Babies and Medication

Being part of two moms' groups - one Indian and the other non-Indian (where I am the only Indian), I come to know of lots of great parenting information. As always, good comes with the not-so-good.

This issue about medication has been bothering me for a while.

So most of the babies in one of my moms' groups are teething, and they are having major sleep issues. My baby is also going through the same. Many of the parents give Tylenol or Advil or some form of pain medication on a regular basis to their babies so that they sleep through the night. They research on what is the right dosage, and sometimes even ask the doctor if its okay, and then proceed accordingly.

I am somehow not comfortable with drugging my child just because (s)he is going through her normal development phase in life. Babies grow immensely during their first year. Each month things change. Their food habits, milestones, sleep patterns - everything changes constantly. When both people are working full time and relying on day care, its just hard. Even for stay at home moms, the first year is very tough coz they are still getting used to everything. Nursing/breastfeeding rules your entire schedule. Lack of sleep helps nobody. These are painful and trying times. You see less of the rewards from the baby coz they are so little and not very responsive.

Having said that, I think most of us jump into the whole parenting thing knowing it will be somewhat like this, correct? At least I did. I am very fortunate to have a spouse who is a very hands-on parent (sometimes needs to be told to do certain things but he always acts upon things when told) and I also have my parents living with us and taking care of the baby as well as the house while we both work full time. Even though I have battled sleep deprivation since the second trimester of my pregnancy, my awesome support system helps make up for it somewhat. Its still hard, but it could be worse.

And I did not once think about giving my child medication just so that I could sleep through the night. We co-sleep, and I wake up 2-4 times every single night to nurse the baby. When she is teething, she wakes up more often. She resists her naps and its hard to put her to bed everyday. But I happily do everything for her. When she smiles, I soak it all in. When she reaches a milestone, I celebrate from within. I don't know if giving her medication will help her feel better. Will it really numb the pain? Even if it does, is it really necessary? or, is it the right thing to do?

Before writing this post, I posted this question on the moms group website and am waiting to hear their opinion.

After becoming a parent, you have to be so much more responsible of all your actions, coz it can affect the life of your own child directly. No one said it was going to be easy though :).

My daughter and I - A comparison :)

So I was getting bored at work today and came up with this. You see, there is not much difference between the baby and me ;). And, she is growing up way tooooooooooo fast. I wish time went sloooooooooooooooowly and this baby phase lasted a bit loooooooooooooooooger :).



PS: Click on the image to view it full size.

Wordless Wednesday - 2

These pictures were clicked at Big Bear Lake, CA last weekend (May29, 2011). It was very cold, and most of the lake activities were closed due to high winds. We stopped at a bridge on the lake on our way to the discovery center, and saw the clouds at lake level passing through us. The entire bridge was lined with people who were trying to fish, coz as we found out after asking, fish are very active in such weather and also near the surface of the water. It started snowing lightly soon after, and then we had hail. The entire scene changed in less than 15 mins, when the clouds were gone and the sun came out. These few minutes were the highlight of our trip. Mother Nature is truly amazing!

Money

It is said that money can ruin relationships. It can also break marriages. It can cause so much bitterness between people that they can never feel normal with each other again.

If you have experienced any sort of issues on this front, you will agree to this whole heartedly.

I feel myself very fortunate and blessed to never having to ask anyone for money. Until I attended college, my parents happily paid for my education, and never once in my life made me feel that they were doing something out of the ordinary. Right after graduation, I found a job and worked for few months before heading over to the US for my Masters. My dad helped me get a loan to pay for it, and I was extremely lucky to find on-campus jobs throughout that period to pay for my monthly expenses (apart from tuition). Before graduating, I landed a job at Intel and within a year of working, I had paid off my loan. After that, I have always ensured I spend way less that what I earn, and have also helped family and friends with my savings time and again.

I don't drive an expensive car, neither do I buy expensive outfits, nor do I go clubbing or spend lavishly on any form of entertainment. I bought a starter home which serves all our needs right now, and we hardly paid any down payment for it. I do enjoy few luxuries in life, however, they are much less in proportion to what I earn. I have never taken any unpaid or partial paid time off (except during maternity) throughout my career.

When lending money to friends (on rare occasions), I have not once reminded them of it. Or asked for them to return it. The people who have borrowed it have proven to be real gems - worthy of being helped out in their time of need. They have not only returned the money in a timely manner, they have also paid interest (inspite of me refusing to take it) and have expressed their gratitude in a profound way. I could not ask for more!

However, I have recently come across few situations which have been uncomfortable (for lack of a better word or I could say, hurtful). There are few people who are very cheap and they always bring money into the conversation. We might not even be talking about it, but when there is a conflict, they will always use money as an insult or retaliation mechanism. They seem to lose their composure, and stability of mind, and reasoning, and respect - everything - and just say things that they themselves regret later. Words do sting hard - spoken, or written. For a person like me, who finds it easier to forgive but much much harder to forget, they stay with me forever. And emotionally and mentally, I move farther away from that person, even if I don't wish to. All this is okay if it happens with someone who is not close to you. But what if this is a family member or a very close friend?

When I reflect upon my experiences related to this issue, I cannot help but think about how I was raised. My mother is a stay-at-home mom who sacrificed her career (she is sooper smart) for the kids and family. However, she ran the household according to her terms, and was never questioned by my dad or anyone else about daily expenses. For my sister, my grandma (who lived with us) and I, we always had access to how much ever money we wanted. We just had to justify why we needed it. Growing up, I don't remember a single conversation about financial issues happening in the house. If there was anything to be resolved, it was done by mom and dad in privacy. My parents also always explained to us in a loving and positive way the importance of money. When we would be unreasonable with our demands as kids, they dealt with us in a very efficient manner. Everything was not perfect, but overall, we were raised with a good value of money and management of finances.

On the contrary, if I grew up in a household where there were always conflicts related to money, I would be dealing with issues in my own life very differently.

I am proud to say that I have been able to maintain my self-respect and dignity while dealing with these hurtful situations. Even though I am very short tempered, I have maintained my calm, and not uttered anything that I regret. It's been tough, but I have been successful.

I hope such awkward scenarios don't come by too often.

Post#100: Distance....

This word has been on my mind a lot lately.

For the baby, even a second away from her feels like galaxies apart. At night, she hugs me tight and sleeps with me. Sometimes she sleeps on me. I am only left wishing she was closer. I could stay awake all night watching her sleep. Often (like in the picture above), she has eyes only for me, and how I love that!!!! Distance is a strict no-no in this mom-baby relationship.

For my sister, I am lucky she resides on the same continent, same country, and same state as I live. She has a life of her own where she lives, and can visit me on a short notice. We talk over the phone and email everyday. I am content with the distance between us at the moment.

For my mom and dad, the last couple years have been a blessing. I've lived away from them for way too long, and the amount of time I spend with them is never enough. The way they take care of their grandbaby is beyond words. We do have issues living together, but I would rather deal with the issues than the stress and worry of having them live away from me and grow old without me around them. Distance is difficult to deal with in this case.

For the husband, we live together in harmony. There is no physical distance, but at times, there is emotional and mental distance. There are things we agree upon, and things we disagree. However, the good surpasses the bad, and that makes it a happy healthy relationship. The baby has brought together a bond which forces us to always be at our best behavior, and only be positive towards each other. Distance (whatever form), in this case, is at an acceptable level (currently).

I wish my bapuji lived closer to me. I also wish my husband's siblings lived closer to us. There are few more people in my family that I care deeply about, and I wish they lived closer to me. Although we are physically apart, we are emotionally connected. Distance makes the heart grow fonder in most of these cases.

My friend P, who lives close to me but not in the same town, is someone I am very fond of. I really miss my daily interactions with him and sometimes I am fed up of always sharing with him over the virtual medium of phone and email. We both lead an extremely busy life, and it seems we never get enough time with each other. I definitely wish he lived right next to me :). Distance kills me in this case!

I have a close friend from college with whom I recently reconnected. There was a reason why we were not in touch, but after so many years, I felt we could move on and initiated an effort. We used to live in the same town and work for the same company all these years, but we never talked or met. He has now moved far away, and that makes it so much easier to get back in touch again. Distance, in this case, is a welcome blessing! Ironic, isn't it?

When I make new friends or lose old ones, I always go through a wave of emotions. When friends move away, or when I move places, it's difficult. It's a relief to have some people out of your life, while it's painful to part away from the ones with whom you share a special connection with. Distance, in this case, is relative!

As I said in the beginning, this word has been a lot on my mind lately. And this post was an effort to pen down some of the thoughts going through my mind.

This is my 100th post on this blog. I don't write often, and so it's taken quite some time to get to the first century. I've enjoyed my journey in the blogosphere so far, and I hope to continue until I can :)!

My very own VH1 Top 5 for April 2011

I've been listening to the following 5 songs a lot lately.....the baby loves the Bruno Mars video as well :).

I mostly get to know new songs by listening to the radio on my drive to work and back. I have an iPod and an iPhone  but I hate updating it with new music (sad, I know) so new Bollywood songs never make the list. For Bollywood, I totally rely on friends and family. However, songs from a couple singers like Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Mohit Chauhan are always good, so I listen to them often.

1. Adele "Rolling in the Deep" - This girl has some serious chops. Her Grammy winning song "Chasing Pavements" is also one of my favorites.

2. Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song" - This guy comes out with good stuff. I recently wrote a post on how I was humming his other song "Grenade" all day. Check out the video of this song - it's sooper cool :).

3. Jennifer Lopez "On the floor" - Great song and video. I like J LO more as a dancer than as a singer. This song is a remake of "Lambada". Another song which copied the same tune is the Bollywood song "Sochna kya jo bhi hoga dekha jayega" (I like this one as well).

4. Black Eyed Peas "Just Can't Get Enough" - I just can't get enough of this song....love Fergie and WILL.I.AM! And he works for Intel now - how sooper cool is that!!!!

5. Enrique Iglesias "Tonite" - Most of his songs (that I like) are so sensuous. When I am in the mood, I love listening to all of them. This one keeps playing on the radio often and I quite like it.

Do you like any of these?

Dolphins and The Cove

I watched the Oscar winning documentary "The Cove" last night. Many people had been raving about it and it was on my list of things to watch for a long time. One word review: "WOW"!


The documentary is about trying to expose one of what the filmmakers see as the most cruel acts against wild dolphins in the world in Taiji, Japan, where dolphins are routinely corralled, either to be sold alive to aquariums and marine parks, or slaughtered for meat. This activity takes place in a heavily guarded area known as "the cove" where no one is allowed (from IMDB).


First up, kudos to everyone involved in making this documentary. These people took great risks while carrying out their mission successfully.


Two world class freedivers (Mandy-Rae Cruickshank and Kirk Krack) helped with this mission. I had to google freediving in the first place. Mandy-Rae can go down to 300 feet in one breath of air and come back up on her own....that's some serious skill worthy of 8 world championships under her belt.


I did not know dolphin meat was so high in mercury. They wanted to feed this meat to children in Taiji and other perfectures in Japan as school lunch. Thank God it did not get approved. I didn't know that dolphin meat was sold either, but I have come to assume that people can eat any form of meat if given a choice. After watching this documentary, I'm so glad I'm a vegetarian. Also most of the time we prepare meals at home, so we know what is going into our body. 


I also learnt many new facts about dolphins. Their smile is nature's greatest deception. In the wild, they travel 40 miles a day. The most fascinating fact is - in the water, dolphins can see right through you. They can see your heart beating. They can see your bones. They can see if you're pregnant. The best sonar we have compared to dolphins seems like a toy, isn't it?


Dolphins and whales do not automatically breathe air, like humans. So they can end their life by not taking their next breath :(. That's what dolphins in captivity do when life becomes too unbearable for them. All of us who go to Seaworld and other aquariums to watch them perform should think hard about whether we are doing the right thing by supporting these institutions who hold these mammals in captivity.


The filmmakers says 23000 dolphins are killed in this cove every year. What a sad sad situation. After watching the documentary, I read articles on the internet on what the progress is so far, and what little I can do to help. I'm surprised the International Whaling Commission is not doing enough to stop this slaughter. Even if some of the facts are exaggerated, this is clearly a major issue and I hope it gets resolved before the next whaling season that begins in September.