). We were in India for more than 3 months, and had a blast socializing with the entire family, meeting friends, chatting with neighbors everyday, and hosting a wedding in the family. Ruhi got the most attention and love from everyone. Being in India did wonders on her social skills development, and reduced her stranger anxiety to a great extent.

Ever since we have been back, its been kinda lonely. We are not going out much coz she sleeps a lot during the day, and the weather outside is a little bit chilly for her. However, I did not want to get stuck in a boring routine at home, so even though it was very windy today, I took her to a local kids gym for a trial class. This little studio has programs for babies (or bugs as they call it) as little as 4 months for motor skills development. Music, exercise, socializing - sounded like a fun thing to try :)!

Ruhi had an awesome time. There were 8 babies with their moms, 7 girls and 1 boy. The age group was perfect for her....they were all between age 6-9 months. The teacher was also fantastic. The class started with a couple of introductory songs where we were given rattles for the babies to rhyme with. We then did a few upper body gentle moves, after which we did some tummy exercises and some pseudo-baby-somersaults. I tried some of the moves for the first time with Ruhi, and was amazed at how well she adapted to them and liked them.

We then moved on to standing time (with support) during which she socialized with a cute 7-month old. Most of the stuff we did will help with her balance, co-ordination and body awareness.

The teacher then picked up Ruhi and took her to the bars (gymnastics portion of the class), where she tested her grip (which is very strong). She was happy with how Ruhi held on and said she has good core strength.

We then moved on to the most fun part of the class - blowing bubbles. We all stood in a circle with our babies standing up on our palms facing inside the circle (so that the babies face each other), as the teacher blew bubbles in the circle for the babies to play. Ruhi had a blast...she was trying to catch the bubbles while giggling and babbling. She was all smiles, even though she was tired and ready for her nap.

The class ended with two beautiful cleanup and goodbye songs. Overall, I am so glad I went. I got to meet other mommies in the area, and Ruhi had fun socializing with other babies her age.

There are a couple other studios in the area that offer the same kind of classes, so I will be checking them out in the next few weeks, and then will enroll in the one that I feel is best suited for us.

We are also planning to try out a kiddie swimming pool sometime soon, coz Ruhi loves bath time and splashing water around in her small tub at home.

Oh, the joys of parenting :)

Breastfeeding vs Formula

Most of my reading these days is baby related. It's fascinating to learn how babies grow, and reading up on baby development also helps when things are not going perfect with my newborn. After all, we all want only the best for our kiddos, right?

My baby has been on the skinny side of the weight charts since her first doctor visit. She lost more than average weight during the first 3 days at the hospital, she battled jaundice during her first month, and after that she settled into her own growth pattern...which she has maintained till date.

Inspite of being told by doctors, family and friends that she is healthy and okay, I keep worrying about her weight gain. Sometimes when I am told she is skinny or very small or anything else related to this, I get affected. God knows how much I have read online on this topic, and I think I shall continue to do so for the next few months.

Inspite of this worry, I have exclusively breast fed her so far. I know its the best nutrition for her, and I have resisted all advice and temptation to switch her or supplement her with formula. Breastfeeding has been very challenging, and my entire day revolves around that. During the first few weeks, I had to track her feedings to report to the doctor, and I found it extremely stressful. Then my maternity leave got over when she was 6 weeks old, so I had to pump in the day and during the night to have enough milk for her feedings while I was away at work. When she was 3 months old, I took my long break from work and came to India with my parents. I then fed her on demand, and only expressed milk if I had to go out for an errand. I introduced rice cereal and couple other foods to her recently.....mostly to develop her taste buds.

Today, I gave her a taste of Formula. She drank it normally, just like every other thing she has tried so far. I just wanted to introduce her to the taste, and also occasionally be able to give her formula so that I have an alternative when I need it. Also, she is almost 6 months old, so I felt it was the right time to experiment with it.

I found the formula so easy to make. It took me less than 2 minutes.....and a bottle of milk was ready. It set me thinking about the last 6 months when I have had to do so much in order to keep my baby properly fed with my milk. Starting from my intake of food and keeping myself hydrated (both of which affect my milk supply instantly) to monitoring her intake, washing/sterilizing all the equipment used, etc etc - everything needs to carefully managed so that she is happy and content and never hungry.

For a second, I thought life would be so much simpler if I gave her formula from day 1. But I know what I am doing is the best thing for my baby, and I don't mind continuing until I can, and/or until she wants to.

From what I have read online and from the many people I have spoken to....almost everyone finds this challenging. I feel actually blessed to be able to breastfeed my baby...so many moms are not able to do so. In the US, formula feeding is much more common than in India. I could not even find a decent cover-up for breastfeeding in public at stores in the US.....the one I found was like 40 dollars.

There are lactation consultants and free clinics at most hospitals in the US, and many other resources to help with breastfeeding as well, but I don't know how many people take advantage of it. From my experience, nurses always insist on feeding formula if you are not explicit about your preferences. Pediatricians don't seem to care either what you choose to do. Whereas in India, I met 2 pediatricians, and both applauded me for my efforts. I also found breastfeeding in public much easier in India than in US.

Here is a good link explaining the benefits of breast milk: http://www.nrdc.org/breastmilk/benefits.asp

Now than I am going over the 6-month hump, I feel less stressed about the whole feeding thing. I hope the combination of solids, occasional formula and breastmilk brings some substantial weight gain in my daughter over the next few months :).