Happy Holidays 2014!

Here's wishing you Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays, from our family to yours!

Hope the coming year brings you great health, joy and peace in your daily routine, travel and adventures, and everything else you wish for!

Not a good weekend....

Last weekend was filled with a string of bad news...they kept coming and did not stop until the very end.

It started with my sister telling me about their friend's 6 month old son, who got diagnosed with kidney cancer. Just 6 months old - can you imagine? A kidney has been removed and chemo is to start shortly. The young parents have no family around, and I'm sure they must be in the trenches with their emotions.

I also made a tough phone call to a neighbor.....they lost their 17-month old daughter last month while we were away. She was such a precious, healthy little child....and it was a very sudden loss. I am yet to meet them...but I'm sure I will be at a loss of words when I do.

I recently attended a cousin's wedding in Bangalore. It was such a happy event.....I really enjoyed spending time with all my cousins and came back with happy memories. We found out last weekend that my cousin's mother-in-law, a very sweet lady who always wore a smile on her face, got diagnosed with breast cancer. Not even a month after her daughter's wedding, which the family hosted with such pride and fanfare....they have to deal with this difficult situation.

These news were coming in on Saturday, and by the end of the day, I was emotionally spent. A friend visited us with his soon-to-turn-1-year old and he brought his cousin along with him. One look at the girl and you could tell something was wrong. He told me she was assaulted earlier in the week by some black men. I won't go into much detail but it was a scary, traumatic experience. I'm glad she is safe with us now, but an incident like this is enough to alter a person's life.

On Sunday, we had another friend visit us. They are a couple I adore, and I've known them for a very long time. They mentioned about their cousin's son who is battling an allergic reaction to some drug and has been in ICU, on a respirator, since the last two weeks. My friend has been sending care packages to them every week and she had just finished sending a big package before they came to meet us.

Although none of these things have affected my immediate family, does it really matter? The empathy and sorrow that I feel towards these friends and acquaintances is the same. I can't just shrug off their thoughts from my mind easily.

I keep asking: how can I help? why them? why children? I look at my kids and wonder what if something happens to them? Sometimes, its just plain luck. But no one is always lucky, right? Someday, it will be us, and it will directly impact us.

It's just shaken me to the core - this string of bad news. Once I find a way to reach out, and help - in some way or the other, I'll feel a bit better.

Till then, please pray. For strength and for healing.

Post 11 - 10K Trail Race

I am not sure why I did not listen to the logical answer coming from my brain "Don't do it", and went with the meek "Yes you can" coming from my heart....

On Sunday, I ran a very tough 10K trail race, organized by Intel. On a very chilly day (which is perfect for long runs), the course took us through the Folsom Prison grounds, giving us a chance to peek into a side of Folsom we never get to see. The course was hilly, with constant ups and downs, taking us through streams and bridges, through bushes and trees. It was single track all the way. It kicked my butt, to say the least :).

Towards the very end, I stepped on a small rock on the trail and fell down, hard. My left knee got bruised, but I was able to finish strong. I also got a bad blister on my right toe during the run, but it was not painful while I was running. Both were minor injuries and I'm well on my way to being healed now!

Here's what I learnt:

:: If you sign up for a race, please train for it. You could get injured badly if you don't, and pay for your mistake for years to come. {In my case: I have been running on and off since the beginning of this year, hence I had the courage to go ahead with this race. Earlier this week, I also did a couple of strength training workouts at the Intel gym, and figured I should be able to hack it.}

:: Eat well, hydrate well, sleep well - the day before the race. {I stayed up until 2.30am to pack for my upcoming vacation. I also skipped dinner (sigh) and was snacking on junk while packing. The only thing I did was hydrate well.}

:: Plan your outfit and lay it out on the bed the night before. Also plan your morning breakfast well, and pack snacks/water for the race if needed. Charge your ipod/phone and keep headphones with your outfit. {Can you believe that I did all these things? YAY ME!}.

:: Take a shower a couple of hours before the race to warm up your muscles. And stretch using a foam roller. {I showered at 2.30am before going to bed instead. And foam roller is my best friend - I used it before and after}.

:: Don't be indecisive until the last minute. {I showed up at the venue thinking I will change my run to a 5K. But when I went to pick up my BIB, I saw that my number was the last 4 digits of my cell phone. It made me smile, and gave me a nudge that this is meant to be. So I stuck with my original plan.}

:: Once you start running, leave all worries behind and just have fun. {Which is what I precisely did}.

:: A running group helps. A lot. Train with one. They will support you and inspire you all the way. I'm proud to be associated with Runnin' for Rhett and they were there with me, before and after the race.

I have another 5K race this Saturday - this time the whole family plans to do it - let's see how it goes :)! Wish us luck!

Post 10 - Rule of 75

So Intel has a "Rule of 75" for retirement - you can retire when your age + years of service equal to 75.

For employees like me, who started our career at the company right after college - it means that before we turn 50 (48 in my case :)), we "CAN" possibly retire (does not mean you can afford to).

I was chatting with a colleague about college funds and retirement planning, and he said: "According to the rule of 75, I can retire at 49. I plan to quit Intel and start an alternate career".

That's when the light bulb blinked inside me. I could capitalize on this rule too.

I've long contemplated about changing my career. But what next? Is the million dollar question. I choose to live quite frugally in many aspects of life, and could really cut down on expenditure even more drastically if the needed arises. But still, I have a family to raise and kids to send to college. So I need income on a consistent basis.

Alternate Careers that interest me: Nursing, Therapist, Owning/running a preschool (Age 3-6), small business owner (I have some ideas here), writing (although not full time).

So  maybe I just carry on for the next 12-13 years with my current career, and then pursue one of these alternate professions? Or do I start working on an alternate path right now? No spare time on my hands so not sure how to accomplish that.

I'm thinking out loud here and looking for some brainstorming.

Post 9 - A visit to the zoo

This conversation happened on our way to the San Diego zoo:

Her: Mom, are the animals going to be pretend or real?
Me: Real beta.
Her: Why?
Me: The animals are caged. So you are safe. They are there for you to visit, observe and learn.
Her: Why are they all caged mumma? Is zoo their real house?
Me: {starting to get uncomfortable about the whole visit coz I hate zoos anyway}. No baby. The jungle is their real home. But some animals are brought from the jungle to the zoo. So all of us can visit and learn about them in a safe environment.
Her: Mumma, will there be a lion?
Me: Yes.
Her: Can I pat the lion?
Me: No.
Her: Why? you said it's safe?
Me: The lion will be in a cage. He is dangerous and you cannot go near him. You can say hello from far away.

We moved on to talk about polar bears and pandas and elephants.

The kids had a good time, in general. We got lucky and got front row seats on top of the double-decker bus during the zoo tour. We could see polar bears, grizzly bears, elephants, giraffes, Hippos, etc very clearly. We walked quite a bit as well, and were lucky to observe a Jaguar feeding session.

Within a few hours, the kids has seen and learnt whatever they could, they were exhausted, and slept peacefully in their car seats on our way home.

All said and done, I'm not sure if I can ever love going to the zoo. I simply don't like it. During the entire day, my only moments of peace came while we were walking as a family along a trail covered with bamboo trees....no cages around and very few people too. Rest of the time, I can say I was uncomfortable from within, and did my best to hide it from the kids.

I value freedom very dearly. And the reality of a zoo is that very freedom is taken away from these animals. Even though some species are endangered (like the Panda) and the zoos are doing their bit in the conversation space, the animals are still held captive. They might be taken care of and fed well, so physically they might be okay. But what about their emotional well being?

And about kids learning, even that can be done by watching documentaries/shows that are filmed in the wild. It can be done by taking the kids to visit National Parks and Safaris. When we visited Denali National Park in Alaska, I remember the bus driver's comment: "Everywhere else, the animals are caged and you are free. Here, we drive you around in a cage (bus) to see the animals roaming freely in their natural habitat." And honestly, that bus trip was totally zen-like. One of my best trips ever.

So, what do you think?

Here's a picture of the kiddos at the zoo :)!

Post 8 - Winding them up

If you go by the experts, you need to have a bedtime routine with children. You need to do the standard bath, put on PJ's, read a book, cuddle, and help the child calm down. Once the child is relaxed, (s)he will fall asleep quickly.

The experts are right, but a strict routine for me is boring. And more often than not, I end up doing the opposite of what is suggested above.

For example, we do a bath, but instead of putting on PJ's, we dress them up in twirly dresses and play loud music for them to let off some steam :).

{Sorry Ramesh, but it's simply too tempting to see the son in such cute outfits. And he obliges without any issues :)}.

And instead of cuddling, we start playing hike n seek, tickling each other under the darkness of the blanket, and bursting out in laughter. The kids in the below collage are in anticipation of the huge blanket falling over them. They cozied up, and had a blast tickling each other.

A lot of times it's just Roughhousing. A must in my opinion...to keep their relationship healthy and strong.

I admit, I tend to wind them up at bedtime. Thankfully, after a few minutes of my antics, the husband takes over and works on winding them down. He is good at telling them stories, and he is also patient with them while reading books. In a few minutes, they transform from my mad monsters to the most adorable sleepy babies on the planet.

And because I've exhausted them before this transition happens, they fall asleep quickly.

Life is really about these fleeting moments in your daily life. Moments which have warmth, joy and love - all neatly packaged for you to cherish.....not just today but for years to come!

Post 7 - Logic

Over breakfast a few days ago, the daughter says:

Her: Mumma, you love Rusham and Pappa loves me. Right?

Me: I love both of you, Ruhi.

Her: No mumma, but you love Rusham more. And papa loves ME more.

Me: No betu. I love you both equally.

Her: It's not like that mumma. Because Girls always love boys and boys love girls. It's always like that.

Me: Who told you?

Her: No one. I just know.


Can someone please explain how a 4-year old can come up with such logic?