San Bernardino

As I cruised through my daily routine, I learnt about the shootings being reported in San Bernardino. The fear that these mass random shootings are causing is humongous.

I recently took a class at work on self defense. We learnt about how to protect ourselves in dangerous situations. It was a hands on class taught by ex-military personnel and a Martial Arts instructor who is also an Intel employee. And I was feeling good about equipping myself with the tools that I learnt in class. But all that is useless in situations of such random, senseless shootings. You just have to be present at the wrong place, wrong time and your life will either be gone or forever be altered.

A friend of mine asked me out for a movie earlier this week, and I felt terrified of just the two of us (girls) going to the theatre alone at night. I asked her to wait until weekend so that we could go during the day. And as taught in my self defense class, I'll be sure to sit where they recommended, and be aware of all exits and surroundings. To live with such fear, day in and day out, is crippling. And by God's grace, nothing has happened to me or my family....yet. Still, there's this terror that numbs me every single day.

When I think about my kids, I get tears in my eyes. I do my best to keep them safe, but anything can happen anywhere, anytime. Shootings, abuse, bullying, drugs, depression - there is so much to deal with. My housekeeper's niece was recently caught doing drugs in middle school. Our town is notorious for drugs. My children are still young and go to private school, but eventually, a lot of these things will come into play for me, and I will have to educate them. I don't remember growing up with so much fear.

I feel helpless at times, but I also believe in doing whatever you can to make a difference. I helped a few friends from Chennai today with information on how to get in touch with their family. I trained all my daughter's elementary school teachers for a maker workshop that I am doing for the kids on Friday. I covered for two of my colleagues at work who are on vacation. In my own little ways, I try to pay it forward.

And I hope and pray for the victims and their families!