Timing is everything

This is somewhat of a rant or a vent....

I seem to live among a very ambitious crowd. Most of the people have a Masters degree, and have jobs in companies who have solid revenues year after year. They want to do Ph.D or MBA, they also want to play in cricket or tennis leagues, they want to hike at various National Parks on weekends, they don't want to waste a single minute of their time being idle (or what I personally prefer to call as resting time).

All this is fun and good as long as kids are not in the picture. I was one of these above people too....to a large extent. But once these ambitious people become parents, that's when they cannot figure out the art of balancing. So many of my friends are doing MBA along with working full time and have kids who are a few months old or 18 months or 2 years old. These very young children are either at daycare all day (and no matter how good a daycare provider you can find, it's never comparable to being at home) or at home with a nanny or with grandparents who lovingly tend to them, feed them and bathe them at home but cannot take them out anywhere as they don't drive a vehicle.

I wish couples who both work full time would plan their children at a time when besides their work, they could devote their full focus and attention to the kids. When they can afford to take as much time off as possible, and when promotions at work can take a backseat for a while. Atleast until the kids reach 1st grade or so. Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers require a ton of one-on-one time. They are hungry for your attention all the time. Any little thing they do - be it a tower of building blocks, a puzzle, a drawing, a game of hopscotch, or blowing bubbles - they want your approval at every step. Their bodies and brains are growing at a very fast pace in these early years, and the more time, love and affection that a child's mom or dad gives them, the better it is for their growth.

When you trying to do too much within the 24 hours that you have during the day, the first thing you do is compromise on sleep. Lack of sleep causes you to be irrational and judgmental and lose your patience when you are dealing with a two year old's tantrum, for example. If you have a sick child, you have to drop your MBA class and tend to him or her....this affects your studies as well as affects you mentally for not being able to give your 100% to the course you are doing. And young children fall sick....a lot. Sometimes every weekend for a period of time. These are just some examples.

I have tried sharing this with a friend or two, and the response I get is: well there is no good time. If I have to do it, now is the time, else it will never get done. My response: well, then let go of it. It's not worth it at your child's expense.

Someone else told me: each one has a different parenting style. What works for you may not work for them. My response: well, don't kids all over the world have the same requirements from their parents? love, care and quality time?

Maybe my standards are too high. But I'm glad my hubs is on the same page as me. We live a very slow paced life with our very young children. I never say no to reading a book or narrating a story. Yesterday, I was talking to the daughter for more than an hour at bedtime (everyone else was asleep in other rooms of the house) but she did not have to go to school and hubby had the day off today so it was okay if she stayed up late and I just enjoyed that precious time with her. We always plan trips where there is something for the kids to look forward to, and where we leave lots of free time during the day for them to simply be out of their car seats and relax. I cook fresh meals for them every single day...the kids rarely eat leftovers. They are our highest priority, and while they are this young, other things can wait, or fall off the bucket list.